TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Dear Abby - my girlfriend rents out her place when she stays with me.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

OK - just a few things. First, had he ever even considered renting his place out before, or is he not just jealous b/c she's doing hers? Some people would never consider renting out their place. And the guy is talking weekends here - the proximity to work isn't the real reason she is staying there on weekends - he may be one of those that wants her at his place instead of vice versa.

Second - he is assuming "she would want some of the money", he doesn't know. He may be projecting b/c he obviously wants some of her money.

Third - there is no "etiquette" on this. You are not married, you are not entitled to whatever money she makes b/c she stays at your place when you invited her to do so. WTH? If she wasn't doing this, you wouldn't even think twice about it, you'd be happy she was coming to your place. Geesh.

And something not mentioned - what does she contribute when she is staying with him? Does she buy food? Cook?

I just wouldn't have patience for this kind of issue, really.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Wow. If you aren't All In before marriage, it sure won't happen after. Someone who is already keeping score and resentful? Not looking good for the long haul in my opinion.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Get married and stop playing house.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Not sure i would want to marry someone who is already running the score sheet.

FNW · Guru

I think she's better off without him. He's greedy.

Tangerine · Guru

I hope this guy asks her for a cut of the money she is making.
That way she will surely dump his butt and be better off without this jerk.

huskerbb · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
OK - just a few things. First, had he ever even considered renting his place out before, or is he not just jealous b/c she's doing hers? Some people would never consider renting out their place. And the guy is talking weekends here - the proximity to work isn't the real reason she is staying there on weekends - he may be one of those that wants her at his place instead of vice versa.

Second - he is assuming "she would want some of the money", he doesn't know. He may be projecting b/c he obviously wants some of her money.

Third - there is no "etiquette" on this. You are not married, you are not entitled to whatever money she makes b/c she stays at your place when you invited her to do so. WTH? If she wasn't doing this, you wouldn't even think twice about it, you'd be happy she was coming to your place. Geesh.

And something not mentioned - what does she contribute when she is staying with him? Does she buy food? Cook?

I just wouldn't have patience for this kind of issue, really.

I think it says more about him than it does her. He is out NOTHING here. Presumably, he wants her companionship over those weekends.

huskerbb · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.

These people aren't even living together. She's just staying there on some, or most, weekends.

Sure, she should maybe chip in for some groceries if they are staying in, and if they are dining out often, she could pick up the tab once in a while--but this whole apartment thing is just silly.

Mary Zombie · Guru

WTH? Maybe she should just stay at her place then and he can join her if he so chooses. I think it's pretty ingenious on her part. Why on earth would be feel he's entitled to her money? Put a ring on it

TrudyML · Guru

I wouldn't want a ring from that crybaby.

cadiver · Senior Member

huskerbb wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.
These people aren't even living together. She's just staying there on some, or most, weekends.

Sure, she should maybe chip in for some groceries if they are staying in, and if they are dining out often, she could pick up the tab once in a while--but this whole apartment thing is just silly.

I would not call living together either, but I think she is staying there a lot more than some or most weekends. He says she stays there most of the time because of being closer to work. I would figure that being five days a week for work. I just think the renting of the place on weekends is because that would be the time of demand.

Does not change my view. Unless she moves in and gets a full time renter he should just stay quiet.

-- Edited by cadiver on Thursday 21st of April 2016 10:27:20 AM

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

If he wants a cut then he should also go over & help her clean before & after the guests arrive/leave. Wash the linens & towels, etc. I would imagine there is a bit of work involved with renting the place out on weekends.

Oughttabeworking · Regular

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.

I disagree to an extent. In my relationship, there is mine, his, and ours. We each have things from our previous lives that require our resources that belong exclusively to us individually. I think that is probably pretty normal when you get together later.

Mary Zombie · Guru

I wouldn't want a ring from him either. I don't get why it would occur to him to have an issue with it unless he feels she's at his place too much. If so then he needs to address that. How much you want to bet he wants her at his place all of the time though. So he sounds lazy, whiny and greedy!
Heck my DF doesn't even want to know how much I have now or after the wedding. He says mine is extra for us😀
I hope she dumps him.

msrock · Guru

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.

I'm married, and we have our own separate accounts. I write him a check on payday for my portion of the mortgage and utilities. I pay my own car payment, my own car insurance and my own credit cards. We both love and prefer this arrangement. lol. We were both married before and brought with us our own families. He doesn't need to know if I decide to write a check to help out my son with his insurance one month. I don't need his opinion or approval on what I spend my money on as long as I'm not asking him to help me and he doesn't need mine. It works great for us.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

msrock wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.
I'm married, and we have our own separate accounts. I write him a check on payday for my portion of the mortgage and utilities. I pay my own car payment, my own car insurance and my own credit cards. We both love and prefer this arrangement. lol. We were both married before and brought with us our own families. He doesn't need to know if I decide to write a check to help out my son with his insurance one month. I don't need his opinion or approval on what I spend my money on as long as I'm not asking him to help me and he doesn't need mine. It works great for us.

My husband and I keep separate accounts. His name is on mine, but he never sees them. I'm the beneficiary of his accounts, but I'm not on them for liability purposes in case I ever get sued. We each pay for certain things. But he's the saver and I'm the spender. When we come into extra money, we decide together what to do with it - if it's going into savings, he gets to put it there. If it's going to be spent on stuff, it goes in my account.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

msrock wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.
I'm married, and we have our own separate accounts. I write him a check on payday for my portion of the mortgage and utilities. I pay my own car payment, my own car insurance and my own credit cards. We both love and prefer this arrangement. lol. We were both married before and brought with us our own families. He doesn't need to know if I decide to write a check to help out my son with his insurance one month. I don't need his opinion or approval on what I spend my money on as long as I'm not asking him to help me and he doesn't need mine. It works great for us.

When did you tie the knot? I missed it. Congrats!

msrock · Guru

Lexxy wrote:
msrock wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.
I'm married, and we have our own separate accounts. I write him a check on payday for my portion of the mortgage and utilities. I pay my own car payment, my own car insurance and my own credit cards. We both love and prefer this arrangement. lol. We were both married before and brought with us our own families. He doesn't need to know if I decide to write a check to help out my son with his insurance one month. I don't need his opinion or approval on what I spend my money on as long as I'm not asking him to help me and he doesn't need mine. It works great for us.
When did you tie the knot? I missed it. Congrats!

In February. You didn't miss anything because I never announced it. lol! biggrin

TrudyML · Guru

Congrats!

ed11563 · Guru

I'm old fashioned, I guess.

He has the pleasure of her company, which includes things like pleasant companionship and

sex.

At his place, which he controls.

I can't imagine asking a woman I'm sleeping with for money. Period.

Note there was no mention of marriage in the future, just sleeping together NOW.

This is not a business arrangement, nor should it be.

If he demands his cut, and she breaks u[ with him, who will find it easier to get a new paramour?

This is an opportunity for him to shoot himself in the foot. He's a jerk to even consider it.

Lexxy · My dog name is Sasha, too!

msrock wrote:
Lexxy wrote:
msrock wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Which to me demonstrates a lot of the problem with playing house before you are actually married. For me, you are either ALL IN or all gone. There are no "his bills and her bills". We have OUR bills, our account, our home, our cars, etc. I really cannot understand people who set up their lives as His and Hers.
I'm married, and we have our own separate accounts. I write him a check on payday for my portion of the mortgage and utilities. I pay my own car payment, my own car insurance and my own credit cards. We both love and prefer this arrangement. lol. We were both married before and brought with us our own families. He doesn't need to know if I decide to write a check to help out my son with his insurance one month. I don't need his opinion or approval on what I spend my money on as long as I'm not asking him to help me and he doesn't need mine. It works great for us.
When did you tie the knot? I missed it. Congrats!
In February. You didn't miss anything because I never announced it. lol!

You're not supposed to keep things like this a secret!!! Congrats again!

Mary Zombie · Guru

OMG Congratulations ms rock!!

I like how Ed thinks lol.

-- Edited by Mary Zombie on Thursday 21st of April 2016 01:14:40 PM

Ohfour · Hooker

Interesting. I only know one couple that has separate accounts. I can't even imagine. But then again, I don't pay any of the bills...and in reality, I have no idea whatsoever how much money is in the bank right now. I never look at it...I should probably figure out how to do it in case something ever happened to G...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
Interesting. I only know one couple that has separate accounts. I can't even imagine. But then again, I don't pay any of the bills...and in reality, I have no idea whatsoever how much money is in the bank right now. I never look at it...I should probably figure out how to do it in case something ever happened to G...

DH pays the household bills that come in the mail. I pay for anything that needs to be bought or paid for in person - food, clothes, extra-curriculars and daycare; gifts, etc.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Interesting. I only know one couple that has separate accounts. I can't even imagine. But then again, I don't pay any of the bills...and in reality, I have no idea whatsoever how much money is in the bank right now. I never look at it...I should probably figure out how to do it in case something ever happened to G...
DH pays the household bills that come in the mail. I pay for anything that needs to be bought or paid for in person - food, clothes, extra-curriculars and daycare; gifts, etc.

You still get bills in the mail? The only bills I have gotten in years in the mail are the ones for my surgery in February...

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Interesting. I only know one couple that has separate accounts. I can't even imagine. But then again, I don't pay any of the bills...and in reality, I have no idea whatsoever how much money is in the bank right now. I never look at it...I should probably figure out how to do it in case something ever happened to G...
DH pays the household bills that come in the mail. I pay for anything that needs to be bought or paid for in person - food, clothes, extra-curriculars and daycare; gifts, etc.
You still get bills in the mail? The only bills I have gotten in years in the mail are the ones for my surgery in February...

House note, car note, utilities.

Ohfour · Hooker

Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Interesting. I only know one couple that has separate accounts. I can't even imagine. But then again, I don't pay any of the bills...and in reality, I have no idea whatsoever how much money is in the bank right now. I never look at it...I should probably figure out how to do it in case something ever happened to G...
DH pays the household bills that come in the mail. I pay for anything that needs to be bought or paid for in person - food, clothes, extra-curriculars and daycare; gifts, etc.
You still get bills in the mail? The only bills I have gotten in years in the mail are the ones for my surgery in February...
House note, car note, utilities.

nope...

msrock · Guru

Thanks geeks! Now I'm no longer playing house. lol!

Ohfour · Hooker

msrock wrote:
Thanks geeks! Now I'm no longer playing house. lol!

I knew that though... wink

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Ohfour wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Ohfour wrote:
Interesting. I only know one couple that has separate accounts. I can't even imagine. But then again, I don't pay any of the bills...and in reality, I have no idea whatsoever how much money is in the bank right now. I never look at it...I should probably figure out how to do it in case something ever happened to G...
DH pays the household bills that come in the mail. I pay for anything that needs to be bought or paid for in person - food, clothes, extra-curriculars and daycare; gifts, etc.
You still get bills in the mail? The only bills I have gotten in years in the mail are the ones for my surgery in February...
House note, car note, utilities.
nope...

My husband still likes mail. And sitting at his desk and paying the bills. He's traditional that way.

TrudyML · Guru

I still play house! Need to get on that. May give it some thought this weekend. He moved in took over most bills except the mortgage payment. That is mine.

chef · Guru

Congrats, Msrock!

LW needs to get over himself. If he were concerned about her safety, her belongings getting stolen, etc., I could see his point. But just to whine about the money? Pfffft!

msrock · Guru

Ohfour wrote:
msrock wrote:
Thanks geeks! Now I'm no longer playing house. lol!
I knew that though...

biggrin

msrock · Guru

TrudyML wrote:
I still play house! Need to get on that. May give it some thought this weekend. He moved in took over most bills except the mortgage payment. That is mine.

It's fun! No judgment from me. lol! aww

TrudyML · Guru

LOL! We may just go to city hall. I don't want to have a massive bash. He doesn't like the massive bash. He gets overwhelmed in crowds.

msrock · Guru

TrudyML wrote:
LOL! We may just go to city hall. I don't want to have a massive bash. He doesn't like the massive bash. He gets overwhelmed in crowds.

That's what we did. Just the two of us. It was perfect.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Congratulations! Here's a little Friends humor for you...

Monica & Chandler showed us how to get married… correctly. | Community Post: 79 Ways "Friends" Were Our Friends:

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Congratulations on your promotion from "When are you getting #married" to "When are you having babies"? #wedding humor!:

msrock · Guru

Thank you!

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

One more!

TrudyML · Guru

msrock wrote:
TrudyML wrote:
LOL! We may just go to city hall. I don't want to have a massive bash. He doesn't like the massive bash. He gets overwhelmed in crowds.
That's what we did. Just the two of us. It was perfect.

Oooh, I'll tell him you give this idea a thumbs up. Thanks!

Lindley · Guru

Congratulations ms rock! What makes him think he is entitled to his money?

Cheerios4606 · Guru

Lawyerlady wrote:
Congratulations! Here's a little Friends humor for you...

OH Gawd.. poor ross! :sniffle: Gosh I miss this show.

Blankie · Guru

Very entrepreneurial of her, indeed.

She might want to be careful. Don't get into a fight with him on the weekends she's at his place. If he kicks her out of his place, she'll have nowhere to sleep!

Cheerios4606 · Guru

pshaw... she will have the cash from the airbnb to pay for a motel 6.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Congratulations, msrock!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Blankie wrote:
Very entrepreneurial of her, indeed.
She might want to be careful. Don't get into a fight with him on the weekends she's at his place. If he kicks her out of his place, she'll have nowhere to sleep!

Or, some renter could make a copy of the keys and sneak back in when she's there.