DEAR ABBY: I'm a hypochondriac. I am currently waiting on the biopsy results for a mole I had removed. Right now I'm worried and miserable. I feel guilty for what I'm putting my husband through. I want to get therapy, but doing that feels like admitting I'm too weak to handle my problems myself. My husband thinks he's a bad husband because he can't help me.
This isn't the first time I have worked myself up over a medical condition I may or may not have, and it won't be the last. How can I deal with my fear of dying from something horrible without damaging my relationship with my husband? Can hypochondria be cured? It's starting to take over my life. -- HYPOCHONDRIAC IN THE SOUTH
DEAR HYPOCHONDRIAC: It's a wise person who seeks help for a problem that's ruining the quality of his or her life. You should definitely discuss your fear of dying with a licensed mental health professional. To do that isn't "weak" -- it's the opposite.
You live--until you die. Outside of avoiding big risks that could lead to a horrible accident such as texting and driving or something, there's not a lot we can do about it, anyway.
My grandmother lived to be 103. She was never afraid of death--even though she knew her years were short.
What I'm sometimes afraid of is OTHERS dying.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
Good advice from Abby.Therapy, while it may not remove the fear, may help allay it byunderstanding that this is a common fear among billions and that she is not alone.
I have a hypochondriac friend.Whenever there is a health issue going on with him, he thinks it is cancer or something else bad.A lump under his arm (ganglion cyst), he thinks is a swollen lymph node from metastatic cancer.Acid reflux and he thinks he is having a heart attack and goes to the ED.He starts going off about how he is going to die, how it is a done deal, etc.Despite my suggestions and reassurances, he will not seek therapy because “there is nothing wrong with me” (eyeroll).He can also get very angry and upset when anyone suggests getting counseling.Fortunately he does live away from me, but once in awhile I will get a call describing his symptoms and his asking me if it is serious and if he is going to die.
Myself, I am not a hypochondriac, and not afraid of “death”.I have “died” 20 times before this lifetime.For me it is a passage into my next life experience (I also do not start each life cycle at birth, many times I am already an adult when I return).I know what I am not going to die from, which makes life rather nice.I can hop on an airliner, skydive, drive wherever I want, suffer injuries, secure in the fact that I will come through it.Not that I am reckless now (well, less now that in my younger years!).I also know what will end this lifetime, and when, so that is a comfort.I can at least plan for the future of my god-nephew and niece (my assets get split 50-50 between both) since I do not have any biological family.
I totally understand that for many people the fear of others dying is very much an issue.And hopefully, if it will help those to talk about this with a therapist and allay some fears, that people doseek guidance and reassurance.
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“Instead of wondering WHY this is happening to you, consider why this is happening to YOU." - Dalai Lama XIV
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” - Anne McCaffrey
My MIL was constantly focused on every nuance of her health. And, of course every issue was a catastrophe. She spend her healthy years fearing illness until she finally did get to that point. So, what did she accomplish other than wasting the best years of her life? Sad.
You live--until you die. Outside of avoiding big risks that could lead to a horrible accident such as texting and driving or something, there's not a lot we can do about it, anyway.
My grandmother lived to be 103. She was never afraid of death--even though she knew her years were short.
My MIL was constantly focused on every nuance of her health. And, of course every issue was a catastrophe. She spend her healthy years fearing illness until she finally did get to that point. So, what did she accomplish other than wasting the best years of her life? Sad.
My MIL was constantly focused on every nuance of her health. And, of course every issue was a catastrophe. She spend her healthy years fearing illness until she finally did get to that point. So, what did she accomplish other than wasting the best years of her life? Sad.
Some people enjoy poor health.
Yes, that is sadly true. My SIL is much like her mother as well.
