Single mom-of-two reveals she is planning to buy vibrators for her daughters - aged EIGHT and ONE - so they can learn to have 'mind-blowing, amazing sex'
Stephanie Land hopes that by giving her daughters vibrators they will find sex 'less tempting' because they will know how to 'pleasure themselves'
She also plans to give them a 'worn copy' of Our Bodies, Our Selves
The 37-year-old, from Missoula, Montana, hopes the move will make her daughters more assertive when they do have sex with another person
She said when she was 17 sex became an 'addiction' because she did not know about masturbation
PUBLISHED: 09:51 EST, 8 April 2016 | UPDATED: 14:35 EST, 8 April 2016
1.7kshares
78
View comments
A mother has controversially claimed that she plans to buy vibrators for her two daughters who are currently aged eight and one.
Stephanie Land, 37, a writer from Missoula, Montana, hopes that by providing her daughters with vibrators - and a 'worn copy' of Our Bodies, Our Selves - sex will feel 'less tempting' because they will know how to 'pleasure themselves'.
Explaining her decision in an article for She Knows, the single mother, who is a survivor of domestic violence, said when she was 17 sex became an 'addiction' because she was not aware of masturbation.
Scroll down for video
+3
Direct: Writer Stephanie Land, from Missoula, Montana, pictured breastfeeding, plans to supply her two daughters, currently aged eight and one, with vibrators
+3
Educative: Stephanie, pictured, also plans to give her daughters a 'worn copy' of Our Bodies, Our Selves
By giving her daughters the knowledge of 'self-pleasure' she hopes that when her children do have sex it will be 'mind-blowing' and 'amazing'.
'I believe girls shouldn’t just learn about sex being enjoyable with partners; they should first learn how to pleasure themselves,' she wrote.
'In addition to getting a worn copy of Our Bodies, Our Selves, my girls will get vibrators.'
Suggesting reading material for children, she said her daughter should be 'getting herself off' while reading Forever, Judy Blume, The Basketball Diaries and learning about their clitoris from Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation.
She added: 'Wouldn’t an eager boy’s erection be a little less tempting (if it’s tempting at all) when countered with knowledge of what good sex could really feel like?'
By experiencing orgasms alone first, she hopes it will make her daughters more assertive.
She said: 'I hope that my daughter is able to say “no,” and that she says “yes” only when she’s ready. I hope she says “yes” breathlessly and loud and not in a silent absence in fear of saying “no.”
'I want her to have mind-blowing, amazing sex, and she won’t know how unless she first knows how to have it with herself.'
Bold: The writer, from Missoula, Montana, hopes the move will make her daughters more assertive when they do have sex with another person
Researchers unveil $159 programable vibrator
Loaded: 0%
Progress: 0%
00:00
Play
Mute
Current Time0:00
/
Duration Time1:02
Fullscreen
Need Text
In the article, entitled Why I'm Buying My Daughters Their Own Vibrators, she said her eight-year-old knows about the reproductive process but that at the moment she thinks her mother has only had sex twice.
Stephanie said she has yet to explain that it can also be 'enjoyable'.
When her first sexual relationship ended she was like a 'strung-out person looking for a fix' because the feelings she experienced 'came out of nowhere'.
She said she had 'no clue' how to recreate those feelings for herself, adding: 'I only knew that he'd made me feel something I'd never felt before and I could only get that feeling from him.'
She said she knows that rebellion and birth control talks are 'coming' in five to ten years, but that she is 'anxious' to teach her daughter about masturbation which she grew up thinking was a 'sin'.
She said sex education - incorporating rape culture in 'age-appropriate ways' needs to start at kindergarten and that unwelcome sex should not be part of teenage girls' experience of growing up.
Critics claim while her plans may be well-intended, it is borderline 'creepy' and 'invasive'.
Writer Alexandra Carlton urged Stephanie on Kidspot to stop trying to be a 'cool mum'
She wrote: 'Leave her to do some of that fumbling, awkward experimentation and, yes, even mistakes on her own, when she wants, the way she wants, when the time is right.
'What if she doesn’t WANT a vibrator at the age of 16 or 17 or 18? What if it’s simply not where her head is at yet?'
'I know your intentions are good, but have some respect for your daughter’s autonomy. Otherwise you’re little better than the boys who are going want to take a piece of it, too.'
Stephanie appears to be evangelical about the merits of vibrators.
In a previous article for Huffington Post, she described in graphic detail how she used a 'purple silicone six-inch rabbit' on her nipple to unblock it when she was breast feeding.
'I believe girls shouldn’t just learn about sex being enjoyable with partners; they should first learn how to pleasure themselves
Stephanie Land, 37
In the article she also describes how she bought the vibrator after she found out she was pregnant because she doubted telling a man that she was pregnant would 'lead to sexy times'.
Stephanie told Daily Mail Online that she wrote the article on why she wants to give her daughters vibrators as a reaction to others that have been published talking about the 'very young ages that girls were beginning to engage in sexual activity.'
She said in the context of sexting and girls 'doing sexual acts that are mainly for the enjoyment of males', girls need to learn 'what feels good sexually' for themselves so that when they do have sex they will be 'empowered enough to expect that from their partners'.
She added: 'And hopefully engaging in sexual acts at an older age when they're ready and have more knowledge of their own bodies.'
Stephanie said the article has been 'very controversial' and the response has been 'crazy'.
She said she has 'no idea' at what age her daughters will be 'ready' to discuss sex.
Adding: 'My older daughter has always been very inquisitive and I have given her age-appropriate responses about sex and used real names for genitalia.
'When the time comes, they might not want to talk about sex with me at all, and that's fine.'
She said she has taught them about consent from a young age with activities such as hugging.
Stephanie said she believes women should be able to know, expect and ask for 'what feels good' rather than sex being 'an act that's expected of them'.
'I fear the absence of self-pleasure sets girls up for engaging in sex at an earlier age, without knowledge of how their bodies work, leaving them vulnerable to STDs, pregnancy, and finding themselves in situations they are not comfortable with...
'I think it's important to empower women in not only knowing what feels good, but expecting it and even asking for it when they're ready, instead of sex just being an act that's expected of them,' she said.
Suggesting reading material for children, she said her daughter should be 'getting herself off' while reading Forever, Judy Blume, The Basketball Diaries and learning about their clitoris from Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation.
Judy Blume wrote "Forever." It sounds like they are separate items.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I applaud the mom for using the correct names for body parts, but I hope she knows her kids well enough to respect their comfort level when they're teens.
I don't see how she didn't know about masturbation at 17...
Okay, so all we've established is that the Brits aren't the only ones that have freaky parents.
__________________
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I'll rise!” ― Maya Angelou
Right but that could be any age. There is age appropriate sex ed for all ages. She isn't saying how far she will take that and when. Kids can masturbate pretty young, so sounds like she plans to introduce the vibrator pretty early.
The article itself is dumb because who cares? It's just a way for this mom to get in the news. But the thought of teaching her girls that sexual exploration of their own body through masturbation rather than teenage sex is normal - I can't really find anything to fault in that.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
OK? And, that has to do with the LW running around saying she is buying vibrators for her 1 yr old how?
I wonder if my head might explode...
1. She is NOT buying a vibrator for her INFANT.
2. Even though this is 2016, NOT every parent is comfortable discussing SEX with their children. I'm not sure what "dialogue about sex" was referring to.
I believe in and support early and accurate, yet age appropriate, discussions by parents to their kids about sex. But that's where I draw the line. Discussion. This woman is out of her mind.
Just because you don't buy your kids vibrators doesn't mean you don't have conversations with your kids. And, btw, I don't feel the NEED to start saying Penis and vagina when they are two. It's no different than letting your kids use words like "tummy" when they say my tummy hurts. I dont' have to correct them and say , no you are really experciencing upper gastric distress in your cecum and jejunum. They can and will learn the "correct" terms but I think "private parts" really is much more informative to children.
-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Tuesday 12th of April 2016 07:07:28 AM
Just because you don't buy your kids vibrators doesn't mean you don't have conversations with your kids. And, btw, I don't feel the NEED to start saying Penis and vagina when they are two. It's no different than letting your kids use words like "tummy" when they say my tummy hurts. I dont' have to correct them and say , no you are really experciencing upper gastric distress in your cecum and jejunum. They can and will learn the "correct" terms but I think "private parts" really is much more informative to children.
-- Edited by Lady Gaga Snerd on Tuesday 12th of April 2016 07:07:28 AM
Well, considering I have never heard another adult use those words, I am going to say that doesn't really apply.
And I agree that words need to be "age appropriate." It's those cutesy terms that make me barf..."va-jay-jay." Seriously?!
How about don't be a perv. This mom is doing what amounts to grooming and exploitation of a minor and enticing a minor, and acts of lewdness.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
How about don't be a perv. This mom is doing what amounts to grooming and exploitation of a minor and enticing a minor, and acts of lewdness.
Wow!
What exactly is she "grooming" them for?
flan
Are you kidding me?
She's buying them vibrater, going to show them how to use them?
If that isn't grooming, then nothing is.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
How about don't be a perv. This mom is doing what amounts to grooming and exploitation of a minor and enticing a minor, and acts of lewdness.
Wow!
What exactly is she "grooming" them for?
flan
Are you kidding me?
She's buying them vibrater, going to show them how to use them?
If that isn't grooming, then nothing is.
No, you've got this backward.
Says the man who accused a "coworker" of offering her daughter up because she was pooping in the nude, in an office bathroom while the business was closed.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
How about don't be a perv. This mom is doing what amounts to grooming and exploitation of a minor and enticing a minor, and acts of lewdness.
Wow!
What exactly is she "grooming" them for?
flan
Are you kidding me?
She's buying them vibrater, going to show them how to use them?
If that isn't grooming, then nothing is.
No, you've got this backward.
Says the man who accused a "coworker" of offering her daughter up because she was pooping in the nude, in an office bathroom while the business was closed.
I didn't say she was offering anything. I just thought it was strange that a 10 y.o. girl was not allowed to have her clothing with her in the bathroom, and was not allowed to close the bathroom door.
And the mom didn't respond to the girl's call for TP.
__________________
The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
Always misinterpret when you can.
Page 1 of 1 sorted by
totallygeeked -> totallygeeked general -> Single mom-of-two reveals she is planning to buy vibrators for her daughters - aged EIGHT and ONE -