Dear Amy: We first met when I was 14 and he was 16, but when we reconnected we were both married to other people, and we left our spouses for each other. We were married for six years. This ended up being a very toxic and at times abusive relationship.
Then an old friend that I dated when I was 18 re-entered my life. I started an affair with him and haven’t looked back. My husband found out very quickly and we divorced.
My current lover was also in a relationship when we began our affair. I am 47 and he is 48.
He was/is dating a woman 16 years older than he is. She happens to have lots of disposable income. She is basically his “sugar mama.” He admits that he’s never been in love with her, but he respects her and feels guilty and obligated to her because of all the “gifts” she showers upon him.
My lover is a very attractive and charming divorced father of four. He doesn’t want a relationship unless it involves love and mutual respect. We have been dating for almost a year. His sugar mama knows about me but refuses to give up on the relationship. He promises me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but he continues to accept gifts and go on “dates” with her.
She has given him property, vehicles, clothes, trips — you name it. He swears that eventually he will end it, but he’s trying to figure out how to do it gracefully.
I am a smart, attractive, reasonably level-headed woman with a good job, and so far I have done OK supporting myself. The logical part of me says he will never leave her as long as she keeps showering him with what she substitutes for love — money, gifts, etc. I feel like this woman is preying on his vulnerability. He is a very soft-hearted guy and feels like his word is his bond. At one time he did promise her that he would never leave her.
I love him and don’t want to give him up, but am I playing a losing hand? —Lovesick in Texas
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I'm not sure why he is afraid to be in a relationship. It seems she consistently chooses unattainable men as a shield to being available to find true love.
