DEAR ABBY: I am a retired librarian who lives in Texas. I am what around here is called "Anglo," meaning white and not Hispanic. I speak four languages, with varying degrees of proficiency.
Recently, a friend who is Hispanic told me that if an Anglo speaks Spanish to a Hispanic person, it's considered an insult because it implies that the Hispanic person is "too stupid" to learn English. I had never heard of this before, so I asked a retired college-level Spanish teacher who is also Anglo. She informed me that Hispanic people use the language difference as a "boundary," and my speaking Spanish to them was a violation of their boundaries.
It came as a complete shock! This happened more than a month ago, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I spent a lifetime developing language skills. I always considered speaking another language to be a sign of respect and friendship. Now I'm being told that it's insulting and intrusive?
I can't believe all Hispanic people feel this way, but I don't know what to do with this information. My next-door neighbors are Spanish-speaking. I've always spoken to them in Spanish because it's what I heard from them when I first met them. Now I don't know if I've been insulting them. What should I do? -- IN SHOCK IN SAN ANTONIO
DEAR IN SHOCK: After reading your letter, I polled a focus group of Spanish-speaking friends about it. Some said it didn't bother them, but the majority explained that the reaction may depend upon how long the family has been in this country. If it has been several generations, the people you are addressing might identify more as English speakers than Spanish speakers, and consider your addressing them in Spanish to be condescending because it implies that you don't think they have learned English.
So the rule of thumb would be: Assume that everyone speaks English; then if it turns out they don't, use their language.
P.S. If your relationship with your neighbors is a good one, tell them what you were told and ask if you may have offended them because if you have, you would like to apologize.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I can't believe this to be true. If I spoke a language other than English and someone spoke to me in that language I would be thrilled to be able to communicate. If I spoke English and another language, it would be fun to find someone I could talk with in either language.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Around here English speaking Hispanic people are delighted when someone speaks Spanish to them. They don't see it as an insult. It's usually not until someone learns they are from whichever Spanish speaking country and then they have a conversation in Spanish.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Yeah I wouldn't care, it's my right to speak whatever language I want. I work around a ton of Hispanics and they are delighted when I speak to them in Spanish.
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Was it a bad day?
Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
DD works with a lot of Spanish speaking folks and they gladly teach her words and phrases. When she uses them they are more than happy. She gets better results from those folks than any other person because she takes the time to speak to them in their language.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
I enjoy watching their faces when they are talking back and forth in Spanish, thinking I don't understand, then I chime in-in English. That usually shocks them back into English.
I'm going to dissent. It is rude to speak to people that you don't know in Spanish because they look Hispanic. I know many Hispanic people who do not speak Spanish at all. Try English first, then switch to Spanish if they don't speak English or if you both want to speak in Spanish.
I'm going to dissent. It is rude to speak to people that you don't know in Spanish because they look Hispanic. I know many Hispanic people who do not speak Spanish at all. Try English first, then switch to Spanish if they don't speak English or if you both want to speak in Spanish.
Well I don't think that is dissent. I think that is proper, but if you find out someone speaks spanish and you do too, why not speak spanish if you want?
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I enjoy watching their faces when they are talking back and forth in Spanish, thinking I don't understand, then I chime in-in English. That usually shocks them back into English.
And that is just rude of them.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I'm going to dissent. It is rude to speak to people that you don't know in Spanish because they look Hispanic. I know many Hispanic people who do not speak Spanish at all. Try English first, then switch to Spanish if they don't speak English or if you both want to speak in Spanish.
I agree. Don't just assume by how they look. But if you hear them speaking Spanish, it should not be considered rude to speak to them in Spanish.
The LW is a librarian. My assumption is she would hear people speaking to their companion while waiting in line. So when they reached the counter, she would speak Spanish to them. That used to happen often when I worked at a bank, and I wished I knew how to speak to them in the language they were most comfortable with.
I could take orders and communicate with my employees.
Give instructions and such.
But I had a bad experience with a Mexican chic at the carpet place I worked.
I made sure everyone got the right labels for the packs they put together.
I would sometimes ask if my sample was what they had.
I asked her to help me ask in Spanish for the ones who did not speak english.
She taught me to say something about screwing their man.
I fired her.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
My area is predominantly Hispanic. I've never had someone get offended when I speak with them in Spanish. I do try English first but get a look of confusion fairly often.
DS is learning Spanish from his friends. It's fun hearing what all he's learned.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I had an older cousin who would speak louder to Hispanic people.
It was so funny.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
