DEAR ABBY: My son is more than likely going to win a trip to the Dominican Republic through his employer. He's planning to take his wife with him. Their two children will stay with me or their other grandma.
With the way the world is now, I wouldn't go on a vacation with my husband, fly to another country and leave my children behind. I would let him go alone so that in case something happens, my kids would have at least one parent left.
I understand that we should not give in to fear and give up what we like to do, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't take logical precautions. My children would be more important to me than a vacation. What is your opinion on this? -- LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD
DEAR LIVING: My opinion is that you should stay out of it, and let your son and daughter-in-law enjoy that hard-earned vacation. If they were visiting a country where the threat level was high, I might think differently. However, to repeat what you said in your letter, "we should not give in to fear and give up what we like to do" because we are afraid of what "might" happen. That's not living; it is hiding.
I'd be concerned but I'd be thrilled for them too.
Anything can happen when you travel.
But anything can happen at home too.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I tell myself that all the time. Its just that you can get to them quicker if something (God forbid) happens and you wouldn't have to deal with international laws. Also a terrorist attack happened two miles from where they live.
I tell myself that all the time. Its just that you can get to them quicker if something (God forbid) happens and you wouldn't have to deal with international laws. Also a terrorist attack happened two miles from where they live.
I tell myself that all the time. Its just that you can get to them quicker if something (God forbid) happens and you wouldn't have to deal with international laws. Also a terrorist attack happened two miles from where they live.
My parents don't have passports so they would not be able to get to me if I were in trouble.
I didn't have a passport when my dd went to India to live for two years. My husband had one and I got mine later. I think you could get one in a emergency I think.
I left the country and lived overseas for 2 years. Being young, I never gave any thought to how my mother felt about it, but she never discouraged me, either.
I have no idea how I'll feel if either DD decides they want to do that. Although, I'm pretty sure it would be Baby J over DD11. She is much more independent and adventurous.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
You never stop being a parent no matter how old your kids get. Yes you can't live their life or prevent them from making their own decisions. It doesn't mean you don't have concerns.
You never stop being a parent no matter how old your kids get. Yes you can't live their life or prevent them from making their own decisions. It doesn't mean you don't have concerns.
I know. I'm a parent. "Concerns" does NOT mean "don't go".
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
I have heard this for years. Couples who would not travel on the same air carrier, etc. Not any safer nor any more dangerous now than in the past.
What about a stage coach ride 150 years ago or sothrough the West with Indians and Bandits to worry about. (Hope I am not being too politically incorrect here....)
I have heard this for years. Couples who would not travel on the same air carrier, etc. Not any safer nor any more dangerous now than in the past. What about a stage coach ride 150 years ago or sothrough the West with Indians and Bandits to worry about. (Hope I am not being too politically incorrect here....)
Karl, when our children were little, and Wayne and I were flying to a company paid convention, we would take different flights.
Wayne would land first. Get our luggage. Snag the rental car.
I would land about an hour later. And off we'd go.
We stopped flying together, after a very bad flight, that nearly went down.
It scared us both, half to death.
We took separate flights, for a long time, after that happened.
You never stop being a parent no matter how old your kids get. Yes you can't live their life or prevent them from making their own decisions. It doesn't mean you don't have concerns.
I know. I'm a parent. "Concerns" does NOT mean "don't go".
She is keeping their kids and no where does the LW say "don't go"
You never stop being a parent no matter how old your kids get. Yes you can't live their life or prevent them from making their own decisions. It doesn't mean you don't have concerns.
I know. I'm a parent. "Concerns" does NOT mean "don't go".
She is keeping their kids and no where does the LW say "don't go"
She said either she, or the other grandparents will watch the children.
And, from the tone of her letter, she was hoping that Abby would back her up, on not taking this vacation together.
You never stop being a parent no matter how old your kids get. Yes you can't live their life or prevent them from making their own decisions. It doesn't mean you don't have concerns.
I know. I'm a parent. "Concerns" does NOT mean "don't go".
She is keeping their kids and no where does the LW say "don't go"
What??? Read the letter. She absolutely doesn't want them to go.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Of course she doesn't want them to go, I didn't want my dd to go. She wrote her letter hoping to hear Abby agreed with her.
I'm just saying that I know how she feels.
It's a vacation. She needs to get a grip. Her "concerns" are misguided and ridiculous. It's a resort in the Dominican, not the middle of Syria or even some Mexican city overrun by drug cartels.
Sure, "anything" can happen, but you could get hit by a truck going to work, too, but she wouldn't expect them to not go there.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
I would be THRILLED for my kids if they were able to take a vacation like this for free! How many people get such an opportunity? And what husband would want to go somewhere like that (not a guys trip to Vegas or a fishing/hunting trip) alone or without his wife? Thats really a couples vacation destination.
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
My dad forbid everyone in the household to go downtown chicago. Why? Cuz he fears the horrors of the city. ARe there horrors? Yep. ARe there bad things that happen? Yep. But to kick your 20 year old out of the house because her friend took her to Chicago for a surprise birthday lunch is a bit overboard.
Same in this situation. If you are paralyzed in fear of traveling outside the country, that is one thing. But to think you can insist everyone else adopt your irrational fear is another. Offer a concern to them if you must, but then once you have said your peace, shut the pie hole!
