DEAR ABBY: I'm a single father raising my four children alone. My problem may seem trivial and minor, but it's extremely taxing for me. My kids refuse to stop talking during my very brief television/movie time.
I work full time and take care of them by myself, and my two-hour escape via a movie or TV show is constantly interrupted. When I point out that what they are doing is rude and even disruptive, I am met with accusations that I "don't care about them" or "You love TV more than me." They somehow turn my anger around to their benefit. Please help. -- ME TIME IN FLORIDA
DEAR ME TIME: Welcome to parenthood! It's a 24-hour-a-day job, seven days a week.
You didn't mention how old your children are, but if they are under the age of 13, they should have a regular bedtime. Once they are in bed, you can have your "me time." However, if they are older, then accept that teenagers may need to communicate with their dad about things that are important, and it is more important to be available to them than to watch television every night.
P.S. Suggestion: Perhaps you can record or stream your shows and watch them at a later time when your kids don't need you.
Oh cry me a river! If he works full time he probably has only 4-5 hours in the evening with the kids. Spending 2 hours parked in front of the tv is a big chunk of that. That doesn't leave a lot of time for each of the 4 kids.
Oh cry me a river! If he works full time he probably has only 4-5 hours in the evening with the kids. Spending 2 hours parked in front of the tv is a big chunk of that. That doesn't leave a lot of time for each of the 4 kids.
I thought that too! 2 hours a day? That is a lot of time to need me time and that comes from the queen of me time.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
"Me time" is not being bothered while using the bathroom.
And you dont always get that!
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
The actual number of minutes he spends watching tv is less important than the way his kids feel about it. The kids are saying he loves TV more than he loves them. That is the real problem. His kids feel neglected and he needs to ensure they don't. He is asking for a lot - 2 hours is ridiculous.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Wow. 2 hours to yourself after a day of working and caring for kids is ridiculous?
I agree there are issues, but to me, the ages of the kids really matters, so I wish that was included. However, them saying "you love TV more than me" says they are about 10-13. Younger than that wouldn't put that together, and older than that would be happy Dad was ignoring them.
I find all sorts of issues with this letter, but my biggest one is that the man can't even parent enough that his children fell it's ok to ignore what he tells them completely. The family has all sorts of issues - and the TV is just a symptom.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I don't know. There is a point where kids have to understand that everything isn't all about them. That other people have needs and wants too and that sometimes what they want has to take a back seat. I assume that since he has 4 kids that maybe some of them are pretty young. But there is no reason you can't expect kids to play quietly and entertain themselves for some periods of time. That is part of the problem with kids today is that someone has to entertain them all the time.
Exactly. I can't recall having 2 hours to myself while the kids were awake, on a school night. Get home at 5 at the earliest more like 6 or 6:30, make dinner, eat dinner, clean up, get homework started, throw some laundry in, check up on homework, get kids making lunches for the next day and picking out clothes, read their assigned book, it's easily 8-9 o'clock by now. And that's a night without any activities...
He needs to revaluate his priorities.
-- Edited by Mellow Momma on Sunday 14th of August 2016 12:29:16 PM
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
My kids are in bed by 8 or 8:30. Then I get some me time. After lunches are made, clothes are folded, house picked up, etc. I'm lucky to see 30 minutes before I pass out.
When you are single, there is no one to pass the kids off to.
When I wasn't working, I was with them.
This dad is disconnecting for some reason.
Why he is single could provide some clues.
Maybe he is depressed?
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I don't know. There is a point where kids have to understand that everything isn't all about them. That other people have needs and wants too and that sometimes what they want has to take a back seat. I assume that since he has 4 kids that maybe some of them are pretty young. But there is no reason you can't expect kids to play quietly and entertain themselves for some periods of time. That is part of the problem with kids today is that someone has to entertain them all the time.
Yes, kids constantly want attention, but they need to learn to entertain themselves, too.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My Dad's "TV time" was football on Sunday. We knew better than to talk through it. If we forgot & started talking we were shushed. He was available to us any other time but Sunday was his down time.
My father used to watch, "Wide World of Sports." That was his down time. If he had time to relax. He worked. Constantly. When he wasn't working 2-3 jobs, he was working around the house. He remodeled, added on, fixed anything that needed fixing. And when he wasn't working on the house, he was servicing his cars. Or landscaping. Or tree trimming. And we were helping. If not, we were all swimming together in our pool, or he was teaching one of us how to ride a bike, skateboard, throw a ball, etc.
And today, on his 78th birthday, he hasn't changed. He's still a constant motion. And a fix-it guy. He just repaired my linear turntable that was collecting dust in the basement for 12 years. For those of you who were born yesterday, that's an electronic that plays vinyl records. How we used to listen to music before CDs and iPhones.
