TOTALLY GEEKED!

And they told her that it was okay if she just "came for a bit". This is pretty much "this party is for us, not for you, so do whatever". Daughter dislikes party so she didn't go. Everyone knew in advance!

What a spoiled special snowflake. The parents gave her several good options, but instead she did a disappearing act. Totally selfish.

There is some missing information. For instance, is the reason the daughter doesn't like parties due to a mental disorder or anxiety issue? If so, shame on the parents for trying to push her into something they know she is uncomfortable with or unable to process.

Stupid parents. There should not have been "just come for a bit and then leave" option. It was HER party. Ridiculous. And, OK she doesnt' like parties, but tough taters, sometimes your parents want to throw you a party. You have to define the parameters. And, when we have relatives, i tell the kids, you are staying home, sitting with us and you aren't going anywhere and no you aren't going to the basement to play your Xbox. You WILL sit and visit.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Why can't parents be bothered to parent, anymore?

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 If you ever figure that out, please let us know.

flan

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Why can't parents be bothered to parent, anymore?

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  Because it takes time and effort away from important things like posting on Facebook or doing whatever is your thing.  And, the kids might get mad and not like mom and dad anymore.  And, we can't have that.

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 Are you feeling well, LGS?

I was sure you were going to blame the evil Liberals!!!!

flan

VetteGirl wrote:

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There must be more to this story. If she is such a spoiled brat why wouldn't she want to get all that money?

-- Edited by VetteGirl on Monday 30th of May 2016 09:57:15 PM

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 I've been noticing that spoiled kids don't really care, they get everything they want anyway, so what does it matter if they do or don't get gifts. It's no bargaining tool. 

I find the one thing that is dear to them (for the moment) and threaten then with that if they don't do what I tell them. And I follow through.

That being said, if she didn't like parties, why throw one. It sounded more like a party for the parents than for the graduate.

Obviously, not.

I wonder if they taught her that she won't always get her way when she was a toddler. The phrase "you don't always get what you want" is spoken frequently in my home.

apple wrote:

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Divine Geek wrote:

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There is some missing information. For instance, is the reason the daughter doesn't like parties due to a mental disorder or anxiety issue? If so, shame on the parents for trying to push her into something they know she is uncomfortable with or unable to process.

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 I agree, something is not right.

Maybe she is depressed because her parents are selfish twits?

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 She's the one who skipped out on her own party and they are the "selfish" ones?

 

That is simply a foolish statement.  

apple wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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apple wrote:

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Divine Geek wrote:

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There is some missing information. For instance, is the reason the daughter doesn't like parties due to a mental disorder or anxiety issue? If so, shame on the parents for trying to push her into something they know she is uncomfortable with or unable to process.

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 I agree, something is not right.

Maybe she is depressed because her parents are selfish twits?

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 She's the one who skipped out on her own party and they are the "selfish" ones?

 

That is simply a foolish statement.  

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Did her parents encourage her to go? Did her parents talk to her about the importance of going? Hell, she didn't WANT the party!

-- Edited by apple on Tuesday 31st of May 2016 06:58:35 PM

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 The first two--not enough.  The last one--irrelevant.  We don't always get what we want.  When you have people coming to celebrate an event with you--grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc...--you suck it up and go even if it's a dreadful affair like the one my wife was at a couple of weeks ago. 

huskerbb wrote:

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apple wrote:

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huskerbb wrote:

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apple wrote:

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Divine Geek wrote:

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There is some missing information. For instance, is the reason the daughter doesn't like parties due to a mental disorder or anxiety issue? If so, shame on the parents for trying to push her into something they know she is uncomfortable with or unable to process.

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 I agree, something is not right.

Maybe she is depressed because her parents are selfish twits?

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 She's the one who skipped out on her own party and they are the "selfish" ones?

 

That is simply a foolish statement.  

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Did her parents encourage her to go? Did her parents talk to her about the importance of going? Hell, she didn't WANT the party!

-- Edited by apple on Tuesday 31st of May 2016 06:58:35 PM

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 The first two--not enough.  The last one--irrelevant.  We don't always get what we want.  When you have people coming to celebrate an event with you--grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc...--you suck it up and go even if it's a dreadful affair like the one my wife was at a couple of weeks ago. 

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 Exactly.  Suck it up.  Make small talk.  Act pleasant.

I had a friend whose parents tried to force her to go to Thanksgiving dinner at the house of a "friend-of-the-family" when we were in our late teens. What the parents didn't know was that the "friend of the family" had molested her until she was 12. It caused huge trauma stress for my friend, and then her parents reprimanded her for "spoiling the holiday".

To this day, due to the shame of being molested (I know - she shouldn't be ashamed, but she doesn't feel that way) her parents still don't know and try to make her show up at family events where she knows this guy will be attending. Some of the events are pretty important, like funerals or weddings, and she goes but it's hugely traumatic to have to interact with this guy all day or all weekend.

Lawyerlady wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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I had a friend whose parents tried to force her to go to Thanksgiving dinner at the house of a "friend-of-the-family" when we were in our late teens. What the parents didn't know was that the "friend of the family" had molested her until she was 12. It caused huge trauma stress for my friend, and then her parents reprimanded her for "spoiling the holiday".

To this day, due to the shame of being molested (I know - she shouldn't be ashamed, but she doesn't feel that way) her parents still don't know and try to make her show up at family events where she knows this guy will be attending. Some of the events are pretty important, like funerals or weddings, and she goes but it's hugely traumatic to have to interact with this guy all day or all weekend.

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 Perhaps she should tell them. 

 

Teenagers are notoriously difficult - how exactly were they supposed to know that was the reason she didn't want to go if she didn't tell them rather than her just not wanting to go to a boring adult's house?

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 Knowing her parents, they'd side with the "family friend".  

Tignanello wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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I had a friend whose parents tried to force her to go to Thanksgiving dinner at the house of a "friend-of-the-family" when we were in our late teens. What the parents didn't know was that the "friend of the family" had molested her until she was 12. It caused huge trauma stress for my friend, and then her parents reprimanded her for "spoiling the holiday".

To this day, due to the shame of being molested (I know - she shouldn't be ashamed, but she doesn't feel that way) her parents still don't know and try to make her show up at family events where she knows this guy will be attending. Some of the events are pretty important, like funerals or weddings, and she goes but it's hugely traumatic to have to interact with this guy all day or all weekend.

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 Perhaps she should tell them. 

 

Teenagers are notoriously difficult - how exactly were they supposed to know that was the reason she didn't want to go if she didn't tell them rather than her just not wanting to go to a boring adult's house?

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 Knowing her parents, they'd side with the "family friend".  

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 Won't know until she tells them.  And then at least she'd know to cut them all out of her life.

FNW wrote:

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She should tell them. Or someone should.

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 Well, the story wasn't to hijack the thread to talk about what my friend should or shouldn't do - I'm just suggesting that there might be more to this story than the daughter "skipping out" on a great party.

If I were the mom coming to the realization that my kid is a special snowflake and that I had failed miserably, I would at least attempt to make a stand. I would return every last gift and every last bit of money with a huge apology for the lack of attendance by the honoree. Perhaps a bit of public ridicule will be the first step in shaming the kid into realizing that they sh!t falls into the toilet with the same plop as everyone else.

Cheerios4606 wrote:

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If I were the mom coming to the realization that my kid is a special snowflake and that I had failed miserably, I would at least attempt to make a stand. I would return every last gift and every last bit of money with a huge apology for the lack of attendance by the honoree. Perhaps a bit of public ridicule will be the first step in shaming the kid into realizing that they sh!t falls into the toilet with the same plop as everyone else.

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 You've got game!  I love it.  Completely agree!  

FNW wrote:

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I had creepy cousin. I didn't see him much, but when I did, my mother always made sure I wasn't alone. I never had to say anything, she just knew. If my parents threw me a party and invited him, I don't think I would want to be there either.

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 I had a creepy cousin and a creepy uncle, I don't think I ever voiced my concerns but I did manage to stay away from them at family gatherings.

I think it's sad when people don't listen to kids who tell about abuse. 99.9% of the cases are true. But in this instance I think the girl was spoiled. Although she did tell her parents she didn't really want a party so the parents are partly at fault too. No one is REQUIRED TO have a graduation party.

Tignanello wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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FNW wrote:

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She should tell them. Or someone should.

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 Well, the story wasn't to hijack the thread to talk about what my friend should or shouldn't do - I'm just suggesting that there might be more to this story than the daughter "skipping out" on a great party.

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 I think assuming she is avoiding her whole family at her own graduation party for an unknown case of molestation is a big assumption.  Especially when it's more likely, based on the OP, that she's a selfish little twit.

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 That's the thing though.  We don't know.  And it's not selfish if you don't go to get the money . . . 

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 Yeah, we do.  They offered to cancel the party, she said it would be fine.  If it was that kind of issue, she could have gratefully accepted that kind of offer.  Instead -

 

My daughter does not like parties, so we asked her the week before to please let us know if she was feeling uncomfortable and we would call it all off, no problem. She said she would be okay with it, and we told her she could just come for a bit to say hi and thank her guests.

However, the daughter never showed, and instead stayed away from home all day. "On top of it all," the letter to Miss Manners added, "her grandparents flew in from out of town, and she was extremely rude to them and didn’t spend any time talking or thanking them for coming."

 

 

Selfish, thoughtless twit.

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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FNW wrote:

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She should tell them. Or someone should.

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 Well, the story wasn't to hijack the thread to talk about what my friend should or shouldn't do - I'm just suggesting that there might be more to this story than the daughter "skipping out" on a great party.

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 I think assuming she is avoiding her whole family at her own graduation party for an unknown case of molestation is a big assumption.  Especially when it's more likely, based on the OP, that she's a selfish little twit.

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 That's the thing though.  We don't know.  And it's not selfish if you don't go to get the money . . . 

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 It's not about the money.  It is about family milestones and being together as a family as they celebrate you.  And, whether you "want" to go or not is irrelevant.  If my kids only did what they want to do, i would have failed as parent in teaching them about family obligations, duty, and doing what is right whether you want to or not.

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 Then let's call the parents names for their failure to teach this child.  Not call her a 'selfish twit'.

Tignanello wrote:

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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Lawyerlady wrote:

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Tignanello wrote:

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FNW wrote:

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She should tell them. Or someone should.

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 Well, the story wasn't to hijack the thread to talk about what my friend should or shouldn't do - I'm just suggesting that there might be more to this story than the daughter "skipping out" on a great party.

---

 I think assuming she is avoiding her whole family at her own graduation party for an unknown case of molestation is a big assumption.  Especially when it's more likely, based on the OP, that she's a selfish little twit.

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 That's the thing though.  We don't know.  And it's not selfish if you don't go to get the money . . . 

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 It's not about the money.  It is about family milestones and being together as a family as they celebrate you.  And, whether you "want" to go or not is irrelevant.  If my kids only did what they want to do, i would have failed as parent in teaching them about family obligations, duty, and doing what is right whether you want to or not.

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 Then let's call the parents names for their failure to teach this child.  Not call her a 'selfish twit'.

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There comes a point when you are responsible for your actions.  This is definitely that point.