TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Dear Abby: My boyfriend's melancholy ruins the holidays

Ohfour · Hooker

That's what we did. BIL is no longer welcome at out house during holidays. He brings the entire family down.

We called him yesterday to say happy Easter and his response was, "all holidays died for me when Betty Jane (their mother) died". He's a 70 year old man. It's ridiculous...

FNW · Guru

Find a new boyfriend.

Personally, holiday joy is important to me. My ex lost his mother to cancer a week before Christmas, so holidays were always a downer for him. There were many other reasons it didn't work for us, but this was a biggie.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Yeah, scrooges get sympathy the first couple of years, after that, buck up or don't come. My father died on Christmas Eve and my step-father on Christmas Day. Getting over that and refusing to let it ruin the holidays took me several years - but I smiled my way through it and didn't ruin it for others. I'd be damned if I'd let someone else ruin holidays for a decade.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Yeah. They're not married. I would walk. It's very controlling behavior and I love the holidays too much to put up with that. Luckily my fiancé is a xmas hoor too lol

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Well darn. I was thinking about skipping Christmas festivities this year. A long time ago I lost my mom and sis two weeks after Christmas and now my dad two days after. I was thinking a cruise if I could get the time off.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

You should go on the cruise.

But I doubt you would purposefully and knowingly bring a wet blanket to your family's events.

FNW · Guru

Taking a cruise is not the same as ruining it for others by being rude and ungrateful during gift-receiving.

Ohfour · Hooker

Southern_Belle wrote:
Well darn. I was thinking about skipping Christmas festivities this year. A long time ago I lost my mom and sis two weeks after Christmas and now my dad two days after. I was thinking a cruise if I could get the time off.

Aw, SB. I think this year would be the absolute most appropriate time for that! 20 years from now, I think you should be enjoying your family...

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I'd love to take a cruise at Christmas.

FNW · Guru

I would, too.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:
Well darn. I was thinking about skipping Christmas festivities this year. A long time ago I lost my mom and sis two weeks after Christmas and now my dad two days after. I was thinking a cruise if I could get the time off.
Aw, SB. I think this year would be the absolute most appropriate time for that! 20 years from now, I think you should be enjoying your family...

Exactly.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

The guy in the OP is working too much, possibly to avoid dealing with his life. Too bad.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.

But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.

That's true.

But then it goes back to "if you love them".

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Misery loves company.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.

Yes, and you know such a person. I don't know anyone like that.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.
Yes, and you know such a person. I don't know anyone like that.
flan

Did you REALLY just say that? Really??????

Tinydancer · Guru

Well if flan doesn't know one they mustn't exist...

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.
Yes, and you know such a person. I don't know anyone like that.
flan
Did you REALLY just say that? Really??????

No, apparently you're hallucinating.

What is your problem?

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Tinydancer wrote:
Well if flan doesn't know one they mustn't exist...

Monkey see, monkey do...

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.
Yes, and you know such a person. I don't know anyone like that.
flan
Did you REALLY just say that? Really??????
No, apparently you're hallucinating.
What is your problem?
flan

I'm not the one with the problem...

Tinydancer · Guru

flan327 wrote:
Tinydancer wrote:
Well if flan doesn't know one they mustn't exist...
Monkey see, monkey do...
flan

Did you just call me a monkey? Or are you stating that you are one?

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Damn.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Doesn't know anyone that's a wet Blanket. Ever...
Lol

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Monday 28th of March 2016 03:44:13 PM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

There's no such thing!

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
Damn.

Right?

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Southern_Belle wrote:
Misery loves company.

That's why I love this board so much! That was a joke before anyone wants to tell me what a bad person I am.

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Ohfour wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.
Yes, and you know such a person. I don't know anyone like that.
flan
Did you REALLY just say that? Really??????
No, apparently you're hallucinating.
What is your problem?
flan
I'm not the one with the problem...

Let me get this straight:

I state a FACT ABOUT MY LIFE, and I have a problem?

My extended family is likely one of the smallest on the board, and nope, none of them are like that. Friends? If they acted like that, they wouldn't be for long.

flan

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

Mary Zombie wrote:
Doesn't know anyone that's a wet Blanket. Ever...
Lol

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Monday 28th of March 2016 03:44:13 PM

Calm down, Mary.

It will be okay.

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
lilyofcourse wrote:
There comes a time when you have to choose how you behave.

I didn't say feel, I said behave.

And if you love the people you are with, you do everything in your power not to ruin their holidays.
But then there are people that actually enjoy ruining holidays for people. If they are going to be miserable, they want everyone to be miserable too.
Yes, and you know such a person. I don't know anyone like that.
flan
Did you REALLY just say that? Really??????
No, apparently you're hallucinating.
What is your problem?
flan
I'm not the one with the problem...
Let me get this straight:
I state a FACT ABOUT MY LIFE, and I have a problem?
My extended family is likely one of the smallest on the board, and nope, none of them are like that. Friends? If they acted like that, they wouldn't be for long.
flan

What's that saying... if 4 out of 5 people are crazy, and 4 of your friends aren't, they maybe its you?

Now THAT is an analogy...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Wow. Just wow. I can't even........

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the very most clueless of them all?

Empyreal · Senior Member

This Ethan guy sounds like a total butthole. I would scrap the relationship.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Empyreal wrote:
This Ethan guy sounds like a total butthole. I would scrap the relationship.

Me, too. First of all - a guy in his 40s who has been your boyfriend for 10 years? NO. Second, he more wrapped up in the past than invested in making the future work. NO. Third, he doesn't sound fun to be around at all. RUN!

flan327 · Itty bitty's Grammy

I have no idea what my family & friends are like.

Happy now?

flan

Ohfour · Hooker

*snort*

*sigh*

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

People get depressed or have losses , illness etc. And yes there are times you dont feel like celebrating the holidays. And maybe you just limit yoyr holiday time with others. That's ok. But you have to understand that others should be allowed their moments of joy.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

The OP lost me at "boyfriend of 10 years". Just. No. Sh!t or get off the pot.

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Mellow Momma wrote:
The OP lost me at "boyfriend of 10 years". Just. No. Sh!t or get off the pot.

MM, for me that's an appropriate description of how I feel about marriage, LOL ...

Honeys_Mom · Mod & Permanent Board Sweetheart

Nobody Just Nobody wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:
Misery loves company.
That's why I love this board so much! That was a joke before anyone wants to tell me what a bad person I am.

You made me laugh out loud, NJN biggrin

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
People get depressed or have losses , illness etc. And yes there are times you dont feel like celebrating the holidays. And maybe you just limit yoyr holiday time with others. That's ok. But you have to understand that others should be allowed their moments of joy.

This.

About a month after my marriage crumbled, my uncle announced he was getting married.

They had a little ceremony a couple weeks later.

I was in no mood for a wedding. I was angry, hurt, bitter and hated ANYTHING to do with love and marriage.

But I went. God help me, I went.

I smiled, I talked, and put on a pretty good show.

But I was screaming on the inside.

I remember being in the bathroom, white knuckling the sink, gritting my teeth and trying to swallow the bile back from the rage I had boiling inside me. Took me a good ten minutes to gain my composure again and go back out to play happy again.

But I did it.

Because it wasn't about me. I had to keep my chickens together for the sake of my family.

There are times when you swallow and swallow and swallow until your sure you are going to choke, but you keep on swallowing.

And you do it for those you love, so they can have some joy.

-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Tuesday 29th of March 2016 12:39:18 AM

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

It's like women who have had a miscarriage or difficulty have children. Yes, of course that is extremely painful. But that isn't a personal slam at you if your friend gets pregnant. I have seen women that simply cannot be happy for their friend and the friend has to tiptoe around their pregnancy. Heck it has happened on this board. Yes, it is a painful thing, but others have the right to talk about their own joys.
In life we are going to have joys and tragedies. We all have both. And, sometimes when you are going through your life's tragedies, others are going through their joys. And, make no mistake EVERYONE is going to have trying times in their lives, and so will those having joy now, so why take that away from someone?

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

That was well said Lilly. It isn't about "me". Everything in life should not be interpreted as all about "me". Personally, that is why i think parents who get all their kids a gift on birthdays are making a huge mistake. You have to teach your children that everything ins't all about them. And, i have had times where one of my kids pouted at their siblings party and had to take them aside and say, this day isn't about YOU and it is about you helping to make this a happy day for your sibling. And, your turn will come when it's your birthday. That yes, in life you are required to set your own pain or issues aside at times for the happiness of others.

Mary Zombie · Guru

Maybe I don't wanna calm down. Stop being a wet blanket you big meanie!