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ed11563


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Not my problem, not my monkey…
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Not my problem, not my monkey…

 

My company recently held two national training meetings for the sales people, about 5 weeks apart.

 

At the first meeting, a young woman came up to me, clearly really excited, hugged me, and introduced herself.

She had worked in Customer Service for about a year, and we had spoken several times when I needed help from Customer Service. Now she's in sales.

 

 

During a brief conversation,  she told me four times that "I have a boyfriend!!!"

 

She said it like she was incredulous, like as a pretty 23 year old, this was something she thought she would never accomplish and she was super excited and proud.

 

Okay. Moving on …

 

5 weeks later at the second meeting, I was walking into a room while she -- and her boyfriend -- walked out of the room. She came up to me and said, "Ed, This is my boyfriend!!! We vacationed here (Orlando) all week, and he's leaving now for Bahrain. "

 

Introductions over, he turned and left, then she turned and I saw something I wish I hadn't seen.

 

Her clothing was form-fitting, and either she'd gained 20 pounds, all right around her belly button, or …

 

it was a baby bump.

 

Summary…

 

She's 23, with a boyfriend who just left North America for at least a couple of months …

and she appears to be pregnant.

 

Not my monkey, not my problem. Right?

 

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

 



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Tangerine


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You think a coworker you barely know is pregnant.

Definitely none of your concern.

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Fort Worth Mom


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Stay out of it, ed.

JMHO.



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flan327


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ed, you have a good heart.

IF (and only if) she wants to talk, listen without getting involved.

flan

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just Czech


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The title to your thread is right. Not your monkey.

I agree, you do have a good heart, but..

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lilyofcourse


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She's 23. It's none of your business.

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I don't see what the big deal is. It's not of your business, but just from what you posted I don't think it's anything to be alarmed about either.

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just Czech


Give Me Grand's!

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Question: Why have you invested yourself in this young lady's "possible" pregnancy?

In my book, this would fall under MYOB.

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OK?

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I know what to do_sometimes


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Stay out of it!

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Offer to pay for her abortion!

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I know what to do_sometimes


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Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

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ed11563


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 



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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.

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lilyofcourse


My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

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Why even do that?

Stay out of it.


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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Sorry but a 20something pregnant woman doesnt want to talk to some older man she doesnt even know.

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Lawyerlady


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ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 



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flan327


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Why even do that?

Stay out of it.

 Because it's what a good person would do.

flan



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flan327


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Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 

 So maybe she sees him as a father figure. And he's a good listener.

flan



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Lawyerlady


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flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 

 So maybe she sees him as a father figure. And he's a good listener.

flan

She doesn't even know him.  



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LawyerLady

 

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. 
ed11563


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Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 

 So maybe she sees him as a father figure. And he's a good listener.

flan

She doesn't even know him.  

Yet she was SOOOO EXCITED to meet me .... 



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Lawyerlady


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ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 

 So maybe she sees him as a father figure. And he's a good listener.

flan

She doesn't even know him.  

Yet she was SOOOO EXCITED to meet me .... 

 Uh huh. 



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LawyerLady

 

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lilyofcourse


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And yet she didn't tell you she was pregnant, you've just assumed she is.

I think you are creating a connection that isn't really there.

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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.

Charley Harper
flan327


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Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 

 So maybe she sees him as a father figure. And he's a good listener.

flan

She doesn't even know him.  

 How do you get to know someone? By talking to them.

flan



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Lawyerlady


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flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
ed11563 wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

Ed, with her BF not around and you acting like her "I'LL take care of you" guy, she will ask you constantly for help. It won't stop at money, rides to the doctor, crying on your shoulder. You have to stop now.

She lives and works 1000 miles away. 

All I might be able to offer is someone who would listen.

 

 Some older married guy is not who she should be talking to. 

 So maybe she sees him as a father figure. And he's a good listener.

flan

She doesn't even know him.  

 How do you get to know someone? By talking to them.

flan

 There is absolutely no reason for a young, single 23 year old co-worker to be spending personal time with an older married male co-worker.  



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LawyerLady

 

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Lexxy


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Ed you are a really nice guy but do not get yourself involved in this. And who knows, she may have just gained that happily in a relationship weight that many people do. You know the going out to dinner together or lounging around watching a movie instead of going to the gym weight. It isn't uncommon.

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FNW


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Stay clear. I think your attachment to her is creepy, too.

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Mary Zombie


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Why is it on your radar of something to even think about?
Unless I missed something?

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Cheerios4606


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I am missing the point as well. A coworker is possibly pregnant. So where is the problem?

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Bonny22Pye


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I would stay far away from this. It could go from innocent to HR issue super fast.

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Cheerios4606 wrote:

I am missing the point as well. A coworker is possibly pregnant. So where is the problem?

 I am stuck there as well. 

And Ed, women my age use the phrase excited loosely.  I have probably said 'I am so excited to finally meet you!" three times in the last week. It is just a thing, don't read i to it. 



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Lexxy wrote:

Ed you are a really nice guy but do not get yourself involved in this. And who knows, she may have just gained that happily in a relationship weight that many people do. You know the going out to dinner together or lounging around watching a movie instead of going to the gym weight. It isn't uncommon.

 When DN moved in with her b/f she got a pooch.  We teased her about having a baby bump.  A year later and there's still no baby.



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Dona Worry Be Happy wrote:
Cheerios4606 wrote:

I am missing the point as well. A coworker is possibly pregnant. So where is the problem?

 I am stuck there as well. 

And Ed, women my age use the phrase excited loosely.  I have probably said 'I am so excited to finally meet you!" three times in the last week. It is just a thing, don't read i to it. 

 Yes, upbeat, peppy talk (with words like awesome!, excited!, wonderful!) is totally normal. Sorry, it doesn't mean she has singled you out at all.



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flan327


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FNW wrote:

Stay clear. I think your attachment to her is creepy, too.

 What "attachment?"

They had spoken on the phone & met at a sales meeting. He expressed concern after their second meeting.

flan



-- Edited by flan327 on Tuesday 9th of February 2016 06:32:44 AM

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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flan327 wrote:
FNW wrote:

Stay clear. I think your attachment to her is creepy, too.

 What "attachment?"

They had spoken on the phone & met at a sales meeting. He expressed concern after their second meeting.

flan



-- Edited by flan327 on Tuesday 9th of February 2016 06:32:44 AM

  It isnt any of his business whatsoever.



-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Tuesday 9th of February 2016 06:51:29 AM

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Well, I am not really sure why Ed is assuming this is a "problem" in the first place. She's a grown woman. Lots of woman are single and have babies. Not sure what is to be done here exactly?

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ed11563


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Well, I am not really sure why Ed is assuming this is a "problem" in the first place. She's a grown woman. Lots of woman are single and have babies. Not sure what is to be done here exactly?

Nothing to be done. Not my circus, not my monkey. 

I was just surprised by some of her life choices.

 

Done and dusted, thank you very much.

 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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A young adult woman getting pregnant? What a shocker!

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