DEAR MISS MANNERS: I hope you will help me navigate a nasty family dispute. At family gatherings last summer, the hostess, my dear mother, relegated the party to the outside of the house, and decorated the floor from the backdoor to the bathroom with a path of towels, to lessen our impact on her home.
The temperatures soared and so did tempers.
Does a hostess have a responsibility to see to the comfort of her guests regardless of the messiness or rambunctiousness of her children and grandchildren? Does a guest ever have an occasion to request greater hospitality -- and free access to the more comfortable interior of the home?
I left the last family dinner early (and graciously). My sister stayed another two hours and departed only after browbeating my mother for not allowing us inside. Both are assuming that I will take their side in this argument.
GENTLE READER: A hostess indeed has a responsibility to see to the comfort of her guests, although your qualification -- that she do so irrespective of the behavior of the guests -- gives Miss Manners pause. That and the towels.
Miss Manners wonders if it would be worth reviewing the behavior of the rambunctious progeny before admonishing your mother. A bit of moderation all around might prevent your family Christmas gathering from being held in the snow.
If she was concerned about muddy feet, why hold the party outside? That makes no sense. I guess the guests are too rowdy for the party to be held inside? If so, why have the party at all?
That's silly. You never attend picnics? Go to baseball games? Spend any time outside in the summer???
Sounds boring.
I go to bar b ques sometimes. I find baseball boring. I will go outside in the evenings but not full on daytime if I can help it. I didn't used to mind the heat. It's only been the past couple of years.
I'm with you, lexxy. The humidity back here can be pretty bad. Last year was the first summer I enjoyed, but because I spent it in the pool.
The in-laws never ran their a/c. We stopped going in summer. Not going to drive 3 hours so we can bake. SIL didn't have a/c, so she would entertain outside. That was not fun either, watching the boys dripping wet from sweat.
-- Edited by FNW on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 02:08:20 PM
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I'm with you, lexxy. The humidity back here can be pretty bad. Last year was the first summer I enjoyed, but because I spent it in the pool.
The in-laws never ran their a/c. We stopped going in summer. Not going to drive 3 hours so we can bake. SIL didn't have a/c, so she would entertain outside. That was not fun either, watching the boys dripping wet from sweat.
-- Edited by FNW on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 02:08:20 PM
I was going to ask Husker what the humidity was like in Nebraska. It really is the humidity more so than the heat.
I know a lot of reasons people don't spend a lot of time outside. My DN has a beautiful olive complexion. When she goes out she gets all brown and pretty. My SS is a redheaded ginger. If he goes out for five minutes without sunscreen he comes in red as a lobster. He is that bad. He just burns. When you are outside swimming the heat is not as bad. But just hanging out for a bbq can get really hot. And some people really do have legitimate reasons to avoid the heat. Some medications, I know those for acne, cause extreme photosensitivity. So it's not smart to go out for long periods if you take them. I'd love to know more details from this letter. Are the kids really that bad? And like FNW said, if the kids are that bad that she doesn't want them in the house then hold it at a park. Or go to a kid friendly restaurant like Chuck E. Cheese.
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“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou