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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Prudie: Pushy Ex
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Dear Prudence,
My husband and I have custody of his three young children, and we also have a 10-month-old girl. Thanks to a healthy divorce settlement, my husband’s ex does not work. The problem is she lives close by and often comes over in the morning to see the kids off to school. She gets in the way as I make breakfast, get the children dressed, and answer calls (I run a business from my home). She helps herself to coffee and makes comments like, “You’re so down-to-earth, living without a hairdresser. I couldn’t do it.” Last week she dropped by on her way to yoga and asked if her new Prada bag was accidentally shipped to my house. She then laughed as my daughter violently dislodged her breakfast all over me. I am so angry about her passive-aggressive tactics. My husband divorced her because of her lying, cheating, and meanness, but he tells me to accept the fact that his kids’ mom will always be around. And I do accept that! But I’m down to my last nerve with her condescending visits. Am I being unreasonable?

—Overbearing and Under Foot

I’m impressed that you’ve resisted the urge to poison her coffee. There is no reason this woman should be at your house every morning. Accepting the fact that your children’s mother will always be a part of their lives does not mean you have to give her a front-row seat to your morning rituals. Having children with a man does not entitle her to check in on his new wife whenever she feels like it. Your husband needs to get on your side. She’s interfering with your ability to work and care for your children in the morning. Tell her if she wants to come by after school when things are less rushed, she can call ahead and ask but that it’s too hectic for her to stop by in the morning. If she continues to show up at your door unannounced, politely but firmly tell her that it’s not a good time, and don’t let her in.

 http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2016/01/dear_prudence_someone_i_hardly_know_asked_me_to_be_his_best_man.html

 

 



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Tinydancer


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Lock the door and don't answer it. Easy peasy.

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lilyofcourse


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Open your mouth and put her in her place.

And if the hubs says anything, put him in his place.

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NAOW


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Why on earth did this ever start?

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Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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She needs to tell her flat out this is disruptive and not working. Isn't there a visitation schedule? And when she just "drops by", don't answer the door.

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Change the locks. Tell husband if he doesn't deal with her, you will, and it might not go well. Maintain the boundaries detailed in the custody/visitation agreement. Easy, really.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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NAOW wrote:

Why on earth did this ever start?

 Yeah how does that even start?



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Lexxy


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This is completely insane. Just tell her this isn't working for you & she will need to stop showing up in the morning.

Honestly this would make for a funny sitcom.

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lilyofcourse


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Or.

Hand her the baby and put her to work the second she walks in.

"Oh am I glad to see you. Here, changer the baby for me, and then this one needs their hair brushed and that one can't find their shoe. Oh there's the phone, finish breakfast for me. Thanks."



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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
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lilyofcourse wrote:

Or.

Hand her the baby and put her to work the second she walks in.

"Oh am I glad to see you. Here, changer the baby for me, and then this one needs their hair brushed and that one can't find their shoe. Oh there's the phone, finish breakfast for me. Thanks."

Yes, this would be a funny way to handle it.   



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Nobody Just Nobody


Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

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Accidentally spill coffee on her Prada purse.

This is crazy. This is what happens when people don't set boundaries.

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haha. My DH had a pushy ex. One time I met her at a party. She must have been a good 6 inches taller than I. Anyway, as soon as we walked into the restaurant, she made a b-line towards us. She introduced herself, and I pretended not to know who she was at first. With a puzzled face, then with my "oh, okay, lightbulb just went off face" I said, "okay, I'm Kathy, nice to meet you." (She had used the divorce settlement money she received from DH to buy a wine store out in CA). She then handed me her business card and said, "I don't expect you to want to keep this, but this is the store I own." I took it and said, "oh, nonsense, I have friends in Manhattan Beach, I'd be happy to let them know about your venture and encourage them to patronize your store!" Then I slipped the card into my purse. She didn't quite know what to say or do, so she just returned to her table where her boyfriend was sitting. DH said she didn't like that. I said, "what, I thought I was being supportive and helpful!" He said, 'you were, which is what she didn't like." I later heard her tell someone she wanted to give them her card, but ran out.

She never bothered us again the rest of the evening. When it comes to pushy people, you just need to get the upper hand, cordially.

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