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Nobody Just Nobody


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No room for grandparents' overnight visit
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http://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/columns/carolyn-hax/no-room-for-grandparents-overnight-visit/article_0954c04c-9fd8-525e-8f16-aa4d222708ce.html

Dear Carolyn • My husband and I recently moved to a small, one-and-a-half-bedroom apartment in a new city with our young child. Our infant’s room is about the size of a walk-in closet! Despite the lack of room, we love it here.

The problem is dealing with requests to stay with us from family, particularly the grandparents. They’ve asked if we could put them up overnight when they visit — but we have about two feet of walking space in the living room. The only other rooms are the dining room and galley kitchen.

We’ve suggested they stay in a hotel, causing some hard feelings. These grandparents have traveled here several times a year in the past for fun and stayed in hotels, so affording it doesn’t seem to be the issue.

Are we right to ask them to stay elsewhere? Is there a way that won’t cause such hard feelings? They say they’re happy to sleep on the floor!

— Need Some Breathing Room

Answer • “That’s just it — there is no floor. Trust us on this till you see for yourselves.”

It’s a hard idea to get used to, I know, and pressure from loved ones only makes it harder, but: You have only two obligations here, to figure out your limits and then to enforce them kindly. That’s it.

You’ve decided you won’t bunk Grandma in the hallway — Step 1 accomplished. Now Step 2, say so kindly and don’t budge.

If any visitors hold grudges, then reassure yourself that you took everyone’s needs into account and made your decision accordingly, as was your prerogative. Hard feelings are unfortunate but also a price you already built into your choice.



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ed11563


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Tell them to bring sleeping bags, send the pictures of the floor space, send them a bathroom schedule (You can have the bathroom from 8:45 until 8:55 in the morning, and from 11:50 to noon, 3:45 to 4:00, and 7:15 to 7:20 in the evening).

Then if they still come, put their sleeping bags where people will be tripping on them or stepping on them.

 

Explain to them that they can stay in the apartment if they will pay for YOU and your spouse and child to stay at a nice hotel (including room service) while they're there.

 

 



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Lindley


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When my dd and her family get back to the states we will stay in a hotel when we will go see them. Their guest room will now be the baby's and we have no problem with that

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FNW


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Been there, done that. Received the hard feelings, but at least I could sleep in my own bed (I was expected to give up mine), peacefully.

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huskerbb


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FNW wrote:

Been there, done that. Received the hard feelings, but at least I could sleep in my own bed (I was expected to give up mine), peacefully.

Now that I would NEVER do.

 

If they want to stay at my place I have no problem with it.  We have whatever guest beds we have, couches, or the floor.  I'm not giving up my bed to anyone.  



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Lindley


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We have given up our bed when my elderly aunt and uncle stopped by for the night and for my parents. We were in our early 20's and we were ok with it.

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huskerbb


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Nope. Not doing it, nor would I expect anyone to do it for me. If I don't like the accommodations I can always get a hotel room.

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karl271


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We get this a lot. Our house is so much smaller than ones in the US and people just cannot seem to understand this. We have used the "just no room" approach and the "there are some inexpensive hotels nearby" one. So far, no problem - after they see the house they understand completely.

It is 2 story but laid out flat it would probably be about the same size in area as your living room and kitchen combined.... When rooms are 9 x 12, the space just disappears when you put some furniture in.

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Mary Zombie


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I prefer staying in hotels. I sleep better. I don't get people like that. Ridiculous!

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I prefer to stay in hotels too. When we visit my sister, we stay in a hotel. With the 5 of us, it's just easier. Everyone sleeps better and is better rested. And, we make it a fun time ,because my sis and her family come over and we all hang out at the hotel pool and hot tub. It's a lot of fun. I really don't know why anyone over 30 wants to crash at someone's place and sleep on the floor or whatever when you have the money for a nice hotel.

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