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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Harriette: Preteen Daughter Wants to Shave Legs
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Harriette: Preteen Daughter Wants to Shave Legs
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DEAR HARRIETTE: My preteen daughter is beginning to grow hair on her legs and in her armpits. She has asked me is she can begin to shave, because she is uncomfortable with the hair. I am reluctant to allow her to shave so early. Once you start, there's no turning back. But it is true that she is becoming pretty hairy. I have spoken to a couple of other moms from her class. One girl already does her eyebrows so that she won't have a "unibrow." That mother said she definitely helps her daughter to shave. Another mom lets her daughter shave her armpits. I don't know what to do. This was not an issue when I was growing up. -- To Shave, Cincinnati

DEAR TO SHAVE: The time when a child begins to shave is a very personal decision having everything to do with personal choice, comfort and hygiene. For some children, it can be hard to keep body odor down if they have excessive hair under their arms. You may want to assist your daughter in occasional underarm shaving or invest in some antiperspirant. Because she has expressed interest in shaving, you will have to decide when and if the hair is so visible that it makes her uncomfortable. You are right that once you start shaving, it can be hard to stop. Look for depilatories or other gentle ways of hair removal other than using a razor.



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Seriously? What is the big deal? Do people have to invent things to worry about? Get her a razor and let her shave her legs. Sheesh.

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LOL, DD;s big bday present when she turned 8 was a razor, it's what she wanted.

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Divine Geek


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I started wearing deodorant in fourth grade, and shaving not long after that. I have an older sister though, so I didn't make a big deal about it. I just started using her razor when I felt like it. I don't even think my mom knew for a while lol

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I don't understand the parental angst over this. It's hair. Who cares?

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flan327


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And WHY was this "not an issue" with the Mom? Is she 210 years old?

flan

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Mellow Momma


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Let's see. There is something that my child is self conscious about. I have the ability to help her do something about it. Should I ?!

It's not even a friggin choice. Let her shave. Sheesh. This is like saying "my child is hungry. If I let her eat, she will just get hungry again. Should I feed her?!"

How do people even make it through the day?! How do they pick out clothes in the morning?! Too many choices!!!

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Lawyerlady


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DD12 started shaving her legs this year. Underarm hair is not an issue, yet.

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Mellow Momma


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My DD shaved in kindergarten. No joke. She has my Italian genes and is a hairy beast. Her uniform was a skort and one day she grabbed my razor and shaved herself. I helped her after that. But it's just not a big deal. I cannot understand the OP at all.

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flan327


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Mellow Momma wrote:

Let's see. There is something that my child is self conscious about. I have the ability to help her do something about it. Should I ?!

It's not even a friggin choice. Let her shave. Sheesh. This is like saying "my child is hungry. If I let her eat, she will just get hungry again. Should I feed her?!"

How do people even make it through the day?! How do they pick out clothes in the morning?! Too many choices!!!

 Why wear CLOTHES????

flan



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lilyofcourse


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I started shaving and my mom didn't know for months.

Caitlyn started shaving on her own.

Both my boys chose when and if to shave.

As long as no one is hurting themselves doing it and they ain't leaving a mess, who cares?

I will say I prefer a depilatory now.

Takes a little longer but it lasts longer.

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I don't understand the angst over girls shaving.

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flan327


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chef wrote:

I don't understand the angst over girls shaving.

 Until I read this letter, I didn't know there WAS angst.

flan



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Ohfour


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Maybe its a Southern thing, but its a right of passage here. Much like getting your ears pierced and wearing makeup. Its a pretty big deal.

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Sigh, reminds me I need to do some grooming.

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ed11563


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Curious...

 

blade or electric?

 



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flan327


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Blade...and ONLY one specific brand for me.

flan

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Lindley


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I remember arguing with my mom about shaving my legs. I remember my daughter and I not seeing head to head about her shaving her legs. I think it's because it's hard realizing your little girl is growing up.

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Mellow Momma


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Double post



-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Saturday 25th of June 2016 05:07:05 PM

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Mellow Momma


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It didn't have a lot to do with growing up for us. My kids were born with hairy legs. As soon as they noticed it and wanted to shave, off came the hair.

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Lindley


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I can understand why your girls started shaving early, it is a personal choice between mother and daughter.

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Vette


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I was with my dad at this tender age and he would NOT let me shave or do anything remotely resembling me growing up. I was teased in pe class pretty ruthlessly because of my hairy legs and I had to put um... bandaids or tape on the nips because he wouldn't let me get a training bra!

What I'm trying to say is, let the girl shave dammit!

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lilyofcourse


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I was going the shave when I took a shower but didnt.

Mowed the yard.

I can mow my legs next time.



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Charley Harper
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I think I was in 5th or 6th grade. Maybe younger. And I was considered early. Started with an electric razor, for safety purposes. And the entire leg, not just from the knee down. Got my ears pierced around 11 or 12. Double piercings, too. Not at the same time. I got the first piercing, then returned with my mother so she could get hers done. Then I had the second holes put in. Mom was careful about what kinds of earrings I could wear. Nothing that would stretch out my lobes or if they caught on something, would pull through and rip the skin.

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lilyofcourse


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I got my first piercing at 12, second at about 15.

Got my third the day after I turned 18.

I also talked my cousin, who is 6 months younger than me, into getting hers done.

I signed her permission form.

She then hid it from her parents for months.



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Charley Harper
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I personally don't equate shaving legs with growing up or sexuality in any way shape or form. I think the comparison is actually somewhat silly. Noticing hair that you would like gone doesn't mean you want to have sex with boys. It just means you want the hair gone. I don't understand the rush to say it's something otherwise. She doesn't want the hair- help her remove it. So many other hills to die on when they are growing up. This just was never even a blip on my radar.

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lilyofcourse


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It does raise a question though.

Do you ever notice another person's legs?

I can't remember ever noticing unless I happen to touch them.

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flan327


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Do I notice?

Hmmm...I notice tattoos or heavy veins, usually.

Since I visit several area preschools (and am more comfortable in a casual dress), my legs definitely get noticed by the wee ones.

flan

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Mellow Momma


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I am pretty observant. Yes I notice other people's legs. I don't judge - but I notice.

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Ohfour


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Mellow Momma wrote:

I personally don't equate shaving legs with growing up or sexuality in any way shape or form. I think the comparison is actually somewhat silly. Noticing hair that you would like gone doesn't mean you want to have sex with boys. It just means you want the hair gone. I don't understand the rush to say it's something otherwise. She doesn't want the hair- help her remove it. So many other hills to die on when they are growing up. This just was never even a blip on my radar.

 Must be a regional thing. Its a BIG deal here. Like no mother wants to be the first mother to let her daughter shave her legs. Causes a snowball effect. All the girls then want to shave. Make up and piercing are the same way. 

 



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lilyofcourse


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I never thought about what other moms thought.



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Charley Harper
Mellow Momma


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Ohfour wrote:
Mellow Momma wrote:

I personally don't equate shaving legs with growing up or sexuality in any way shape or form. I think the comparison is actually somewhat silly. Noticing hair that you would like gone doesn't mean you want to have sex with boys. It just means you want the hair gone. I don't understand the rush to say it's something otherwise. She doesn't want the hair- help her remove it. So many other hills to die on when they are growing up. This just was never even a blip on my radar.

 Must be a regional thing. Its a BIG deal here. Like no mother wants to be the first mother to let her daughter shave her legs. Causes a snowball effect. All the girls then want to shave. Make up and piercing are the same way. 

 

 Yeah - most moms where my kids went to school didn't give a flying fart what other moms/kids were doing. If they didn't allow it - it didn't matter who else did. And vice versa. I honestly also cannot imagine parenting while worrying about what anyone else thought, except my DH. I would never ever make a decision based on what another family allowed. Yikes. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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I honestly didnt care what other moms did.

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Mellow Momma


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

I honestly didnt care what other moms did.

 Nope. Neither did I. I only have to please myself in my parenting. No one else. Why would I care if Suzie down the street did something ?! Whatever. Good for her. Doesn't mean it would change how I parent my kids. 



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chef


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This thread makes me glad I have a son.

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flan327


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chef wrote:

This thread makes me glad I have a son.

 That's the way I felt too!

When I was pregnant, I was afraid that I would have a girl who would ask me questions about makeup...evileye

flan



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#2 has been raising his armpits since he was 6, asking me if he has hair yet. I told him a little, but it sure smells (it doesn't) already.

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flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:

This thread makes me glad I have a son.

 That's the way I felt too!

When I was pregnant, I was afraid that I would have a girl who would ask me questions about makeup...evileye

flan

And that is why the mag Seventeen was created! 



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chef


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flan327 wrote:
chef wrote:

This thread makes me glad I have a son.

 That's the way I felt too!

When I was pregnant, I was afraid that I would have a girl who would ask me questions about makeup...evileye

flan

 I would be so lost with a daughter unless she was a tomboy. I see zero point in wearing makeup and don't own any. I do know how to apply it properly though thanks to many years of drama (also taught theatrical makeup) and my grandma. I don't do skirts, dresses, or heels. I don't even paint my nails.



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I bought make up almost eight years ago for my wedding. The whole slew of it. It's still in a box under my bathroom cabinet.

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lilyofcourse


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I wanted a girl first.

I was a girl, knew what it was like to be a girl.

Then I wanted a boy with the second.

And I was really thrilled my third was a boy so Jesse would have a brother.



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Charley Harper
ed11563


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Two of my cousins asked me to take and raise their daughters if they and their spouses died.

Signed papers.

Now, both little girls are over 21, and nobody died.

Missed that opportunity ... blankstare



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