DEAR ABBY: Prom is less than three weeks away, and I'm still looking for the perfect dress. My mom and I went prom dress shopping one time -- but everything I liked, she didn't. She told me that if she didn't like the dress, she was not going to purchase it.
I tried to tell her this is my prom and I should like the dress, not her, without sounding mean. She told me I should pick the cheapest dress.
Am I wrong for not liking the dresses she likes? How can I get through to her that this is not her prom, but my prom? -- AGGRAVATED IN LOUISIANA
DEAR AGGRAVATED: When you start buying your own wardrobe, your taste can be the deciding factor. However, when your mother buys it FOR you, it's important to remember that her budget needs to be considered and try to be gracious about it. As you will discover when you are older, because a dress is expensive does not guarantee that it's the prettiest or that it will look great on you.
It's a bit of a dance, lol. My daughter gets to pick her dress to some extent and it is pending my approval as well. Usually she finds something appropriate that looks very pretty. If the daughter is picking out a dress that is appropriate it may not be my favorite, but if she feels pretty in it then i am generally ok with that.
Mom needs to tell her flat out what the budget is, so she can choose a dress within that range. And as long as the dress isn't inappropriate, the daughter should get to choose.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I agree with LL. Telling her she must pick the "cheapest" one is not a choice at all. Give her a range of what mom would be comfortable spending and let her pick in that price range.
Obviously, it needs to be appropriate, also, but it doesn't sound like that is the issue.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
It's like preparing for a wedding and about as expensive.
Dresses are outrageous and then the hair, make up, after prom dress, parties, limos, flowers, shoes.
It just goes on and on.
Mom does need to say "this is your price range" and daughter needs to accept she has to choose in that price range and be thankful.
I wonder if mom has tried consignment and used dresses?
I think someone could clean up with a dress rental place. Like guys do with their tux.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It's like preparing for a wedding and about as expensive.
Dresses are outrageous and then the hair, make up, after prom dress, parties, limos, flowers, shoes.
It just goes on and on.
Mom does need to say "this is your price range" and daughter needs to accept she has to choose in that price range and be thankful.
I wonder if mom has tried consignment and used dresses?
I think someone could clean up with a dress rental place. Like guys do with their tux.
When DDs were in school, they had a "Prom Dress Swap". You partnered with a school in another county and if you brought in a dress, you could take one out. Dress swapping pretty much. It was great. I don't know if they still do that or not though...
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America guarantees equal opportunity, not equal outcome...
It's like preparing for a wedding and about as expensive.
Dresses are outrageous and then the hair, make up, after prom dress, parties, limos, flowers, shoes.
It just goes on and on.
Mom does need to say "this is your price range" and daughter needs to accept she has to choose in that price range and be thankful.
I wonder if mom has tried consignment and used dresses?
I think someone could clean up with a dress rental place. Like guys do with their tux.
When DDs were in school, they had a "Prom Dress Swap". You partnered with a school in another county and if you brought in a dress, you could take one out. Dress swapping pretty much. It was great. I don't know if they still do that or not though...
Sounds like a great idea.
The average size could have all kinds of options with that.
But the really little or the bigger girls, not so much.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It's like preparing for a wedding and about as expensive.
Dresses are outrageous and then the hair, make up, after prom dress, parties, limos, flowers, shoes.
It just goes on and on.
Mom does need to say "this is your price range" and daughter needs to accept she has to choose in that price range and be thankful.
I wonder if mom has tried consignment and used dresses?
I think someone could clean up with a dress rental place. Like guys do with their tux.
When DDs were in school, they had a "Prom Dress Swap". You partnered with a school in another county and if you brought in a dress, you could take one out. Dress swapping pretty much. It was great. I don't know if they still do that or not though...
Sounds like a great idea.
The average size could have all kinds of options with that.
But the really little or the bigger girls, not so much.
A woman in Boston collects all sorts of dresses then basically gives them away, pretty much.
I remember going with Caitlyn to get a prom dress.
At the time, she wore a 3 but was blessed with a butt and boobs.
It was hard finding her something. Lots of altering took place.
I'm just reminiscing.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It's like preparing for a wedding and about as expensive.
Dresses are outrageous and then the hair, make up, after prom dress, parties, limos, flowers, shoes.
It just goes on and on.
Mom does need to say "this is your price range" and daughter needs to accept she has to choose in that price range and be thankful.
I wonder if mom has tried consignment and used dresses?
I think someone could clean up with a dress rental place. Like guys do with their tux.
When DDs were in school, they had a "Prom Dress Swap". You partnered with a school in another county and if you brought in a dress, you could take one out. Dress swapping pretty much. It was great. I don't know if they still do that or not though...
Sounds like a great idea.
The average size could have all kinds of options with that.
But the really little or the bigger girls, not so much.
A woman in Boston collects all sorts of dresses then basically gives them away, pretty much.
There is a similar set up in a school district close by.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Butt and boobs. DD12 is going to be "blessed" with that as well.
Oh the joy.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Butt and boobs. DD12 is going to be "blessed" with that as well.
Oh the joy.
Yep. We've had trouble finding pants to fit her since she was about 7. She's small but has a big butt.
We moved to junior and then misses around then.
The cut is better for bigger butts.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It took some trying time to find the right ones and we needed to tack up a couple hem lines.
Shorts were easier to find.
It's just a suggestion.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
My DD is tall with long legs. So, the dresses today are super short and it is hard to find one that she feels comfortable enough in that is so short. She doesn't mind short dresses but for band concerts, etc when sitting it is a bit of an issue.
Well, it's more like they are at your ankles or barely cover your thighs.
It's hard to find a knee length now.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
