TOTALLY GEEKED!

huskerbb · Guru

Well, I may skip a family wedding...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Wow! Is this your brother's first marriage? When are you going to Europe? Can I come???

flan

TrudyML · Guru

Ugh, I hate that! Hope is works out the way you want.

Bonny22Pye · Guru

If it were me I'd go the wedding and tell your friends that the wedding popped up and since they haven't planned anything everyone will have to pick a different date for Europe.

msrock · Guru

Maybe your brother really doesn't want you there so he planned it for when you'd be gone?

biggrin

TrudyML · Guru

msrock wrote:
Maybe your brother really doesn't want you there so he planned it for when you'd be gone?

They need him for the drinking games!

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Wow! Is this your brother's first marriage? When are you going to Europe? Can I come???

flan

Yeah. his first.

We we were planning on August. The thing is, the dates don't matter nearly as much to us as our friends. We could go in September.

Im irritated they can't get their poop in a group. We had to take them to get passport photos, but so far, they cant be bothered to fill out the application or go to the courthouse.

huskerbb · Guru

msrock wrote:
Maybe your brother really doesn't want you there so he planned it for when you'd be gone?

He may be ambivalent--but mom wants me there.

huskerbb · Guru

Bonny22Pye wrote:
If it were me I'd go the wedding and tell your friends that the wedding popped up and since they haven't planned anything everyone will have to pick a different date for Europe.

That may be the answer--but I'd really like to travel with friends if we can.

Tinydancer · Guru

How can you tear your family apart this way? There is NO excuse for not going to a family wedding. You told us so...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Which is more important?

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Husker, your friends sound like they might annoy you all across Europe with their procrastination-tendencies. Are you sure they're the ones you and your wife want to take such a big trip with?

huskerbb · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
Which is more important?

When it comes right down to it, the wedding is more important--but I don't want to be the one to bail on what I said I'd do if they follow through.

We can go to Europe other dates. It's just that we did plan on going with this group of friends.

FNW · Guru

I'm with Bonnye. If no firm trip plans have been made, and your friends are dragging their feet, I'd put my brother's wedding first.

huskerbb · Guru

Honeys_Mom wrote:
Husker, your friends sound like they might annoy you all across Europe with their procrastination-tendencies. Are you sure they're the ones you and your wife want to take such a big trip with?

But once they are over there, they'll have to keep up. My buddy won't let them piddle around like they do here. He'll have a tight schedule. It's just that he lives in another town, so he doesn't have to put up with it as much.

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
I'm with Bonnye. If no firm trip plans have been made, and your friends are dragging their feet, I'd put my brother's wedding first.

I guess what I'm thinking is giving them until March 1st to have some "skin" in the game, so to speak. Either have airline tickets bought, or deposits down on some VRBO's, etc... So that they have some financial incentive to follow through.

If they can't do SOMETHING by that time, then my guess is they won't go, anyway.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Good plan, husker.

Hope they get their act together. Can you tell them about your concerns?

flan

Tinydancer · Guru

Why is it ok for you to miss the wedding because you're going on a trip that's not even finalized yet but skipping a wedding because the bride was a beotch to your kid is not ok? You have some strange ideas about family.

huskerbb · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Good plan, husker.

Hope they get their act together. Can you tell them about your concerns?

flan

Oh believe me, I have. I sent them an email even before the wedding came up telling them they needed to get their sh!t together. One of them replied whining about not having any time (when she has almost nothing to do outside of work). The others didn't even reply.

my wife and I bring it up with them every week.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Why is it ok for you to miss the wedding because you're going on a trip that's not even finalized yet but skipping a wedding because the bride was a beotch to your kid is not ok? You have some strange ideas about family.

Where did I say anything about skipping a wedding being "ok"?

You must need reading glasses, or fewer delusions.

Tangerine · Guru

Your friends suck.

They seem like the kind of people who will make you miss your tour of the Louvre because it took them two hours to put on socks and shoes.

Tinydancer · Guru

So it's not ok but you're going to Europe any way. Unless you've changed your mind about the trip and you're going to the wedding instead.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 27th of January 2016 01:07:00 PM

huskerbb · Guru

Tangerine wrote:
Your friends suck.

They seem like the kind of people who will make you miss your tour of the Louvre because it took them two hours to put on socks and shoes.

They are trying. Need a kidney, or help burying a body, though, and they'd be there--late, but they'd be there.

oh, and I meant trying as in they try your patience, not as in they try hard to get their act together and follow through on plans.

-- Edited by huskerbb on Wednesday 27th of January 2016 01:09:42 PM

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
So it's not ok but you're going to Europe any way. Unless you've changed your mind about the trip and you're going to the wedding instead.

-- Edited by Tinydancer on Wednesday 27th of January 2016 01:07:00 PM

You must have trouble with reading comprehension.

Tinydancer · Guru

You must not follow your own rules about family weddings...lol

Tinydancer · Guru

You kept telling us how it would be our fault for tearing the family apart for not going to a beotches wedding yet you'll skip out on your brothers wedding for a trip that hasn't even been finalized and I'm the one delusions. You are hilarious.

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
You must not follow your own rules about family weddings...lol

I absolutely have.

Tinydancer · Guru

Nope. You'll tear your family apart...

huskerbb · Guru

Tinydancer wrote:
Nope. You'll tear your family apart...

If I don't go. That has not been decided.

huskerbb · Guru

The other thing is, they've really only been dating 3 months--less, actually.

Wouldnt that be a kicker if we don't go to Europe and they break up between now and then?

FNW · Guru

Personally, I didn't clear my wedding date with my brother. I sent him the date and expected him to come, hell or high water. And he did. So you told your family you were going to Europe in August. Was he to assume you would be gone the entire month? One week? Two? Perhaps August was the only time they could get the location/minister, etc. Or due to their jobs or school?

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
Personally, I didn't clear my wedding date with my brother. I sent him the date and expected him to come, hell or high water. And he did. So you told your family you were going to Europe in August. Was he to assume you would be gone the entire month? One week? Two? Perhaps August was the only time they could get the location/minister, etc. Or due to their jobs or school?

I told him the dates we would be gone. There were two weekends still open that month. She has no job (whole nuther issue), and he farms, so he can be pretty flexible.

FNW · Guru

Does his fiance like you and your wife?

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

No reservations have been made? No tickets bought? No time off slips submitted?

Sooo, just change the date you go to Europe.

Call your buddy that is making the itinerary, and explain the situation. Either you guys can still go together on a different date, or you and your wife go before or after and just overlap one end, or you take entirely different times.
Either way, not the end of the world.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

huskerbb wrote:
Honeys_Mom wrote:
Husker, your friends sound like they might annoy you all across Europe with their procrastination-tendencies. Are you sure they're the ones you and your wife want to take such a big trip with?
But once they are over there, they'll have to keep up. My buddy won't let them piddle around like they do here. He'll have a tight schedule. It's just that he lives in another town, so he doesn't have to put up with it as much.

Plus your more recent description of these same friends is very sweet - good people do procrastinate, too.

I vote for definitely trying to attend brother's wedding as an important life event, regardless of the seemingly haphazard planning on their part.

I'm concerned with the "only since November"... did I read that right?

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
No reservations have been made? No tickets bought? No time off slips submitted?

Sooo, just change the date you go to Europe.

Call your buddy that is making the itinerary, and explain the situation. Either you guys can still go together on a different date, or you and your wife go before or after and just overlap one end, or you take entirely different times.
Either way, not the end of the world.

We can change--our friends can't.

huskerbb · Guru

Honeys_Mom wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Honeys_Mom wrote:
Husker, your friends sound like they might annoy you all across Europe with their procrastination-tendencies. Are you sure they're the ones you and your wife want to take such a big trip with?
But once they are over there, they'll have to keep up. My buddy won't let them piddle around like they do here. He'll have a tight schedule. It's just that he lives in another town, so he doesn't have to put up with it as much.
Plus your more recent description of these same friends is very sweet - good people do procrastinate, too.
I vote for definitely trying to attend brother's wedding as an important life event, regardless of the seemingly haphazard planning on their part.
I'm concerned with the "only since November"... did I read that right?

Yeah, just since November. im not sure shes even seen grumpy brother make an appearance.

Dona Worry Be Happy · Vette's SS!!

huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
No reservations have been made? No tickets bought? No time off slips submitted?

Sooo, just change the date you go to Europe.

Call your buddy that is making the itinerary, and explain the situation. Either you guys can still go together on a different date, or you and your wife go before or after and just overlap one end, or you take entirely different times.
Either way, not the end of the world.
We can change--our friends can't.

Then you won't get to go together. Unfortunate, but Europe will still be loads of fun.

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
Does his fiance like you and your wife?

I think so, but in all honesty, we don't know her well since the relationship has been so short. We knew her before they started dating, but didn't really have any interactions.

huskerbb · Guru

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
No reservations have been made? No tickets bought? No time off slips submitted?

Sooo, just change the date you go to Europe.

Call your buddy that is making the itinerary, and explain the situation. Either you guys can still go together on a different date, or you and your wife go before or after and just overlap one end, or you take entirely different times.
Either way, not the end of the world.
We can change--our friends can't.
Then you won't get to go together. Unfortunate, but Europe will still be loads of fun.

And that's probably the answer--but im still going to be mad and pout.

FNW · Guru

Tell him you'll go to his next wedding.

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
Tell him you'll go to his next wedding.

Ha!

In reality, I'm worried I will nix the Europe trip and the wedding won't happen, Anyway.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Interesting. You'd skip a family wedding for a trip with friends that you haven't even bought tickets for but not for the bride treating your child badly? Nice priorities you have there.

Since family is soooooo important to you - this should be a no brainer. Go to the wedding.

NAOW · Vette's SS

I don't know, I think it's kind of crappy of him to pick a date during your vacation, since it sounds like he definitely knew the dates ahead of time. Unless there is a reason to have that specific date why can't they pick another time?

I know it's kind of a fine line, but if it were my sister and I knew of an important event coming up in her life (like a trip to Europe) I would make sure the dates worked for her. You can't do that for everyone, but your immediate family and dates that you know about and are in your control to move around, I would do it.

On the other hand, if they have a reason for that date (like it was her grandparents anniversary or something) then I understand them planning it anyway. But they would have to be ok with knowing you might not make it then.

FNW · Guru

What are Mrs. Husker's thoughts on this dilemma?

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
What are Mrs. Husker's thoughts on this dilemma?

About the same as mine. Shes frustrated they picked a date knowing we were planning on being gone--but she's also fearful that if we plan for Europe, our friends will not get their act together and end up not going.

i could actually see them buying airline tickets, and then having to get their passport applications expedited because it's July and they haven't done sh!t.

FNW · Guru

Sounds like both events have the possibility of falling through. I think I would tell the friends the situation and let them know you'll meet up with them after the wedding. There will be festivities leading up to the big event that you'll want to be around for, too, like the bachelor party, shower (for the Mrs.), rehearsal dinner, etc.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
No reservations have been made? No tickets bought? No time off slips submitted?

Sooo, just change the date you go to Europe.

Call your buddy that is making the itinerary, and explain the situation. Either you guys can still go together on a different date, or you and your wife go before or after and just overlap one end, or you take entirely different times.
Either way, not the end of the world.
We can change--our friends can't.
Then you won't get to go together. Unfortunate, but Europe will still be loads of fun.
And that's probably the answer--but im still going to be mad and pout.

And he admits to pouting, LOL! biggrin biggrin biggrin

Real men DO pout, but they rarely admit it.

huskerbb · Guru

FNW wrote:
Sounds like both events have the possibility of falling through. I think I would tell the friends the situation and let them know you'll meet up with them after the wedding. There will be festivities leading up to the big event that you'll want to be around for, too, like the bachelor party, shower (for the Mrs.), rehearsal dinner, etc.

They will be home by the time we could leave.

Theres es just no compromise here, really. it's an either/or

huskerbb · Guru

Honeys_Mom wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
huskerbb wrote:
Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
No reservations have been made? No tickets bought? No time off slips submitted?

Sooo, just change the date you go to Europe.

Call your buddy that is making the itinerary, and explain the situation. Either you guys can still go together on a different date, or you and your wife go before or after and just overlap one end, or you take entirely different times.
Either way, not the end of the world.
We can change--our friends can't.
Then you won't get to go together. Unfortunate, but Europe will still be loads of fun.
And that's probably the answer--but im still going to be mad and pout.
And he admits to pouting, LOL!
Real men DO pout, but they rarely admit it.

I can pout and sulk like none other.