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Vette


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So he's almost 11 and his face is right at my boob height. I catch him looking at my chest a lot and he is always trying to hug me. When we do hug I try to make it like an awkward sideways hug so he's not smashing his face into my chest. 

I'm not uncomfortable around him per se, but I feel like he's at the age where a talk maybe needs to happen. I'm just not sure if his dad should do it, or if I should say something or what. Any advice? 



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Nobody Just Nobody


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I still hug and kiss my SS on the lips. I don't find it weird. But if you find it uncomfortable maybe have dad talk to him?

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ed11563


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I suggest that you hug him while he's standing on the first step of a stairway.

Or just make sure his head is in between your boobs.

Maybe ask him what he's thinking or feeling, now that he's growing up

and thinking about girls.

Let him know that it's okay if he wants to invite a female classmate home for dinner

and studying.

If he starts to kiss or nuzzle your breasts, end the hug.

 



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flan327


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VetteGirl wrote:

So he's almost 11 and his face is right at my boob height. I catch him looking at my chest a lot and he is always trying to hug me. When we do hug I try to make it like an awkward sideways hug so he's not smashing his face into my chest. 

I'm not uncomfortable around him per se, but I feel like he's at the age where a talk maybe needs to happen. I'm just not sure if his dad should do it, or if I should say something or what. Any advice? 

 How long have you been with his dad?

Are you a hugger? Is he?

flan



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Vette


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We've been together for going on five years, and we both hug a lot. I don't feel uncomfortable about him hugging me, but I feel like I'm encouraging inappropriate behavior, kwim?

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lilyofcourse


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Bend down to hug him.

Make sure his head is at your sholuders.

Or find another way to show affection.

Fist bumps, elbows, party fingers.

But don't start assigning sexual behavior to a hug.

This sounds like your discomfort, not his attempt to feel you up.



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flan327


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VetteGirl wrote:

We've been together for going on five years, and we both hug a lot. I don't feel uncomfortable about him hugging me, but I feel like I'm encouraging inappropriate behavior, kwim?

 Okay, you might be overthinking. I'm not sure.

If he is respectful in language, etc., that's a good sign.

flan



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He is at "that age". bend down to hug him so his face isn't in your boobs. Or as he is leaving say to go to a friend's hug him from behind.

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ed11563


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Bend down to hug him.

Make sure his head is at your shoulders.



 I agree  with Lily,

and with IKWTDS.

 

 



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Vette


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Bend down to hug him.

Make sure his head is at your sholuders.

Or find another way to show affection.

Fist bumps, elbows, party fingers.

But don't start assigning sexual behavior to a hug.

This sounds like your discomfort, not his attempt to feel you up.

 I'm not "assigning", I'm pretty sure there is some kind of sexual undertone or I wouldn't be bringing this up in the first place. Even his dad has made some comments about it to me. 

And even if it is only my discomfort, again, I'm here for advice.



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Vette


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But yes I should start bending down for the hugs :p

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lilyofcourse


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Uh huh.

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Vette


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Uh huh what?

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Just hug him. Boob height and all.

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Vette


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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

Just hug him. Boob height and all.

 Lol! Thanks for the smile :)



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Seriously are you really gonna have him stand on a step to hug him? Or turn sideways or stop higging him? So what if he mashes his face in your bosom. That's what bosoms do , bring comfort. There is nothing sexual about that. Soon he will be taller than you. If you stop hugging and start fist bumping or something he will view that as a you pulling away. Don't overthink this. Just hug him. We all need more hugs. God put the boobies right in front of the heart. So what?
.

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FNW


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My boys love to nuzzle into my boobs. But they also like to squeeze my arm fat. Nothing sexual about either. Granted, they are only 8, but still. Kids love softness and find it comforting. But I can't count how many times "leave my boobs alone" has escaped my lips. The boys just laugh and start chanting "boobs, boobs, boobs."

With children who are not mine, I tend to go down to their level before giving hugs.

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Vette


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I think it's different that he's not my son as well

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just Czech


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If you have been giving him hugs for five years, keep giving hugs, he still needs them.

Simply change the angle if you are uncomfortable. Just don't stop giving and receiving hugs.

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Tignanello


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VetteGirl wrote:

I think it's different that he's not my son as well

 Yeah, I don't think  I would want a child to be getting some sort of sexual high from my hugs.  You say that DH has noticed it as well, but has he said anything about it to his son?  It sounds like it's a time to learn that you don't get your sexual satisfaction in public and in inappropriate ways.



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Tignanello


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just Czech wrote:

If you have been giving him hugs for five years, keep giving hugs, he still needs them.

Simply change the angle if you are uncomfortable. Just don't stop giving and receiving hugs.

 And this.



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