TOTALLY GEEKED!

THe parents sound like a piece of work. Poor girl. They are more concerned with hurting each other than co parenting.

Taking for a day is one thing.
Taking it and KEEPING it is entirely another.
Give it back, dad, you are wrong.

Taking it as far as to no longer have a relationship with his daughter was stupid. Now her bat sh!t crazy mom is the only parent in her life.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Which one pays the bill?

That's the one who has the right to take the phone.

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 I wondered that too. One story I found said that the mom paid for the phone, maintained the account in her name and all that.

 

 

If that's the case, I think he should have explained why he took it and gave it back to the mom.

 

 

We've never had this problem with SS's phone. My ex bought my son a phone when he was younger and I took it away. He didn't even ask me.

DemoniaD wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Which one pays the bill?

That's the one who has the right to take the phone.

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 I wondered that too. One story I found said that the mom paid for the phone, maintained the account in her name and all that.

 

 

If that's the case, I think he should have explained why he took it and gave it back to the mom.

 

 

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The father has as much right to parent as he sees fit as the mother. IMHO, dad was right. 

just Czech wrote:

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DemoniaD wrote:

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lilyofcourse wrote:

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Which one pays the bill?

That's the one who has the right to take the phone.

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 I wondered that too. One story I found said that the mom paid for the phone, maintained the account in her name and all that.

 

 

If that's the case, I think he should have explained why he took it and gave it back to the mom.

 

 

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The father has as much right to parent as he sees fit as the mother. IMHO, dad was right. 

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 Not anymore.  

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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The only reason it got so far is because the mom remarried and is married to a cop.

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 That may be true--but knowing that doesn't change what now IS.  

He has no relationship with his daughter--and crazy mom and the cop are raising her without his input.  Is that the goal?  

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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The only reason it got so far is because the mom remarried and is married to a cop.

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 That may be true--but knowing that doesn't change what now IS.  

He has no relationship with his daughter--and crazy mom and the cop are raising her without his input.  Is that the goal?  

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 I have a feeling the way these two go that would have been the final result phone or no phone.

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 Well, he'd always have to deal with the ex.  That's just they way it is when you choose to have children with someone and not raise them together--as in the same damn house.

However, he could have at least had some relationship with his daughter and had SOME influence on her.  

If he bought and paid for the phone, he can take it away. If she bought and paid for the phone, he can take it away while the daugther is at his house, but give it back to her when she leaves. It really isn't rocket science.

Dad was right in the parenting department, and he had every right to take it away while she was there. He then should have given the phone to mom when he dropped off the kid and explained the situation, and then she should have backed up the punishment at home. Refusing the give back the phone to mom was where he went wrong.

But if mom was completely unconcerned about inappropriate texting, then he's the better parent.

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

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We also don't know what she was texting. He said he considered it rude, but what does that mean?

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 That doesn't really matter.  He's the dad.  It's his opinion that counts when he is parenting her.

Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:

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We also don't know what she was texting. He said he considered it rude, but what does that mean?

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 That doesn't really matter.  He's the dad.  It's his opinion that counts when he is parenting her.

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 Oh, mom still should have backed him up-- but they needed to agree on for how long to keep the phone away, and, for future reference,  what actually constituted a punishable offense. 

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 Well, it doesn't sound like they are capable of co-parenting together.

Those who have never dealt with an ex and Co parenting have no real idea how it ends up being.

lilyofcourse wrote:

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Those who have never dealt with an ex and Co parenting have no real idea how it ends up being.

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 This.  And the way the law reads in TX, which is where this case is, is that your child has to be accessible to the other parent.  That only means there has to be a phone available for the child to talk to the other parent.  It doesn't promise them a phone of their own.  We take SS's phone away when he comes to our house.  His grandma will text him at one and two in the morning.  We have a land line and each of us have a cell so she can call him at a decent hour on any of those lines.  You also can't refuse to let your child talk to the other parent while they are with you.  HOWEVER, the courts will rule in your favor if the other parent calls a hundred times a day or late at night.  Phone issues are one of the biggest issues that the step parent board talks about.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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If i paid for the one and an ex took it i would be pissed.

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 WE bought the phone and pay for it.  BUT, we take it away when he comes here because he doesn't need it.  He can call his mom on the landline or dad or my cell anytime he wants.  He has never asked to call his grandma but if he did we would let him.  On the land line.  We have never kept him from the phone when either his mom or his grandma called him here at our house.  So he doesn't need his cell phone here.  There are multiple phones available for him.  And if his grandma called him on the phone at two am we would not wake him up unless it was an emergency.  There is no reason for her to be texting him at one and two am.  As parents we complain our kids are tired and too attached to the phone all the time and then we allow texting all night long so we really have no one to blame.  He's 11.  He has plenty enough of his life left to spend on the phone.

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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If i paid for the one and an ex took it i would be pissed.

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 WE bought the phone and pay for it.  BUT, we take it away when he comes here because he doesn't need it.  He can call his mom on the landline or dad or my cell anytime he wants.  He has never asked to call his grandma but if he did we would let him.  On the land line.  We have never kept him from the phone when either his mom or his grandma called him here at our house.  So he doesn't need his cell phone here.  There are multiple phones available for him.  And if his grandma called him on the phone at two am we would not wake him up unless it was an emergency.  There is no reason for her to be texting him at one and two am.  As parents we complain our kids are tired and too attached to the phone all the time and then we allow texting all night long so we really have no one to blame.  He's 11.  He has plenty enough of his life left to spend on the phone.

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 And, that's fine.  Your house your rules.  ANd, if you bought and pay for the phone, then you have control over it.  If the ex bought and paid for a phone for the child, then the other parent doesn't have a right to confiscate it and keep it.  Yes, keep it during visits but give it back when leaving.