TOTALLY GEEKED!

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Dear Abby: Bride wants Mother of Groom to wear Strapless Dress

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

The groom needs to tell her that his mom is not going to wear a strapless dress. However she will most certainly wear green.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

I would talk my son out of marrying the wench. In fact, I would bribe him not to marry her.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

Holy moly!

I can't even type what I'm thinking about that Bride. furious furious furious furious furious furious (Use your imagination!)

I feel bad for the Mom of the Groom. cry

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Holy moly!
I can't even type what I'm thinking about that Bride. (Use your imagination!)
I feel bad for the Mom of the Groom.

I feel bad for the groom!

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
Holy moly!
I can't even type what I'm thinking about that Bride. (Use your imagination!)
I feel bad for the Mom of the Groom.
I feel bad for the groom!

Yeah, that too!

Lindley · Guru

If I made that demand to both my mother and mother in law they would have set me straight .

FNW · Guru

Bridezilla sounds like a piece of work.

At every one of my weddings, I told MOG what the colors were, and left it to her to pick out her own dress. She coordinated with my mom so they didn't conflict. It wasn't difficult.

Why do people make difficult situations out of small things.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

It never occurred to me to tell the moms what to wear when we got married. I never turned into a Bridezilla. A lot of the wedding stuff seemed kind of silly to me. Wasn't my thing.

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

I'd wear the green dress and the ugliest sweater I could find over it.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
I'd wear the green dress and the ugliest sweater I could find over it.

That sounds funny. But, would you really want to act passive aggressive on your son's wedding day?

Southern_Belle · Nothing's Impossible

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:
I'd wear the green dress and the ugliest sweater I could find over it.
That sounds funny. But, would you really want to act passive aggressive on your son's wedding day?

Maybe. If he wasn't going to set his bride straight then he isn't any better.

Divine Geek · Guru

I can understand giving color guidance, maybe. But only by telling the MOG what the wedding colors are so she doesn't feel like she's clashing. I can't imagine demanding someone wear something they are that uncomfortable with.

She needs to make sure her son is aware of the bride's demands so he can get out whole he still can.

Lady Gaga Snerd · Guru

Southern_Belle wrote:
Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:
Southern_Belle wrote:
I'd wear the green dress and the ugliest sweater I could find over it.
That sounds funny. But, would you really want to act passive aggressive on your son's wedding day?
Maybe. If he wasn't going to set his bride straight then he isn't any better.

Sometimes the adults are supposed to be the adults in the room. Especially the older adults. So, I would just say, i will wear green, but i will not wear a strapless dress. And, leave it at that.

Nobody Just Nobody · Rib-it! Rrrib-it!

Well, this marriage is headed down the toilet. I didn't care what my mom, MIL, or SMIL wore. My mom had three dresses and made a huge production out of changing throughout the day and having the photographer takes shots of her.

ed11563 · Guru

Does the bride really want her MIL to upstage her at the wedding?

Could the MOG hanging out, in the same color as the bride,

get more attention than the bride?

Dumb.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Color - fine.

Dictating strapless? Bite my ass.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Green?

Ok. This FMIL needs to tell her sons fiance off.

I never understood the reluctance to just speak up.

"My dear, I'm sure you think you know better, and while I will keep your color preferences in mind, I will NOT be wearing a strapless dress. As for "being allowed" at the wedding, honey, you are marrying my son. I will be there, regardless of what you have to say. I love you, dear, but you really need to understand that I will only give you the respect as his wife that you afford me as his mother. Do you understand? Good. End of discussion."

Ilumine · Regular

Before we jump all over the B2B, I would like to know exactly what was said.

As in most MIL vs DIL relationships, there is a hers vs hers vs the truth situation at hand. To this day, my MIL tells everyone that I am keeping my husband from moving to MAINE because I don't want him/DD around her side of the family.

What I said, when DH, then BF and I were getting to know each other, was that I would rather not move north of the Mason Dixon line because I grew up in the north and do not like it (and then listed the basic reasons). He mentioned that I'm not fond of the north to MIL in a general conversation about me (again while we were dating) and BAM, i hate Maine and her hometown.

Now, if asked, I will say to everyone that if I could choose where I would live, it would be (insert places in the southern Appalachian and Smokey mountains) but again, not the same as I will never move north and/or let DH move north.

I could totally see MIL asking her son about what she should wear, and her son asking FI. FI replying something like "We are all wearing green and I saw this wonderful strapless dress that I think would look great on FMIL" And then FI saying to MIL "FI wants you to wear this green strapless dress she saw at Macys"

Which happens in the reverse too. God only knows how many times DIL's take innocent questions/comments from MIL and run with how controlling/awful she is, even though if a friend or her side of the family had made the same comment it would be ok.

chef · Guru

I had the opposite problem. My MIL was a MIL-zilla. Everything had to be her way. Both DH and I were steamrolled over. MIL thinks she acted rightly. We leave the past in the past (family harmony) but even DH admits his mom was out of control. I may be the only bride that pretty much hated her own wedding.

As to the OP - I couldn't imagine telling guests what to wear to the wedding and didn't. People who asked got told to wear what they want. My MOH got told the same thing - wear what you want.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I hated my MIL.

But then again, I think I had reason.

She made deer meat, after I told her it makes me sick every time I ate it, told me it was beef, I ate it. It was really good. I like deer meat. But she disguised it and I didn't know it was deer.

I spent the next 12 hours throwing up and needed IVs.

Then she accused me of cheating.

Then she began coming to my house without any notice and only at meal times with her other grandkids.

Then she left her other grandkids at my house without warning and disappeared for 2 days.

Then she called my newborn baby girl nasty names.

THAT'S when I was done with her and told her so.

She never darkened my door again.

Never called, asked about the kids, nothing.

And I was fine with that.

Then, she began messing with my medicaid and the food stamps I was getting after I kicked her no good son out for good.

She called me one last time before she died.

She wanted me to bail out her son.

I laughed and hung up.

FNW · Guru

Ilumine wrote:
Before we jump all over the B2B, I would like to know exactly what was said.

As in most MIL vs DIL relationships, there is a hers vs hers vs the truth situation at hand. To this day, my MIL tells everyone that I am keeping my husband from moving to MAINE because I don't want him/DD around her side of the family.

What I said, when DH, then BF and I were getting to know each other, was that I would rather not move north of the Mason Dixon line because I grew up in the north and do not like it (and then listed the basic reasons). He mentioned that I'm not fond of the north to MIL in a general conversation about me (again while we were dating) and BAM, i hate Maine and her hometown.

Now, if asked, I will say to everyone that if I could choose where I would live, it would be (insert places in the southern Appalachian and Smokey mountains) but again, not the same as I will never move north and/or let DH move north.

I could totally see MIL asking her son about what she should wear, and her son asking FI. FI replying something like "We are all wearing green and I saw this wonderful strapless dress that I think would look great on FMIL" And then FI saying to MIL "FI wants you to wear this green strapless dress she saw at Macys"

Which happens in the reverse too. God only knows how many times DIL's take innocent questions/comments from MIL and run with how controlling/awful she is, even though if a friend or her side of the family had made the same comment it would be ok.

You know, I tend to agree with this. My MIL said some pretty bad things about me, this I am certain, and I tried to be the best DIL ever. Same with sMIL.

I can probably count on one hand how many MILs actually like their DILs. Actually, I take that back. I don't think I could think of one.

Lindley · Guru

FNW wrote:
Ilumine wrote:
Before we jump all over the B2B, I would like to know exactly what was said.

As in most MIL vs DIL relationships, there is a hers vs hers vs the truth situation at hand. To this day, my MIL tells everyone that I am keeping my husband from moving to MAINE because I don't want him/DD around her side of the family.

What I said, when DH, then BF and I were getting to know each other, was that I would rather not move north of the Mason Dixon line because I grew up in the north and do not like it (and then listed the basic reasons). He mentioned that I'm not fond of the north to MIL in a general conversation about me (again while we were dating) and BAM, i hate Maine and her hometown.

Now, if asked, I will say to everyone that if I could choose where I would live, it would be (insert places in the southern Appalachian and Smokey mountains) but again, not the same as I will never move north and/or let DH move north.

I could totally see MIL asking her son about what she should wear, and her son asking FI. FI replying something like "We are all wearing green and I saw this wonderful strapless dress that I think would look great on FMIL" And then FI saying to MIL "FI wants you to wear this green strapless dress she saw at Macys"

Which happens in the reverse too. God only knows how many times DIL's take innocent questions/comments from MIL and run with how controlling/awful she is, even though if a friend or her side of the family had made the same comment it would be ok.

You know, I tend to agree with this. My MIL said some pretty bad things about me, this I am certain, and I tried to be the best DIL ever. Same with sMIL.
I can probably count on one hand how many MILs actually like their DILs. Actually, I take that back. I don't think I could think of one.

I love my Dil. So you know one.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

Ruth and Naomi.

Divine Geek · Guru

I guess I'm lucky. My mom and her MIL (my grandma) had a wonderful relationship. I never heard my mom call her anything but "mom". My mom's mother died when she was 35. My parents were married 44 years when grandma died. So my mom had her MIL in her life longer than her mother. My grandma told my mom not long after she married my dad, "if H (my dad) screws up, you come here, I will take care of you"

So for me, I hear all the horrible stories and just don't get it.

FNW · Guru

That is so nice to hear! I almost had given up hope that MILs & SILs can have genuine feelings (not just fake ones, for the sake of sonny boy).

Lindley · Guru

My mom had more respect for my dad's mother then her own.

Divine Geek · Guru

FNW wrote:
That is so nice to hear! I almost had given up hope that MILs & SILs can have genuine feelings (not just fake ones, for the sake of sonny boy).

My mom's parents died relatively young and her only brother moved to the other side of the country. All she had left were the in-laws. And in this family, we rarely make that distinction. You're just family. Heck, I consider my cousins' cousins family, even though we aren't actually related.

Eta: autocorrect got the best of me.

-- Edited by Divine Geek on Saturday 30th of July 2016 03:33:43 PM

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Divine Geek wrote:
I guess I'm lucky. My mom and her MIL (my grandma) had a wonderful relationship. I never heard my mom call her anything but "mom". My mom's mother died when she was 35. My parents were married 44 years when grandma died. So my mom had her MIL in her life longer than her mother. My grandma told my mom not long after she married my dad, "if H (my dad) screws up, you come here, I will take care of you"

So for me, I hear all the horrible stories and just don't get it.

Your mother probably didn't tell your grandma to wear a strapless. Probably told her she had no preference and to wear whatever. Also, your father was probably a d*ckhead at home and grandma was all too happy to get rid of him. biggrin

Lindley · Guru

I remember when my brother was married to his first wife, my mom just loved her. They were close for quite a few years. I guess she started complaining about my brother to her and to my mom's credit she kept her mouth shut. The straw that broke the camels back was when my sil had my nephews birthday party at my mom and dad's house invited her family over too. Her and her mom started talking about my brother and complaining about him in front of my mom. She finally had to tell them to knock it off.

My mom told me before I married my husband to not criticize him to his mother because as his mother it hurts to see their child put down. As a mother I understand that. My sil,s complaint was m brother never got rich

Divine Geek · Guru

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Divine Geek wrote:
I guess I'm lucky. My mom and her MIL (my grandma) had a wonderful relationship. I never heard my mom call her anything but "mom". My mom's mother died when she was 35. My parents were married 44 years when grandma died. So my mom had her MIL in her life longer than her mother. My grandma told my mom not long after she married my dad, "if H (my dad) screws up, you come here, I will take care of you"

So for me, I hear all the horrible stories and just don't get it.
Your mother probably didn't tell your grandma to wear a strapless. Probably told her she had no preference and to wear whatever. Also, your father was probably a d*ckhead at home and grandma was all too happy to get rid of him.

Lol. My parents eloped. And I am quite sure my grandmother recognized my dad is very like his dad. And they both are/were giant pains in the a$$ at times.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

Just like daughters and mothers have issues, DILs and MILs will have issues. Mine irks me sometimes, but I love her. And I actually get along better with her than my own mother.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

I got along, and loved my MIL and FIL.

I miss them, every day.

I love Jessi, and treat her, like I gave birth to her.

She is part of our family. She's a great person.

Conor did very well, to pick such a nice person, to add to our family. smile

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Fort Worth Mom wrote:
I got along, and loved my MIL and FIL.
I miss them, every day.
I love Jessi, and treat her, like I gave birth to her.
She is part of our family. She's a great person.
Conor did very well, to pick such a nice person, to add to our family.

That is so nice FWM. I hope to have that relationship one day.

lilyofcourse · My spirit animal is a pink flamingo.

I wish I had had that experience.

I hope to have a good relationship with my future DILS and SIL someday.

Been praying for them since I had my kids.

Fort Worth Mom · Mod/Penguin lover/Princess!

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Fort Worth Mom wrote:
I got along, and loved my MIL and FIL.
I miss them, every day.
I love Jessi, and treat her, like I gave birth to her.
She is part of our family. She's a great person.
Conor did very well, to pick such a nice person, to add to our family.

That is so nice FWM. I hope to have that relationship one day.

I hope you do, IKWTDS.

I had such a good experience. My In laws were great !

They became close with my Parents, my sister's and all the family.

Holidays were never a problem.

We would invite everyone...and everyone would show up.

And have a great time. smile

I have great memories, of the good old days.

Momala · Great cook-happy wife-superb fisherman

I was blessed to have the world's B E S T mother-in-law! She told everyone who asked that she thought the sun, the moon, the stars, and all the firmaments rose and set at my command! (And the only thing I did was marry her son, and take on his six children, ages 9-10-12-13-15 & 16). She was a fabulous cook, and for years tried to teach me her secrets on making her meatloaf. We stood side-by-side, with identical ingredients, and utensils, baked at the same time, and hers ALWAYS turned out better!

I miss her terribly. cry

-- Edited by Momala on Saturday 30th of July 2016 08:40:52 PM

chef · Guru

My MIL is fine now and I love her. Could've done without her MIL-zilla performance for DH's and my wedding. Back in May, I accompanied her to Oklahoma for her brother's funeral. I adore MIL's sisters. Two of three of her sisters came to the funeral. T and D have a similar sense of humor as me and we got along fantastically. I miss MIL's brother's wife, G. G was a hoot and a real pleasure to be around.

FIL used to be a real jerk and still is sometimes but time broke him down and he learned that I know his game and can play it better than he can. I don't dread seeing him like I used to.

Mellow Momma · Sniff...sniff, sniff. Yay! A Bum!

My MIL is a horrid woman and my FIL isn't much better. I envy people who have a close relationship with their MIL/FIL.

I know what to do_sometimes · Frozen Sucks!

Lawyerlady wrote:
Just like daughters and mothers have issues, DILs and MILs will have issues. Mine irks me sometimes, but I love her. And I actually get along better with her than my own mother.

Laughing my butt off thinking of you wearing a strapless.

Lawyerlady · On the bright side...... Christmas is coming! (Mod)

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:
Just like daughters and mothers have issues, DILs and MILs will have issues. Mine irks me sometimes, but I love her. And I actually get along better with her than my own mother.
Laughing my butt off thinking of you wearing a strapless.

Agreeing to that condition might be the best revenge. Hah! MIL steals the show when her boobs pop out!

Cheerios4606 · Guru

Hubby and I moved out of state to get away from his mom. That is how bad it was.

FNW · Guru

I suspect DH moved away for the same reasons.

Vette · Owl drink to that!

SO's mom is okay except one time she crossed the line and told me I'm acting crazy and need to check my meds. But he told her off pretty good for that and she's been nice ever since.