Dear Amy: My friend and I were serious car hobbyists for about 10 years. We’ve had some great times over the years. Circumstances caused him to stop all of these activities about three years ago.
He sold all of his stuff, except for one car, which he stored. Recently, he made it quite clear that he was never going to return to our shared hobby.
I waited about three weeks after this announcement and then e-mailed him a detailed offer to buy his car. Two weeks passed with no response. I sent him another e-mail asking for some response — nothing.
I e-mailed him again two weeks later. Several days later he sent me a counter offer, saying it had taken so long because it was a hard decision.
I responded the next day with another offer. Again, 10 days passed and nothing, so I contacted him again.
I think it is extremely rude of him to just ignore my e-mails. He could just decline or respond promptly that he is thinking about it, but to do nothing, I feel, is kind of an insult. What should I do? — Clueless
DETROIT FREE PRESS
Carolyn Hax: Dad needs to make own decision on a visit
Dear Clueless: Why should this person feel pressured to respond promptly? You are not inviting him to a social event or asking a personal or a friendship-type question, which would be rude to ignore.
This is about his car. He owns it. He gets to decide what to do with it. He has already told you this is a hard decision; if he eagerly wanted to sell it to you, he would have let you know promptly.
His silence might also be part of his negotiation. Maybe if you raised your offer he would get back to you more quickly.
This isn't just a business deal. They were/are supposedly friends. If he doesn't want to sell the car--then just say that.
Yes, they were supposedly friends. But it sounds like now that they don't share the same hobbies, this guy is just interested in buying his car. Whatever those "circumstances" are, maybe he hasn't been much of a real friend during that time.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Ignoring and not seeing are two different things. And, we are all bombarded with calls, texts, emails, etc. Sometimes you just forget. Or, you don't see it as important to respond to. Doesn't mean you are trying to be rude.
