TOTALLY GEEKED!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Abby - Is revenge sex ok?
Post Info TOPIC: Dear Abby - Is revenge sex ok?
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Dear Abby - Is revenge sex ok?
Permalink  
 

DEAR ABBY: I found out a few months ago that my husband, "Hal," the father of my children, has had affairs with five different women. I left, and we are now being divorced.

 

 

I desperately wanted revenge, so I have been secretly seeing Hal's good friend "Ron," whom he "forbade" me from contacting after I told him his infidelity and disrespect gave me permission to act on the attraction I had for Ron. It's just a friends-with-benefits situation and I am having fun, so I don't really consider it to be revenge.

Hal has spent the last five months begging me to forgive him and work on our marriage, but I no longer love him and I certainly don't trust him. I told him I would "work on" forgiving him, so now he calls, says he still loves me and flirts.

The last woman Hal cheated on me with is his current girlfriend. He told me that if I ever want to hook up, I should make sure to use code words when leaving messages because she might see my calls and text messages. He also told me that he is not interested in a longterm relationship with her.

I slept with Hal recently to have leverage. I was contemplating sending her the proof as payback for how she treated me some months back, although I don't want her boyfriend back. I am now questioning if this is the right thing to do. Should I just leave it alone? -- PAYBACK SOMEWHERE IN THE USA

DEAR PAYBACK: Yes, do it for everyone's sake -- including your own. This cycle of revenge is doing no one any good.



__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

I feel very sorry for thier children.

__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Her husband lost the right to tell her she can't sleep with Ron. That's the magic of divorce.

She, on the other hand, should NOT have slept with her ex if she had no intention of taking him back.

She has no right to fvck with her ex's girlfriend's life.  Aside from their children, she is the most innocent here.

They are both horrible human beings.



-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 11:13:23 AM

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Lexxy


My dog name is Sasha, too!

Status: Offline
Posts: 6679
Date:
Permalink  
 

She has no right to fvck with her ex's girlfriend's life. Aside from their children, she is the most innocent here.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Innocent? Did you miss the part about her sleeping with another woman's husband?

That said, she should just leave the whole stinking pile of shyt alone. Just walk away.

__________________
I know what to do_sometimes


Frozen Sucks!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24384
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lexxy wrote:

She has no right to fvck with her ex's girlfriend's life. Aside from their children, she is the most innocent here.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Innocent? Did you miss the part about her sleeping with another woman's husband?

That said, she should just leave the whole stinking pile of shyt alone. Just walk away.

 She shouldn't seek revenge, but the ex's GF is not innocent, she had an affair with a married man.

 

How about she moves on with what is left of her dignity intact?



__________________

Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

Frozen is the bestest movie ever, NOT!
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

He's an ex. He can screw who he wants to at this point. The LW has no more right to tell him he can't sleep with his girlfriend than he has the right to tell her she can't sleep with Ron.

If she wants that privilege, she can take him back, although, such prohibitions didn't work the first time around.

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

But why did you call her innocent when she was the one cheating with the ex husband?

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:

But why did you call her innocent when she was the one cheating with the ex husband?

 I said most innocent other than their children--meaning more innocent than LW, husband, or Ron.



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

Sorry. She's not innocent at all. Sleeping with a married man is much more wrong than Ron sleeping with his friends ex because you know, she's an ex at that point.

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:

Sorry. She's not innocent at all. Sleeping with a married man is much more wrong than Ron sleeping with his friends ex because you know, she's an ex at that point.

 That is long past history.  If the LW wants to tell her ex who he can and can't sleep with now, she should have stayed married.



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

That's got nothing to do with what you said...lol. Nice try though.



-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 12:54:17 PM

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Plus, we don't know that she knew they were married at the time.

 

hexk, she probably didn't.  Her boyfriend is still hiding his wife from her and they are divorced.



-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 12:55:17 PM

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

So what. She knows now and stayed with him. Backtracking again husker?

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:

So what. She knows now and stayed with him. Backtracking again husker?

 But he's not married now.  Divorced people should never date again?



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

huskerbb wrote:

Plus, we don't know that she knew they were married at the time.

 

hexk, she probably didn't.  Her boyfriend is still hiding his wife from her and they are divorced.



-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 12:55:17 PM

 This makes it sound like she knew -

 

 "I was contemplating sending her the proof as payback for how she treated me some months back, although I don't want her boyfriend back."

 

 



__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:

So what. She knows now and stayed with him. Backtracking again husker?

 But he's not married now.  Divorced people should never date again?

 Yes.  He is.  They are getting divorced, they are not divorced.  AND he slept with his WIFE, which, if known to the court, could squash that divorce in a second.



__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Then she can have him back if that is what she wants.  She made the choice to sleep with him again as much as he did.



-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 12:59:08 PM

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

Yup. Backtracking.

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

I don't see why any woman would want him.

__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Status: Offline
Posts: 38325
Date:
Permalink  
 

Revenge sex can be great during the act.

But the fall out is usually catastrophic.



__________________

A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:

So what. She knows now and stayed with him. Backtracking again husker?

 But he's not married now.  Divorced people should never date again?

 Another instance of husker trying to put words in someone's mouth. This is why I quote him just in case you want to complain about it again flan.



__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:

So what. She knows now and stayed with him. Backtracking again husker?

 But he's not married now.  Divorced people should never date again?

 Another instance of husker trying to put words in someone's mouth. This is why I quote him just in case you want to complain about it again flan.

 Then what is your point?  Now that she knows, it's irrelevant since he is getting divorced.



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

My point was you said she was almost as innocent as the children and you are wrong...lol

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
FNW


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 18703
Date:
Permalink  
 

This is not ending well for anyone. She should be grateful she's not being cheated on by him anymore and move on. Although a part of me would like his girlfriend, the woman who slept with him while he was still with his wife, know of his infidelity on her.

__________________

#it's5o'clocksomewhere
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:

My point was you said she was almost as innocent as the children and you are wrong...lol

 No, I said she was more innocent than the other players here--but even if you disagree, that has NOTHING to do with your comment about her "still being with him after she found out he was married".

 

thats the point I was wondering about.



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

You didn't read the OP because it says right in the OP that the wife wanted to get back at her for how she treated her and she wasn't more innocent than the others. The wife didn't sleep with the friend until after and Ron did not sleep with the wife until it was over either. I guess cheating is ok in your eyes. She's worse because she stayed with him even though she knows he was married. Once a cheat, always a cheat is how it usually goes.



-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 02:31:28 PM

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:

You didn't read the OP because it says right in the OP that the wife wanted to get back at her for how she treated her and she wasn't more innocent than the others. The wife didn't sleep with the friend until after and Ron did not sleep with the wife until it was over either. I guess cheating is ok in your eyes.

 .????  I said that her ex had no control over whether or not she slept with Ron.  

 

Tinydancer=irrelevant tangent



-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 02:32:20 PM

__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

husker=backtracker...lol

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Status: Offline
Posts: 27192
Date:
Permalink  
 

FNW wrote:

This is not ending well for anyone. She should be grateful she's not being cheated on by him anymore and move on. Although a part of me would like his girlfriend, the woman who slept with him while he was still with his wife, know of his infidelity on her.

 You mean with the woman who is still his wife?  LOL. 



__________________

LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

Her husband lost the right to tell her she can't sleep with Ron. That's the magic of divorce.

She, on the other hand, should NOT have slept with her ex if she had no intention of taking him back.

She has no right to fvck with her ex's girlfriend's life. Aside from their children, she is the most innocent here.

They are both horrible human beings.



-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 23rd of December 2015 11:13:23 AM


__________________
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.



Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.




Here's what you said. Keep trying to blame me for the tangent...

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Tinydancer wrote:

husker=backtracker...lol

 I haven't back tracked on anything.  



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Tinydancer


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 6573
Date:
Permalink  
 

Sure you haven't.

__________________

“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.”
― Julia Child ―


 

 

 
FNW


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 18703
Date:
Permalink  
 

Lawyerlady wrote:
FNW wrote:

This is not ending well for anyone. She should be grateful she's not being cheated on by him anymore and move on. Although a part of me would like his girlfriend, the woman who slept with him while he was still with his wife, know of his infidelity on her.

 You mean with the woman who is still his wife?  LOL. 

 Yep.  What comes around....



__________________

#it's5o'clocksomewhere
Lindley


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

Like LL said, I feel sorry for the kids. They have two very immature parents.

__________________
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

Do these people write multiple letters? I hope this isn't the same lady who had unprotected sex with a guy. With everyone sleeping with everyone who knows who has what.

__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
Lindley


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 9186
Date:
Permalink  
 

Truthfully I can't believe those people are real.

__________________
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

Who's your daddy?

__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
flan327


Itty bitty's Grammy

Status: Offline
Posts: 28124
Date:
Permalink  
 

I need a flowchart...or something...

flan

__________________

You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

Or something. But yeah, I'm having a hard time figuring out who is sleeping with who.

__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
flan327


Itty bitty's Grammy

Status: Offline
Posts: 28124
Date:
Permalink  
 

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Or something. But yeah, I'm having a hard time figuring out who is sleeping with who.

 I have to admit I don't really care...so there's that.

flan



__________________

You are my sun, my moon, and all of my stars.
Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Status: Offline
Posts: 24026
Date:
Permalink  
 

flan327 wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

Or something. But yeah, I'm having a hard time figuring out who is sleeping with who.

 I have to admit I don't really care...so there's that.

flan

 Well yeah, there is that.  I can honestly say I don't get the concept of revenge sex.



__________________


“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!”
― Maya Angelou
Dona Worry Be Happy


Vette's SS!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 2297
Date:
Permalink  
 

So she slept with her soon to be ex in order to punish his current gf for being nasty to her some months back, and she is having casual fwb sex with her stbEX's former best friend in order to punish him.
And now she wants to know if she should send proof to the gf in order to end their relationship.

No. She should stop seeing and talking to all of these people and focus on her KIDS.
And maybe in a few months, when she has calmed down some, reenter th e dating scene properly.

__________________
huskerbb


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 10215
Date:
Permalink  
 

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

So she slept with her soon to be ex in order to punish his current gf for being nasty to her some months back, and she is having casual fwb sex with her stbEX's former best friend in order to punish him.
And now she wants to know if she should send proof to the gf in order to end their relationship.

No. She should stop seeing and talking to all of these people and focus on her KIDS.
And maybe in a few months, when she has calmed down some, reenter th e dating scene properly.

 Spot on.



__________________

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

 

Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Dear Abby - Is revenge sex ok?


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard