DEAR ABBY: I will be receiving some money from a court settlement soon. Only five friends were true friends and stood by me. They assisted me during the two years I was totally destitute. They all know I'm involved in a lawsuit and that I will receive compensation.
My question is, should I tell them how much I'm getting? I don't like to lie, but the idea of revealing my monetary status makes me uncomfortable. I never promised any of them money, so that's not an issue. I will cheerfully compensate them all for their loyalty in ongoing daily ways.
What should I do or say when they ask how much I received? I don't want to be perceived as rude. -- UNCERTAIN IN THE SOUTH
DEAR UNCERTAIN: The amount you will be receiving is really nobody's business. It would not be rude to say that you'd prefer not to discuss it because it makes you uncomfortable, and change the subject.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Now, I think that depends. If by "assisted her" means they lent her money, then no, she doesn't need to tell them how much she gets, but she does need to pay them back.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
If they gave her money, then she should have the decency to pay them back. But, no it isn't their business how much she got in a settlement. And, isn't their business that she even got a settlement in the first place.
Letter says she will "cheerfully compensate" them.
So she is obviously planning on giving them something.
It's no one's business how much she gets.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Now, I think that depends. If by "assisted her" means they lent her money, then no, she doesn't need to tell them how much she gets, but she does need to pay them back.
This for sure. I would hope this would be the very first thing she does when she receives the money, if their assistance was in any way monetary. Even if it wasn't, I would buy them all something very nice just because!
Well, she doesn't HAVE to pay them back. They generously offered to help. And, maybe she can't pay them back or doesn't know how much they spend or whatever. But, I do think she needs to make some gesture regarding their generosity.
Letter says she will "cheerfully compensate" them.
So she is obviously planning on giving them something.
It's no one's business how much she gets.
Uhhh, you cut off part of that sentence. It says - "I will cheerfully compensate them all for their loyalty in ongoing daily ways."
To me, that does not sound like she plans to pay them back MONEY.
I missed that earlier.
But it doesn't mean she even owes them anything.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It really depends on what these friends did for her. She certainly shouldn't disclose the full amount of her award. But just because someone didn't give you money doesn't mean it didn't cost them. example would be giving her a place to live, buying her food, giving her rides. She should give look at such help as monetary since it cost the friends money. More than that, having people help you when you are at your lowest low is worth a lot in and of itself.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
