TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Christian Jokes

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Funny.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Drawing a picture of Jesus

A kindergarten teacher was walking around her classroom while her students drew pictures. One little girl was scribbling so intently that the teacher asked what she was drawing. The little girl replied, “I’m drawing a picture of Jesus.” The teacher said, “Oh honey, nobody really knows for sure what Jesus looked like.” The little girl, without missing a beat, responded, “They will in a minute.”

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

When Your Pastor Stops by for a Visit

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card that had printed “Revelation 3:20” on the back of it for just such an occasion, and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned.

Added to it was this cryptic message, “Genesis 3:10.” Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins “Behold, I stand at the door and knock.” Genesis 3:10 reads, “I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.”

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Sunday 21st of February 2016 06:27:23 PM

Tangerine · Guru

Those are cute, lily.

weltschmerz · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

weltschmerz wrote:

Really?

weltschmerz · Guru

What?
It's a Christian joke, no?
AS PER THE THREAD TITLE.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

weltschmerz wrote:
What?
It's a Christian joke, no?
AS PER THE THREAD TITLE.

Only Christians are allowed to post?

flan

weltschmerz · Guru

flan327 wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
What?
It's a Christian joke, no?
AS PER THE THREAD TITLE.
Only Christians are allowed to post?
flan

I think so.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Really?

Are you surprised?

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

We can start a heathen joke thread...

flan

weltschmerz · Guru

lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Really?
Are you surprised?

Look, did you want jokes or not? Make up your mind.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Do you need the Bible verse that explains the joke?

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Really?
Are you surprised?
Look, did you want jokes or not? Make up your mind.

Well, I think its funny!

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Ohfour wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Really?
Are you surprised?
Look, did you want jokes or not? Make up your mind.
Well, I think its funny!

You would! I just consider the messenger I guess.

weltschmerz · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Really?
Are you surprised?
Look, did you want jokes or not? Make up your mind.
Well, I think its funny!
You would! I just consider the messenger I guess.

You think it's disrespectful, or something? Isn't this yours?

"OMFG!" from the snark thread. Even I don't say that. It's disrespectful.

-- Edited by weltschmerz on Sunday 21st of February 2016 07:19:29 PM

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Ohfour wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Really?
Are you surprised?
Look, did you want jokes or not? Make up your mind.
Well, I think its funny!

I think it's funny, too!

Granted, I never did online dating.

I was married, long before the computer age. wink

But, when I see commercials for Christian Mingle, or what ever it's called...I do kind of think of this. biggrin

(Folks, it's a joke thread. Don't look for offense, where none was intended, please!)

IMHO, it's just a joke.

huskerbb · Guru

Ok, so this guy goes to heaven and St. Peter is going to show him around.

So, they come to the first room, and everyone inside is praying the rosary and saying their Hail Mary's. St. Peters says "that's the Catholic room", to which the guy replies "oh, ok, that makes sense."

They then get to the second room and St. Peter opens the door and the guy observes a bunch of people raising their hands and loudly shouting "Praise the Lord", "Can I get an Amen", "Praise Jesus", etc... St. Peter says "that's the Baptist room". Again, the guy says that is understandable.

As they are coming to the third room, St. Peter tells the guy "ok, we are coming to the third room, and you must be very, very quiet" to which the guy naturally asks "why"? St. Peter replies, "well, we are coming up to the Lutheran room, and they think they are the only ones here."

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

A hunter is out hunting bear in the woods. He sees one, lines up his sights, takes a shot, and misses. The bear sees the hunter and charges towards him. The hunter tries to take another shot, but finds he's out of ammo. He throws down the gun and starts running away, but he realizes that the bear is going to catch up to him.

The hunter falls to his knees and starts praying. He says, "Dear Lord, I ask that you let this bear find some religion before he does me in."

He turns around, and the bear stops, falls to its knees, and starts praying. The bear says, "Dear Lord, for this food I am about to receive, I am truly grateful…"

wink

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

huskerbb wrote:
Ok, so this guy goes to heaven and St. Peter is going to show him around.

So, they come to the first room, and everyone inside is praying the rosary and saying their Hail Mary's. St. Peters says "that's the Catholic room", to which the guy replies "oh, ok, that makes sense."

They then get to the second room and St. Peter opens the door and the guy observes a bunch of people raising their hands and loudly shouting "Praise the Lord", "Can I get an Amen", "Praise Jesus", etc... St. Peter says "that's the Baptist room". Again, the guy says that is understandable.

As they are coming to the third room, St. Peter tells the guy "ok, we are coming to the third room, and you must be very, very quiet" to which the guy naturally asks "why"? St. Peter replies, "well, we are coming up to the Lutheran room, and they think they are the only ones here."

An oldie but a goodie!

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

weltschmerz wrote:

I think it is funny. But then again i dont scold people for a religious joke. You do so you might get offended. Just saying.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Good ones Lilly!

karl271 · Guru

Not only is it funny, Fran, it is pretty much true. I was raised Lutheran..

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

flan327 wrote:
Do you need the Bible verse that explains the joke?

flan

Hahahahaha! NOW I "get" the joke. Wives submit to your husbands and all.

just Czech · Give Me Grand's!

These are great!

Thanks for the laughs!

Tinydancer · Guru

Tinydancer · Guru

WYSIWYG · Guru

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Lindley · Guru

WYSIWYG wrote:
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

LOL!

Tignanello · My dog name is, Sasha!

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Do you need the Bible verse that explains the joke?

flan
Hahahahaha! NOW I "get" the joke. Wives submit to your husbands and all.

I didn't get it till right then.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Tignanello wrote:
Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Do you need the Bible verse that explains the joke?

flan
Hahahahaha! NOW I "get" the joke. Wives submit to your husbands and all.
I didn't get it till right then.

See? I'm not the only one!

weltschmerz · Guru

Maybe that's why some people got their knickers in a knot? Because they didn't get it?

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

weltschmerz wrote:
Maybe that's why some people got their knickers in a knot? Because they didn't get it?

Or perhaps it's because it is about subservient attitudes w/r to woman. Not so much a religious joke. Did you ever stop to think about that?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
weltschmerz wrote:
Maybe that's why some people got their knickers in a knot? Because they didn't get it?
Or perhaps it's because it is about subservient attitudes w/r to woman. Not so much a religious joke. Did you ever stop to think about that?

That's what I was thinking. And it shows a lack of understanding. Men have a whole heck of a lot more responsibility to a wife than a wife has to her husband. And men are the ones held responsible for the family, and any failures.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru