DEAR ABBY: I’m a 29-year-old self-made millionaire who has spent the last decade saving and investing my middle-class income. I grew up dirt poor, so at 18 I left home with $5, went straight to work and never looked back.
Recently, I’ve realized that I struggle to make friends for fear they’ll find out about my financial situation. Those who know only want to talk about money or treat me differently.
Most of my peers are broke and it makes me feel guilty. Those with high incomes blow their money on fancy dinners and luxury vehicles. I’m just a working-class woman who likes driving my 10-year-old car, and I don’t feel like I fit in with anyone. In fact, I’m developing an anxiety. A few months ago I went to the bank to deposit a large sum of money and was mortified to see that the bank teller was a friend of the family.
I have gone to the extreme of lying about owning homes and going on vacations, and it’s making me crazy. I even have issues with letting my young daughter’s friends come over for playdates, for fear that the other moms will think our house is “too nice.”
Do I need counseling or is this just a turning point in my life that I need to grasp? — MONEY WORRIES
DEAR MONEY WORRIES: If someone has to have money worries, yours are the nicest kind to have. It would be interesting to know how many successful people share your feelings, because I suspect that you are far from alone in experiencing them. (A psychiatrist once told me that many of her successful patients feel like frauds despite their considerable accomplishments.)
A licensed mental health professional can help you to get past these feelings before they cause your daughter to be isolated, and I think the money would be well spent.
P.S. If you feel your banking transactions are not being kept confidential, either change financial institutions or arrange for private banking, which is available for high-net-worth individuals.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
She needs counseling. Believe it or not, people are just usually not that obsessed with other people's money. And if you want to live a "normal" life where people don't know how much money you have, buy a "normal" house. And stop letting your neurosis interfere with your kid having friends.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Well, just because you are more affluent than your friends doesn't make them jealous or looking to take advantage of you. But, take you banking out of town if you live in a small town if you are concerned. Some people have more. Some people worked for it. Some inherited money. SOme a bit of both. So what? It isn't an issues unless you make it one.
Just be who you are. Yes, you made millions at a young age. That's great. Not sure the need to hide it. You don't have to flaunt it nor do you have to hide it. Just be matter of fact. Yeah, there might be some jealous types, but oh well,, you will always have that. But, continue to be who your friends know you to be, that's all.
Oh, there are some people who complain. A friend of mine hires a housekeeper. She was just randomly making a comment one day about her housekeeper. After she walked away, some of the coworkers had to make some stupid comment.
Just be who you are. Yes, you made millions at a young age. That's great. Not sure the need to hide it. You don't have to flaunt it nor do you have to hide it. Just be matter of fact. Yeah, there might be some jealous types, but oh well,, you will always have that. But, continue to be who your friends know you to be, that's all.
It seems like she feels caught between two worlds & doesn't feel comfortable in either. Too bad for her.
You think she'd be proud of what she's accomplished at such a young age.
