TOTALLY GEEKED!

As administrative assistant, isn't this part of the job?

Ok. Delegation can be your best friend.

Or, you know it is an annual event so plan ahead.

I mean, you have 11 months to plan and pick out a gift.

Then the day of, you don't have to stay more than 15-30 minutes.

Well since the party is out at a restaurant, she can't very well show up for just 15 minutes and if it is on Company time, she has to suck it up, the party is an alternate work location. She really needs to find out why she dreads the party. Perhaps she is expected to do all the work while everyone else has a good time. If that is the case, she needs to plan the party at a place that once party day arrives, her duties are done.

I think there is a psychological issue.

LW says group settings make her nervous yet enjoys the social time after meetings.

Or maybe there is a lot of drinking and behavior she doesn't like being around during these Christmas parties.

flan327 wrote:

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Empyreal wrote:

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Whiny loser.

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 Why? Not everyone is comfortable at a stupid office party.

Work is NOT your personal life.

flan

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It's okay to step out of your comfort zone sometimes.  You know, act like an adult! 

It is part of her job, she should just deal with it. 

It's an office Christmas gathering.  If that's enough to send her into a tailspin, how does she pull out of her driveway? 

It would do her a lot of good to realize she is working harder at making it hard for herself.  She should recognize it as part of the job and then do her best. 

I hated going to the ob/gyn.  I LOATHE it!!!!  But you know what?  I had kids and that's part of the job.  Just do it, get through it and be proud when you did. 

I could totally understand if it was something more severe, it's really not.  They aren't going sky diving at this Christmas party?  It's a normal gathering I assume? 

Yeah, that makes her a whiny baby. 

Well, you are obviously welcome to your opinion, as am I.

flan

😮🍿...I am just sitting here waiting for the big sandwich comment...any time now...

Empyreal wrote:

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Whiny loser.

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Yeah.  Good God.  They function with these people every damn day at the office--but all of a sudden they go into conniptions if they have to deal with them in a social setting?

 

People are big babies.  Not everything is about you.  Society has TONS of little traditions and such that we have to make society more tolerable. Just because YOU don't like them does not mean it doesn't serve an important function in your company and that other people also hate it.

 

It's ONE DAMN NIGHT.  They aren't asking to fill your social calendar for every Saturday night of the year. 

If you truly can't bear it--then get a job somewhere else.  Otherwise, put on your big girl (or boy) panties, suck it up, buy a bottle of wine or a gift card and go to the damn party.   

I wish I was perfect...

flan

huskerbb wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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I wish I was perfect...

flan

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 Oh for gods sakes.  Quit being such a drama queen.  

 

Its ts not about being "perfect".  It's about growing up, realizing that life isn't always about what you want or makes you comfortable, and dealing with things in a manner that shows you aren't some pissy pants baby.

Its an hour or two out of her life having to interact with people she even admits she interacts with On a social level, anyway.

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 Have you ever suffered from social anxiety? It's NOT that easy for some people.

And I can't help it if that is how you come across.

flan

Lawyerlady wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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I wish I was perfect...

flan

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 Oh for gods sakes.  Quit being such a drama queen.  

 

Its ts not about being "perfect".  It's about growing up, realizing that life isn't always about what you want or makes you comfortable, and dealing with things in a manner that shows you aren't some pissy pants baby.

Its an hour or two out of her life having to interact with people she even admits she interacts with On a social level, anyway.

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 Have you ever suffered from social anxiety? It's NOT that easy for some people.

And I can't help it if that is how you come across.

flan

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 She does social stuff with these people all the time.  And IF (big IF) she actually has a level of social anxiety that keeps her from dealing with her job - she needs to get help.

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 But a job is "safer," in a sense. Roles are clearly defined.

flan

Well, i am not a fan of company parties. I really don't want to be bothered. I spend enough time at work and unless i am getting paid, i really dont' feel like donating my time. But, i will go of that is the thing to do.

flan327 wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Well, i am not a fan of company parties. I really don't want to be bothered. I spend enough time at work and unless i am getting paid, i really dont' feel like donating my time. But, i will go of that is the thing to do.

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 If my employer judges my job performance on whether or not I go to a stupid holiday party...no...

flan

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But part of her job is to PLAN the thing.  She has to be there.   

flan327 wrote:

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Ohfour wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Well, i am not a fan of company parties. I really don't want to be bothered. I spend enough time at work and unless i am getting paid, i really dont' feel like donating my time. But, i will go of that is the thing to do.

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 If my employer judges my job performance on whether or not I go to a stupid holiday party...no...

flan

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But part of her job is to PLAN the thing.  She has to be there.   

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 I was talking about me, not the OP.

flan

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Oh...sorry.. 

flan327 wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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I wish I was perfect...

flan

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 Oh for gods sakes.  Quit being such a drama queen.  

 

Its ts not about being "perfect".  It's about growing up, realizing that life isn't always about what you want or makes you comfortable, and dealing with things in a manner that shows you aren't some pissy pants baby.

Its an hour or two out of her life having to interact with people she even admits she interacts with On a social level, anyway.

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 Have you ever suffered from social anxiety? It's NOT that easy for some people.

And I can't help it if that is how you come across.

flan

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 Oh bull.  She interacts with these people every damn day.

I try to get my "face time" in other ways, rather than at company parties. If the party is in the office, I'll pop my head in to say hello for a bit, then return to my office. I'll attend birthday luncheons. I'll stop in and chat for a few minutes every so often with a co-worker. But my office is quite large. When I worked for a small firm, I partook in the parties. It was fun.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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I'm over it. I dont wanna make small talk at company parties anymore.

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 So you can understand how the OP feels?

I've worked in libraries for 35 + years. (Did I really just admit that? LOL)

At some places, I enjoyed socializing with my co-workers...other times, no way!

flan

 

How are these losers even able to get up in the morning?

Lawyerlady wrote:

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flan327 wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Sorry, but if you are going to be the kind of employee that fusses about spending time with your co-workers and taking part in everything, you really shouldn't wonder why you are not the go-to girl for things or why you don't get promoted. Being successful at work is about a lot more than just doing your job. It's the people that don't understand that who constantly complain about the others in the office not liking them, or not getting chosen for certain things. It's called bonding, people, and when you are the one that refuses to do it, it will affect your career, like it or not.

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 It really depends on the industry.

flan

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 No, it really doesn't.  People just like to say that to excuse their inability to play well with others.

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 You are welcome to your opinion.

flan

Lawyerlady wrote:

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I don't need your permission to have an opinion.

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 Point being, obviously, that an opinion is not a fact.

I think we need to differentiate between a job and a profession, for starters.

flan

I remember one employer I had. They were planning the Christmas party. I was off the day of the Christmas party and they send out "mandatory" invitations. We did not get paid for attending the party. I went to my boss and told her I was scheduled to have lasix surgery the day of the party and would not be able to attend. I explained that I had planned the surgery on my day off so they didn't have to find someone to cover my shift. She told me to either cancel my surgery or I would be penalized for not showing up at the mandatory Christmas party. I went through with the surgery and when I came back they informed me that I had forfeited my right to my $25 Christmas bonus, free blanket with the hospital name printed on it, and my Christmas turkey. You know what? I didn't really care. If that is the kind of employer you are just keep all your crap.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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I remember one employer I had. They were planning the Christmas party. I was off the day of the Christmas party and they send out "mandatory" invitations. We did not get paid for attending the party. I went to my boss and told her I was scheduled to have lasix surgery the day of the party and would not be able to attend. I explained that I had planned the surgery on my day off so they didn't have to find someone to cover my shift. She told me to either cancel my surgery or I would be penalized for not showing up at the mandatory Christmas party. I went through with the surgery and when I came back they informed me that I had forfeited my right to my $25 Christmas bonus, free blanket with the hospital name printed on it, and my Christmas turkey. You know what? I didn't really care. If that is the kind of employer you are just keep all your crap.

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 WOW!

That certainly is NOT one bit unreasonable...NOT!!!

flan

Years ago my office decided to do a holiday party at one of those murder mystery dinners. The acting was horrible, the food didn't start coming out until 10 and it was horrible. It was a huge waste of time. Most of us ended up in the bar area and ordered apps.

I look at it as the company making an effort. Does it always work out great? Maybe not, but, they tried to do something.

It just is not that onerous of a deal.

burns07 wrote:

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they're a tradition--have worked for dealers who thought of christmas parties as a waste of time and money--have always disagreed with them--christmas parties are an opportunity for owners/management to GIVE something back to ALL of their employees--have done them for years and, yes, it's " part of the job "--i like giving $$$ to each and every employee with a sincere thank you and appreciation for what each one of them does to make us successful--they are ALL important and it's a big opportunity to LET THEM KNOW--that, by itself, is reason enough to have a christmas party

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 Well, in my case we apparently were not all that important.  Only the ones that showed up.  And not everyone got the $$$$  Only the ones that jumped through their hoops.