DEAR ABBY: My husband of 12 years and I have few common interests. I am earthy, nature-loving, people-loving and crave a rural lifestyle. He's an introvert, loves everything Western, enjoys his downtime and watches a lot of television. He dislikes animals and is a sports fanatic.
I don't criticize his interests. I allow him his hobbies. My problem is, our dreams of the future can't be combined. My off-the-grid homestead and his 70-inch TV don't exactly fit.
It's depressing that we don't appreciate each other's interests, and doing all of our hobbies separately is lonely. How can I experience my dreams when they are not my husband's dreams? -- HIPPIE JANE IN PROVO, UTAH
DEAR HIPPIE JANE: Try doing that by remembering what you had in common with your husband 13 years ago. Is the core of your relationship still a good one? Couples don't have to be joined at the hip 24/7. Can't each of you enjoy your hobbies and interests separately? Many couples do.
However, if the answer is that you have grown increasingly apart in the last 12 years, the only way you can each experience your dreams may be to do it alone or with other like-minded people.
Kind of how people are though now. If all your dreams aren't coming true every second of every minute of everyday, get a divorce! How about thinking you the person you married? How about just imagining your life for a moment if the spouse you wake up and come home to every day isn't there? Is all that other stuff going to matter?
As for her earthy crunchy lifestyle, not sure why she can't make candles and churn butter and wear birkenstock sandles while he watches his 50 inch plasma TV.
Why does one's dreams have to eradicate the others?
You find a way to work it out. Compromise.
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