DEAR AMY: “Tired Ears” had just started working with someone who talked constantly. Your advice was useful but I would add something more. I think she needs to try to establish an aural boundary with the chatterer. I think it would be very legitimate to say, “I need some quiet time now. I would appreciate it if we could not speak for the next 10 minutes.” If her co-worker doesn’t cooperate, she could further explain, “It takes lots of energy for me to listen. I need more quiet time when I don’t have to listen to someone. So I’d appreciate it if you would work with me on quiet time, so I can have some quiet time and we can also have periods of time to talk with each other.” My mother was a nonstop talker and it was exhausting to me.
D
DEAR D: Compulsive talkers don’t always respond to requests for quiet, but I agree with you that “Tired Ears” should definitely try.
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The Principle of Least Interest: He who cares least about a relationship, controls it.
I think it is OK to make that request. And, there might a few big talkers who get that. But, the best course of action is to simply limit your time with them if that is an issue for you. And, you can also learn how to tune it out as well.
I am not much of a talker. I type a heck of a lot more than i ever talk IRL! Lol. Honestly, i used to talk a bit more then i realized most people don't listen to a single word i say. And, that i was tired of being the one only listening. So, i will talk to someone to the extent they have any interest in what i say. If they don't, i pretty much don't waste my energy.
I work with a few non stop talkers. Actually anyone there who doesn't talk a lot is looked down on. Since I am quiet by nature and constant talking exhausts the hell out of me, they think I have a problem. But I've never worked with so many compulsive talkers before this job. They are scared of quiet, they can't tolerate more than a few seconds of it.
I work with a few non stop talkers. Actually anyone there who doesn't talk a lot is looked down on. Since I am quiet by nature and constant talking exhausts the hell out of me, they think I have a problem. But I've never worked with so many compulsive talkers before this job. They are scared of quiet, they can't tolerate more than a few seconds of it.
Think about how unproductive they are. I like chatting with my co workers, but the obsessive talkers really annoy me.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Remember being on a glue line with a couple talkers.
From the time these two walked in a 7 am till they left at 6pm, they talked.
To each other, anyone around them, the machines, and to themselves.
But, it was entertaining.
You can not control what another adult does.
But you can control how you respond.
There was a lot of half listening and ignoring going on. And your just learn to deal.
It's called life.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Remember being on a glue line with a couple talkers.
From the time these two walked in a 7 am till they left at 6pm, they talked.
To each other, anyone around them, the machines, and to themselves.
But, it was entertaining.
You can not control what another adult does.
But you can control how you respond.
There was a lot of half listening and ignoring going on. And your just learn to deal.
It's called life.
But they know when you are only half listening. And then they think you're the rude one. They don't think their constant talking is rude, they think they are friendly.
Remember being on a glue line with a couple talkers.
From the time these two walked in a 7 am till they left at 6pm, they talked.
To each other, anyone around them, the machines, and to themselves.
But, it was entertaining.
You can not control what another adult does.
But you can control how you respond.
There was a lot of half listening and ignoring going on. And your just learn to deal.
It's called life.
But they know when you are only half listening. And then they think you're the rude one. They don't think their constant talking is rude, they think they are friendly.
So?
They didn't seem to care.
Do the "uh huh" "really" "oh my" thing now and then and they don't care.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Remember being on a glue line with a couple talkers.
From the time these two walked in a 7 am till they left at 6pm, they talked.
To each other, anyone around them, the machines, and to themselves.
But, it was entertaining.
You can not control what another adult does.
But you can control how you respond.
There was a lot of half listening and ignoring going on. And your just learn to deal.
It's called life.
Perhaps on an assembly line but not when you work in cubeville and someone just walks up to you and starts their blathering.
Working assembly lines is a beast of its own, just like cubicles.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Sometimes you just have to let the non stop talker think you're mean. At least you get some peace for a while. I am pretty tolerant for longer than most might be in general. But I won't be held hostage
My mother is a talker. My dad would sometimes complain to me about her "prattling on". I didn't understand until he was no longer around & now it's me she "prattles on" to. No lie she will list everything she bought at the grocery store. As in "I went to Walmart on Saturday and I bought lettuce, and strawberries and........oh wait I forgot I also bought paper towels" It can drive me crazy. But she is my mom so I just deal with it. I don't think I could stand it if it was a coworker I didn't care that much about.
Well, you can always say something like "I would love to chat more, but I need to get back to focusing on this abc thing I am working on." and if they keep chatting, or come back to you sooner than you like, "... sorry to interrupt but actually, I am still working on abc. perhaps we can chat tomorrow after lunch?"
