DEAR ABBY: I made a big mistake three years ago. When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I became vengeful and sought revenge. I ended up sleeping with my sister-in-law's boyfriend to get back at my husband and at her for some things she did in the past. It took my pain away -- for a bit.
Abby, I am not this kind of person. I'm not an evil, conniving tramp. I regret what I did every day, and I feel like garbage.
My sister-in-law and I haven't spoken since I decided to tell her the truth. My husband and I (miraculously) were able to work through our problems, and our relationship is stronger than ever. My sister-in-law and her boyfriend have remained together, and I don't speak to him anymore either.
What can I do to earn forgiveness? Is this even forgivable? How can I mend this family I helped tear apart? -- ONLY HUMAN IN HOUSTON
DEAR ONLY HUMAN: You might start by apologizing to your sister-in-law for the pain you caused her. But after that, the decision about whether she can forgive you or wants anything more to do with you will be up to her.
You went on a vengence bender. Now, it's over. Move on. Make your apologies and then move forward. If she never talks to you again or doesn't choose to forgive you, she doesn't have too and that is OK either way. And, you can move on knowing you did the right thing by apologizing.
The sister-in-law is probably never going to like her again, even after she apologizes. She needs to realize this.
Yes. However, the BF has some ownership too. I assume he wasnt' unconcious but that is for the SIL to deal with. And, that is probably why she doesn't want to see her anymore since they are still together.
Cheating is one of those "scar your soul" kind of things.
It poisons and kills.
Sounds like the only one who didn't cheat was the SIL. So I can totally understand her anger.
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The sister-in-law is probably never going to like her again, even after she apologizes. She needs to realize this.
Yes. However, the BF has some ownership too. I assume he wasnt' unconcious but that is for the SIL to deal with. And, that is probably why she doesn't want to see her anymore since they are still together.
Yes, he does - but it sounds like LW purposely set out to sleep with him specifically meaning she didn't give a thought to SIL and she did it to hurt SIL's brother b/c he cheated. I wouldn't want to talk to her, either.
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