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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Harriette: Boyfriend beats Mom
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Harriette: Boyfriend beats Mom
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DEAR HARRIETTE: I live with my mom in Arizona. This would be fine, except that I don't care for her new boyfriend. He's very sarcastic, mean and angry. Every little thing my mom does wrong, she either gets cursed out or hit. I try to be the mediator in their arguments, but it just results in her boyfriend telling me to "stay in a child's place" and my mom yelling at me because I've "made him angrier." In two years, I'll finally be out of this house, but I don't want to leave my mom. How do I get her to see that this guy isn't "everything" and that he's no good for her? I want to help my mom, but she's not making this any easier. I want her to come with me so bad. What's worse is that I think she's pregnant. She's showing all the symptoms, and her boyfriend's been nicer lately. I honestly don't think a child should be brought into this, but my mom doesn't hear me. How can I get her to see that she doesn't have to settle for this? There's so much more to life. So many opportunities have gone down the drain due to her running behind this man. I just want her back to how she was before she even met him. -- Saving Mom, Dallas

DEAR SAVING MOM: You can tell your mother how much you love her and that you wish she would join you when you leave. You can also tell her that you want her to be happy, and that she deserves to be happy. You cannot force her to do anything, though.



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ed11563


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I suspect that both Mom and the LW need to start going to Al-Anon meetings.

 

What do you think would happen if this teenager (16?) called the police every time the boyfriend hit the mom?

 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Harriette gave a horrible response. No, the daughter shouldn't just ignore this . She needs to go to a teacher or call some relatives or the police and report what is happening. The daughter needs to be removed from the home and go live with relatives. If mom wants to stay, then i guess she can but she doesnt' get to subject her daughter to this.

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just Czech


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She's 16, she can call the police herself and report the domestic violence, duh.
The advice was worthless.

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So the advice was "suck it up until you can move" ???? Worst. Advice. Ever.

Tell a trusted adult at school or church, a neighbor, a friend's parent etc. Call the police from your room when it's happening. And if you have to and you can, leave now. Find a friend whose parents will let you stay with them and move out now. I would take this girl in without question.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Exactly. Horrible advice!!!

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lilyofcourse


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What???

Call the police.

Each and every time.

Call enough, CPS will get involved.

But in the meantime, things will most likely get worse.

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huskerbb


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Wow. That poor kid.



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Lindley


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Another situation where having a boyfriend is more important then their child. Poor kid.

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This is horrible advice. However, in our state, your spouse can hit on you all they want and as long as he is not hitting the kids the state won't do a damn thing. I know this from experience. CPS has gone out on SS's mom all the time. They continue to say the kids are being abused so they can't step in. Meanwhile the kids are constantly watching the abuse and learning subtle lessons. So in some ways the advice wasn't all that off. And she can't make her mom leave. As long her mom wants to stay she will. The best thing anyone ever told me when I was married was "You deserve more. You deserve better than this." If you attack the husband then she will just defend him. If you question her motives for staying she will defend them. Just keep telling her you love her and want more for her life. She may hear it and she may not.

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