Dear Amy: My daughter is a sophomore at one of the top 10 universities in the country.
Two years ago, when she started school, she was thinking of a double major in math and Spanish.
Now she has decided to quit math as a major and major in Spanish. As a matter of fact, Amy, she doesn’t even know what she wants to do with her life.
This is killing me, because she is a smart student and with all the time and money we are spending, she is not going to get anywhere she deserves after four years.
She even made it onto the dean’s list last year, despite the fact that she didn’t like some of the courses she took.
Is there any way I can help her? — Desperate Parent
Dear Desperate: You seem determined to create and perpetuate a problem where none exists.
Let’s review:
Your daughter is majoring in Spanish at a prestigious university.
She is getting great grades.
She isn’t sure what she wants to do with her life.
In short, your daughter is basically exactly where she should be. Did you know what you wanted to do at her age? Most people don’t.
Your hard-earned money is being spent on your daughter’s education, and she is getting an education. Your investment should not require that she announce her life-plan to you at the ripe old age of 20.
My main suggestion is not for your daughter but for you: If you pressure her and degrade her choices, she may find a way to repay your generosity by dropping out and/or landing back home after graduation, with no discernible plans or priorities.
I agree with thinking majoring in spanish is a poor choice. Unless coupled with another major, the tuition costs are not worth it. Daughter should be pursuing teaching at the very least. If she doesn't know what she wants to do or at least not sure of the path, she shouldn't waste the money on tuition.
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Well, so the parents shouldn't have input according to Amy? If i am paying for your degree, dang right it better be in something marketable and useful. Now, whether that is or not, i dont' know.
If parents are paying, they should get to have an opinion on what they are paying for. I certainly don't want to shell out thousands for a degree in psychology or philosophy -those are useless in and of themselves. As is a spanish degree without a teaching component. Spanish isn't even an in demand language - too many people speak it.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Yeah, I agree with y'all. The whole point of college is make someone marketable. This kid will get her Spanish major, then sue the college in 10 years because she didn't get a job.
And kids really need to learn - they are not ENTITLED to have mommy and daddy pay for their college. It's great when parents can and will, but that is a CHOICE parents make - not a requirement.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I thought people were supposed to follow their passion?
If the parents bully her into a major she doesn’t want or like, she will simply burn out. You see it all the time.
And around here, spanish translators need to be booked about a week ahead, and cost anywhere from $65--$100 dollars per HOUR.
Plus the Extension Agency has one or two, so does the local health clinic, the hospital, the courthouse.
Spanish is plenty marketable.
I thought people were supposed to follow their passion? If the parents bully her into a major she doesn’t want or like, she will simply burn out. You see it all the time. And around here, spanish translators need to be booked about a week ahead, and cost anywhere from $65--$100 dollars per HOUR. Plus the Extension Agency has one or two, so does the local health clinic, the hospital, the courthouse. Spanish is plenty marketable.
Around you. Most other places have plenty of spanish speakers.
And sure - she can follow her passion, but she might have to pay for it. She's not entitled to have someone else pay for it for her.
And having a fall back is not exactly a bad thing. She is GOOD at math - and that's a much more marketable degree.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it."
I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun.
The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money.
I hate it so much.
Knowledge is more than a commodity. However, we should strive to be a productive member of society. Sometimes that means putting your "passion" on the back burner if it doesn't put a roof over your head and food on the table.
I thought people were supposed to follow their passion? If the parents bully her into a major she doesn’t want or like, she will simply burn out. You see it all the time. And around here, spanish translators need to be booked about a week ahead, and cost anywhere from $65--$100 dollars per HOUR. Plus the Extension Agency has one or two, so does the local health clinic, the hospital, the courthouse. Spanish is plenty marketable.
Following your is"passion" is overrrated. Fine, if your passion is something that people are willing to pay for. But, if your passion is to play tiddlywinks, then no you aren't going to pay your bills on that. And, this whole 'I love my job" thing is just a lot of nonsense. I don't "love" my job. I love my spouse and my kids. Jobs come and go. Yes, find a job that interests you. But, every job has its share of drugde work. We fill our kids heads full of this type of baloney and then wonder why they can't function. Instead of "doing what you love". How about learning to love what you DO?
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it." I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun. The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money. I hate it so much.
You don't need to go to college and pay $40,000 /yr to acquire knowledge. People who love to learn do so all of their lives. I never stop learning. I learn new things all the time. I don't have to break the bank of mom and dad for that.
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it." I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun. The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money. I hate it so much.
Well, the problem is that knowledge doesn't support your family by itself. When people started assuming they don't have to have a real skill, they made themselves unmarketable. You really think the coal miners loved their jobs? Or garbage men, or sewer maintenance workers?
Your job allows you to support yourself and your family. People have lost sight of that in the pursuit of everything "me, me, me!"
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it." I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun. The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money. I hate it so much.
You don't need to go to college and pay $40,000 /yr to acquire knowledge. People who love to learn do so all of their lives. I never stop learning. I learn new things all the time. I don't have to break the bank of mom and dad for that.
Exactly. You don't need to pay 4 years of college tuition to learn Spanish.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
People who think education is something you "get" like buying something at the Mall, are not really lifelong true, learners. I learn about all kinds of things all the time. Right now, i am interested in birds. I have a Bird book and am feeding and trying to attract different birds to my yard. I am watching their behavior, flight patterns and trying to learn their individual songs. I have taught myself to play the guitar with books and dvds. I replaced the vanity the kids' bathroom and learned i am pretty good at that but don't know jackschit about plumbing though i gave it the old college try, lol. If you only learn when some professor is bleating in your ear, you never will be very smart.
Now, there is no reason she can't combine this with something useful, as she was doing. Or, she could take the extra education classes to make her eligible to be a teacher.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it." I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun. The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money. I hate it so much.
Well, the problem is that knowledge doesn't support your family by itself. When people started assuming they don't have to have a real skill, they made themselves unmarketable. You really think the coal miners loved their jobs? Or garbage men, or sewer maintenance workers?
Your job allows you to support yourself and your family. People have lost sight of that in the pursuit of everything "me, me, me!"
For a lot of jobs you don't need a specific college degree, they just want you to have one. And people are starting to look at language and the arts in a more positive light, so no, a Spanish degree would not be the end of the world.
My degree is in Creative Writing. I loved getting it.
I am managing a dairy farm. The degree makes zero impact, yet I love my job, AND I had a great time getting my dimploma.
People act like History and Art and Language are no longer inportant. They are.
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it." I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun. The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money. I hate it so much.
Well, the problem is that knowledge doesn't support your family by itself. When people started assuming they don't have to have a real skill, they made themselves unmarketable. You really think the coal miners loved their jobs? Or garbage men, or sewer maintenance workers?
Your job allows you to support yourself and your family. People have lost sight of that in the pursuit of everything "me, me, me!"
For a lot of jobs you don't need a specific college degree, they just want you to have one. And people are starting to look at language and the arts in a more positive light, so no, a Spanish degree would not be the end of the world.
My degree is in Creative Writing. I loved getting it.
I am managing a dairy farm. The degree makes zero impact, yet I love my job, AND I had a great time getting my dimploma.
People act like History and Art and Language are no longer inportant. They are.
Your job was pretty much set for you, wasn't it? Not everyone has a built in opportunity, no matter what they choose to study.
My degree is in history and political science. Those were great building blocks for law school. They are pretty much useless by themselves.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
People who think education is something you "get" like buying something at the Mall, are not really lifelong true, learners. I learn about all kinds of things all the time. Right now, i am interested in birds. I have a Bird book and am feeding and trying to attract different birds to my yard. I am watching their behavior, flight patterns and trying to learn their individual songs. I have taught myself to play the guitar with books and dvds. I replaced the vanity the kids' bathroom and learned i am pretty good at that but don't know jackschit about plumbing though i gave it the old college try, lol. If you only learn when some professor is bleating in your ear, you never will be very smart.
We have know for decades that the higher the average education level in a society, the more it thrives.
So the good old US of A makes going to school such a miserable and tedious experience that we have an embarrassingly high dropout rate.
Oh, and it is so expensive to go to college that people who do make it through high school and want to go further are generally crippled with debt.
I just HATE how people treat knowledge as nothing more than a commodity. "Oh, it won't make you money, don't bother learning it." I hate that. We are programed to learn and grow and be challenged. Learning is supposed to be natural, and fun. The current system makes it a chore, and nothing more than a way to make money. I hate it so much.
Well, the problem is that knowledge doesn't support your family by itself. When people started assuming they don't have to have a real skill, they made themselves unmarketable. You really think the coal miners loved their jobs? Or garbage men, or sewer maintenance workers?
Your job allows you to support yourself and your family. People have lost sight of that in the pursuit of everything "me, me, me!"
For a lot of jobs you don't need a specific college degree, they just want you to have one. And people are starting to look at language and the arts in a more positive light, so no, a Spanish degree would not be the end of the world.
My degree is in Creative Writing. I loved getting it.
I am managing a dairy farm. The degree makes zero impact, yet I love my job, AND I had a great time getting my dimploma.
People act like History and Art and Language are no longer inportant. They are.
That's all well and good. But, it seems pretty foolish to spend that kind of money for a random degree that you have no actual plan on how you will use and hope you get SOME job somewhere that simply requires any random BS degree. Sorry, but I am not going to financially support that.
People who think education is something you "get" like buying something at the Mall, are not really lifelong true, learners. I learn about all kinds of things all the time. Right now, i am interested in birds. I have a Bird book and am feeding and trying to attract different birds to my yard. I am watching their behavior, flight patterns and trying to learn their individual songs. I have taught myself to play the guitar with books and dvds. I replaced the vanity the kids' bathroom and learned i am pretty good at that but don't know jackschit about plumbing though i gave it the old college try, lol. If you only learn when some professor is bleating in your ear, you never will be very smart.
We have know for decades that the higher the average education level in a society, the more it thrives.
So the good old US of A makes going to school such a miserable and tedious experience that we have an embarrassingly high dropout rate.
Oh, and it is so expensive to go to college that people who do make it through high school and want to go further are generally crippled with debt.
And, as we have pumped out more college graduates, the more useless the degree has become. So much so that many have spent 10's of 1000's to now get jobs that didn't used to require a BS. There are so many now that industries now have just raised that standard. No everyone does not need to go to college. In fact, we need more technical education and other types of certifications instead of more useless BS degrees to Nowhere.
I thought people were supposed to follow their passion? If the parents bully her into a major she doesn’t want or like, she will simply burn out. You see it all the time. And around here, spanish translators need to be booked about a week ahead, and cost anywhere from $65--$100 dollars per HOUR. Plus the Extension Agency has one or two, so does the local health clinic, the hospital, the courthouse. Spanish is plenty marketable.
Following your is"passion" is overrrated. Fine, if your passion is something that people are willing to pay for. But, if your passion is to play tiddlywinks, then no you aren't going to pay your bills on that. And, this whole 'I love my job" thing is just a lot of nonsense. I don't "love" my job. I love my spouse and my kids. Jobs come and go. Yes, find a job that interests you. But, every job has its share of drugde work. We fill our kids heads full of this type of baloney and then wonder why they can't function. Instead of "doing what you love". How about learning to love what you DO?
Yep, go ahead and rack up 80K+ in tuition to get a degree in Spanish because its your passion. Then try paying it off!
__________________
Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Jesse's goal is to major in languages and work in some sort of translation job.
Maybe the daughter has secret plans to move to a Spanish speaking country.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
