Dear Amy: I am 17 years old and a lesbian. I’m trying to figure out how to come out to my family, or at least to my dad. I know my family is nonsupportive of other LGBT members of the family. Sometimes they say awful things about them. They tell a lot of jokes, and sometimes it’s really hard on me.
I have a girlfriend. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We have been together almost a whole year. Prom is coming up, and I’m getting sick of hiding the fact that I’m gay and have a girlfriend, but I’m honestly scared.
I don’t know what the reaction will be or how to be prepared for it, or how I will cope if the reaction is bad. Sometimes it makes life really hard, especially lately with my parents going through a divorce. The idea of revealing this about myself at this time seems wrong.
I know that I’m almost an adult, but the secret makes my life hard. I’m different in a lot of ways I feel they wouldn’t approve of.
I feel sometimes like I should be sorry I am the way I am. This is really important to me. I want them to accept it and to accept us. Please help me, I could use the guidance. — Lost in California
Dear Lost:
DETROIT FREE PRESS
Mom-to-be upset her friend’s husband blabbed her pregnancy secret
If you have other family members who are gay — and if you trust them to be honest and compassionate toward you, they are in the best position to offer you specific advice about what you should do in the short term. It is not always safe for gay teens to come out to their parents. Sometimes parents punish or kick their children out of the house. If your parents are stressed by their own marital troubles, they might react badly to your news.
In the short term, I hope you will plan on attending your prom with your girlfriend, but you might not be able to do so in front of your parents. I’m very sorry to recommend that you stay at least partially in the closet, but that might be best for you right now.
Please remember that you are perfect just the way you are. Teenagers often go through very rough patches of worrying and wondering about their identity, and this is especially true for LGBT teens. Your friends, peers and sympathetic adults will help.
I have a great resource to recommend — Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project: itgetsbetter.org. It is very important for you to know that you are not alone. Countless other teens have successfully walked this path, and they — and I — stand with you now.
Poor girl. Don't tell Dad. He can find out later when you are an adult and he has no control over you, b/c he doesn't sound like he's going to be very understanding. You are going to the prom with a friend.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
There is a lot of angst and drama around the Prom as it is. I don't think that is a good time to come out. Just seems like it would create a lot more drama and added stress. Why not wait until a less charged time?
Went senior year long enough to get pictures and then my friends and I went to a party down town.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Oh and the girl should just keep her mouth shut for now.
No need causing drama.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Poor girl. Don't tell Dad. He can find out later when you are an adult and he has no control over you, b/c he doesn't sound like he's going to be very understanding. You are going to the prom with a friend.
I hope she can work out her situation.
Yes, go with a "friend" and enjoy the prom. The two of them know the truth, and others will soon.
She wants them to accept it. We don't always get what we want.
The problem with acceptance is that people want you to AGREE and rubberstamp and hip hooray everything they do. No, her parents do not have to agree with or give their blessing on her lifestyle. However, they do have to respect that she is an adult and she gets to make her own choices and it is her life and be respectful of her in that regard. Likewise, she needs to respect their right to hold their opinions as well.
