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ed11563


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Q. Marriage: My husband and I are high school sweethearts; we’ve been together for 13 years and were teen parents. We now have two children. The problem is he has not worked in 10 years. I am the sole income provider, do all the cleaning and cooking, and take care of the kids. He plays games all night and sleeps all day. I am often waiting 30-plus minutes to be picked up from anyplace (I don’t drive). Is it wrong to leave someone I love and get along with who won’t give me the help I’ve asked for in years? I feel very depressed and am not sleeping well. My work is suffering. I am lost and alone.

A: You are not wrong to want to leave. You are already a single parent. This man has watched you struggle to keep your family afloat for the last 10 years, and his response has been to roll over and go back to sleep. Leave, and don’t look back



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Oh hell no!

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WYSIWYG


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Assuming the letter is factual, he's a user and she's an enabler. That actually sounds to me like a perfect match.

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Mellow Momma


Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

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What. The. Heck ?!

Seriously ?!



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Nobody Just Nobody


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WTF? Oh FFS...

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Tangerine


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Dude. Ten years of that?!

Run away.

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Nobody Just Nobody


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Tangerine wrote:

Dude. Ten years of that?!

Run away.

 No chit.



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NAOW


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Kick him out. Here, give me your number and I'll help pack his stuff to put on the lawn.

Why do people put up with this crap?! 10 years?!

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NAOW wrote:

Kick him out. Here, give me your number and I'll help pack his stuff to put on the lawn.

Why do people put up with this crap?! 10 years?!

 Yeah.  Ten months would be too long.



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NAOW


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Dh got into gaming a long time ago. I hated it. There was no way I was putting up with that, and he worked full time too!

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weltschmerz


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Why WOULDN'T he play video games and sleep all day? She allows it.
She's allowed it for ten years.

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She needs to get a driver's license before she leaves.

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Momala


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Duh! You're "lost and alone"? Absolutely! You're his meal ticket, and you're setting a horrible example for your kids!
Go to a driving school, learn, get your own license, and throw the bum out!
At the very least, MAKE him help with the house. No dinner prepared by the time you get home? No nookie!



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Lawyerlady


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Although I'm not usually in favor of ultimatums - it is time for one.

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flan327


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I wonder if she has any family or friends.

Poor thing.

flan

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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And, she can leave and most likely is going to have the joy of having to send him alimony as well. That sucks.

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Lawyerlady


On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

And, she can leave and most likely is going to have the joy of having to send him alimony as well. That sucks.

 That should be offset by the child support he won't pay.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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weltschmerz wrote:

Why WOULDN'T he play video games and sleep all day? She allows it.
She's allowed it for ten years.

 Why wouldn't he?  Because you expect that a man should act like a man.  Yes, she has enabled his behavior over the long haul, but most likely, she had the expectation that he was going to be a stand up guy, but he isn't and never will be.  He chooses to be a bum.  She enables it , but he chooses the behaviors.  She should have been done with him a long time ago.



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huskerbb


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Nope. Will never understand adults who don't get a drivers license--unless they are in an inner city with easy public transportation--not the case here.



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I don't understand how something like this can go on for so long.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Well, young women are very idealistic. So, she met him in HS. Maybe she didnt' have a lot of family support to tell her to dump this bum. And, you really dont' know someone until they have to be responsible adults. So, she probably just assumed he would act like a proper husband and get a job and provide for his family. But, he didn't. She should have figured that out though in short order. Women like to BELIEVE. They want to believe the best, even though there is no evidence of that in reality.

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huskerbb


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, young women are very idealistic. So, she met him in HS. Maybe she didnt' have a lot of family support to tell her to dump this bum. And, you really dont' know someone until they have to be responsible adults. So, she probably just assumed he would act like a proper husband and get a job and provide for his family. But, he didn't. She should have figured that out though in short order. Women like to BELIEVE. They want to believe the best, even though there is no evidence of that in reality.

 She wouldn't likely have listened to family, anyway.



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huskerbb wrote:

Nope. Will never understand adults who don't get a drivers license--unless they are in an inner city with easy public transportation--not the case here.

My public transportation rocks.  No need for a car, car payment, insurance, gas, fix it costs.

I'm in a city, though. 



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weltschmerz


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TrudyML wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Nope. Will never understand adults who don't get a drivers license--unless they are in an inner city with easy public transportation--not the case here.

My public transportation rocks.  No need for a car, car payment, insurance, gas, fix it costs.

I'm in a city, though. 

So does mine. 



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Lawyerlady


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TrudyML wrote:
huskerbb wrote:

Nope. Will never understand adults who don't get a drivers license--unless they are in an inner city with easy public transportation--not the case here.

My public transportation rocks.  No need for a car, car payment, insurance, gas, fix it costs.

I'm in a city, though. 

You still have a license, though, don't you? 



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lilyofcourse


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Knowing how to drive and having a license does not mean you must have a car.

Myself, I can't imagine not being able to go when I was ready.

Having to wait on a ride is one of the most annoying things in life.

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Cheerios4606


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Having mobility is the first step in independence. Whether it be a reliable and easily accessed public transportation, or a car of your own. Without mobility, you are stuck.

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weltschmerz


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Cheerios4606 wrote:

Having mobility is the first step in independence. Whether it be a reliable and easily accessed public transportation, or a car of your own. Without mobility, you are stuck.

When my car gives up the ghost, I may look into Car2Go. 



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