DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have been together for years. I love her dearly and can't imagine my life without her. The one thing my wife wanted more than anything was a baby. A couple of months after the wedding, she wound up pregnant. She was so excited. I'm forever grateful that I was able to give her that. I attended every pregnancy class, checkup, sonogram, etc. I shopped with her for the nursery, put up the crib and painted the room. I stayed throughout the entire baby shower. I stayed by her side all 22 hours of labor. So I should be as excited and happy about this baby as she is, right? I mean, I damn near carried it myself. I thought that by attending all these things and doing so much for the baby, I'd get closer to him. He's a beautiful baby boy. I don't feel like I love this child, and I can't figure out why ... I want to, but I just can't. How do I come to love my son? I've accepted him and do everything I can, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. -- How to Love, Wilmington, Delaware
DEAR HOW TO LOVE: You may never fall in love with your son the way that mothers often do with their children. Stop worrying about that. Instead, focus on your role, which is to guide and nurture him to become a strong, self-sufficient, sensitive and sensible man. You can also pray for your heart to soften along the way.
I'll have to admit, I wasn't head over heals for my babies instantly. It wasn't a "love at first sight" thing for me. Once they were home and I started caring for them, they grew on me. I wish I had held them more as babies, but I really didn't know what to do. It was the most drastic lifestyle change in my life and took me a long time to adapt.
