A blonde pulls up to the curb in a brand-new Ferrari Spider convertible outside a bank in Manhattan. She hands the keys to the valet and goes inside to speak with a loan officer.
She says she needs to borrow $5,000 for a business trip, but she's in a bit of a hurry, as she's leaving that afternoon.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of collateral for the loan, so the blonde offers the car her car, which is safely in the bank's garage by now thanks to the valet. She has the title in her purse, so the bank agrees to accept the car as security for the loan.
The bank's president and officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for putting up a $250,000 Ferrari against a mere $5,000 loan.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest and fees, which comes to $21.26.
The loan officer says, "Madam, we are very happy to have had your business, but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a woman of considerable means. Why would you even bother to borrow such a small amount of money?"
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $21 and expect it to be there when I return?"
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his pack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiller Jesus."
-- Edited by weltschmerz on Saturday 26th of March 2016 06:04:52 PM
