DEAR ABBY: My parents built a two-bedroom apartment onto their house for my brother and his wife when they were struggling financially. They decided to move out of state, so my single sister is now in the apartment.
It has been a year, and my brother and his wife are now expecting. They have moved back to the area because they want to raise the baby near family, and want the apartment back. Of course, my sister doesn't want to give it back. I feel she shouldn't have to.
I agree with my sister that my brother gave it up. But my brother feels my single sister doesn't need a two-bedroom apartment. On that point I agree with him. My husband, my parents and I are in the middle. What do you think should be done? -- SQUABBLING SIBLINGS
DEAR "SQUAB": Get out of the middle by stepping away. The apartment belongs to your parents, and it is up to them to decide who gets to use it. The rule of etiquette in a situation like this is: Mouth shut! (The more you involve yourself, the more one of your siblings is sure to resent you.)
I don't think that is particularly helpful advice. This is a nuclear family--not some long lost cousin. All of them, parents included are probably asking her input and/or want her support. How it gets resolved might greatly affect her.
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I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
Well, I could agree with you--but then we'd both be wrong.
If the single sister is paying rent then it's her apartment. They need to get another apartment somewhere else nearby. It would never occur to suggest the person renting my old apartment should get out. That's ridiculous and the parents should shut that down.
Yet another example of parents trying to do something nice for their kids, only to have it turn into some negative thing that slaps them in the face. And, the discord between the sibs will be very upsetting to the parents no doubt. Entitled people suck.
