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ed11563


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I was driving and hit a 5-year-old child.
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Dear Prudence,
I was driving and hit a 5-year-old child. I was not charged, as there was no speed or alcohol involved—he ran out onto the road while his mother was momentarily distracted. He was left with severe and permanent disabilities. I was a couple of days away from starting a new job but couldn’t work because I was in so much shock. I get panic attacks at the thought of driving and it’s difficult to even be around children. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and I know I need help, but I have no insurance and can’t afford it. I was told I need to sue the parents of the child to get a payout from their insurance, which would then pay for my treatment. On one hand, I desperately want some kind of psychological treatment. But the thought of suing the parents at the worst time of their life—that seems like pure evil. What would you do in my situation?

 

—Should I Sue?

What a horrible situation to be in. I don’t know who told you that your only option to pay for treatment is to sue the child’s parents, but I hope that you’re able to seek a second opinion before going down that road. I spoke to a lawyer (who does not specialize in personal injury), and she confirmed that this practice is a not infrequent one:

It’s pretty common to make a claim against someone else’s insurance company in situations like this. … It happens if you’re at a relative’s house and you fall on their icy steps and break an ankle, or get bitten by their dog and need medical care. This is one of the reasons why people have homeowner’s insurance in the first place, so that if accidents like this happen, they aren’t personally liable for the injuries. A personal injury attorney will help (you don’t have to pay up front, they get a commission) so you wouldn’t have to navigate this process alone.

That said, there’s a wide gulf between what is acceptable legal practice and what is morally conscionable, and I simply can’t tell you to pursue this option, at least not without exhausting every other avenue available to you first. You do have a few avenues to explore:

  • This searchable database of HRSA health centers offers a list of mental health services available to patients with no insurance.
  • Call the National Suicide Hotline or the SAMHSA referral helpline to find treatment services in your area—even if you’re not in immediate danger of harming yourself, they can provide you with a list of free or sliding-scale local services and clinics.
  • Contact your local branch of the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
  • Your local Mental Health America affiliate is an excellent resource for information about local programs and services including affordable treatment services.
  • Contact local legal aid to see about filing for disability—if the mental and emotional trauma from your accident has made you unable to work, you may be eligible for disability services.

But the type of care you need is long-term, highly specialized, and intensive, and may be difficult to find through the patchwork system of low-to-no-cost emergency mental health services. It’s a testament to how irreparably screwed our health insurance system is that suing the family of the boy you hit with your car is the best option you have for receiving treatment for your guilt and PTSD. Readers may recall the New York woman who sued her 8-year-old nephew last year after he accidentally broke her wrist. She received nothing but public scorn and a $0 settlement but in her case filing claimed that the insurance company for her nephew’s parents had only offered her $1 to cover her medical costs, and that she needed the money to pay for multiple necessary surgeries.

I can’t imagine how awful it would feel to sue that little boy’s parents for an insurance payment and lose. I also can’t imagine how painful it would be for you to forgo necessary treatment in order to avoid causing this family more anguish. If there are any options available to you other than suing, I think you will suffer less, and gain more, in pursuing them. Leave the lawsuit as your last, worst choice. I hope very much that you take good care of yourself. I’m so sorry for everything that you and this family have had to go through. You also asked me what I would do in your situation. This is not my advice, just an honest answer: I don’t think I could do it.



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karl271


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Hit a 5 year old child, not charged with anything; the child has severe and permanent injuries. And the writer wants to sue the parents?? What kind of La-La Land are people living in these days? Panic attacks at the thought of driving (don't drive) and when around

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karl271


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Something went wrong here and the message posted before I was done writing.
And difficult to be around children. Put on your big boy or big girl pants and get over it.

But suing the parents?? Is this a real letter?? LL, have you run into anything like this during the time you have been practicing law?

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Actually, the LW should be going to his/her own auto insurance company for the medical expenses, they in turn will make a claim against the home owners insurance, won't they? The way our insurance systems work is the the companies battle it out, the policy holders don't have to participate in the legalities.

It sure is an awful situation. if the LW was physically injured, who would be paying for those medical bills? That is the answer.

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Divine Geek


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Go to their church/pastor. Most have free counseling or at the very least can help with resources. And if this person does not have a pastor to go to, I suggest they find one. Some prayer and true forgiveness would go a long way.

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I think that suing the parents is something to consider. Some people are aholes and take no mind of their kids at all.

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The case of the woman who sued her nephew was the same situation. She had to do it in order to get the insurance companies to pay up. The insurance companies often won't pay for anything unless there is a judgement against the policy holder. The only way to get that is to sue. Her insurance company says it is the mother's fault and so they won't cover it. The mother's insurance company won't cover it because they say it's the driver's fault. The only way to sort it out is in court.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Parents are on the hook for their children who cause damage intentionally or not. It really depends on the situation. Kids can dart out in a second. That is simply an accident. On the other hand if the 5 year old was unobserved for hours then that would seem to rise to a different level. However, i doubt there is much to be gained by suing. The cost of a lawyer is going to a lot more than a couple trips to the pyschologist. Sorry, but crap happens in life and you have to pay for it yourself. And, do you really think some jury is going to award this person big money with an injured child sitting on the other side? Of course not.
But, yes, hitting a child with your car would be very pyschologically scarring to that person who was probably just driving along minding their own business when this child ran out. It would give anyone nightmares. But, there was no fault, so you have to move on.

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Lindley


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My heart goes out to the lw. You think about the parent and child involved but I never hear (hardly) about the driver involved.

Yesterday there were at least two parents z I would have sued. I was driving in a parking lot and a idiot walked out in front of me pushing a stroller and never even looked to see if any cars are coming, no sooner as I went around a curve another idiot walks across with two little kids and he never even bothered to even attempt to look.

I'm a experienced driver but, if a new young driver not experienced enough to watch their surroundings or a elderly person who's reflexes aren't there who knows.


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Lawyerlady


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karl271 wrote:

Something went wrong here and the message posted before I was done writing.
And difficult to be around children. Put on your big boy or big girl pants and get over it.

But suing the parents?? Is this a real letter?? LL, have you run into anything like this during the time you have been practicing law?

 The question, karl, is - who is at fault here? The driver?  No.  The child's parents?  Arguably, yes.   So, yes, I've seen this.  I've never done it - I would not, but going after someone else's insurance is common practice.  



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lilyofcourse


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This is absurd.

Sue the parents?

The child was a pedestrian, you yield to pedestrians.

The fault is with the driver.

What was distracting the LW that they hit a kid?

I can't believe anyone would suggest the LW sue the parents of the victim.

Selfish world.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

This is absurd.

Sue the parents?

The child was a pedestrian, you yield to pedestrians.

The fault is with the driver.

What was distracting the LW that they hit a kid?

I can't believe anyone would suggest the LW sue the parents of the victim.

Selfish world.

 A child darting into the road is not a pedestrian.  You really think this was at a cross walk?  The driver has already been determined NOT to be at fault by the police investigating. 



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Lady Gaga Snerd


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How is that selfish? The driver was minding his own business. He didn't crwate the situation.

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Vette


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If you want to go the "pedestrian" route, I'm guessing like LL said, the child was probably not at a crosswalk. Jay walking is illegal.

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lilyofcourse


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Minding his own business?

You have to be aware of more than your own business when driving.

Yes.

The child, a 5 year old is not a 2 year old, ran into the street and was hit by a car.

There is now a lifetime of pain and disability affecting the entire family.

The family is paying in ways none of us will ever be able to fathom.

But this driver, who can't legally be held accountable but that doesn't mean they are completely innocent, is wanting to compound the pain of the family.

 

The way I see it. The driver should be thankful they were not held accountable and seek out help on their own.

I understand the driver is having real issues.

But the situation could be a whole other level of Hell had that child died.

 



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Charley Harper
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Actually, the LW says others have told them to sue. And the letter is asking for advice if that is the proper course.

This is a horrible situation all around.

Pedestrians do have a duty of care. You cannot just walk into traffic and not be held responsible.

Would I sue? No. but I am lucky enough to have a support system that wouldn't make that necessary. I don't know what I would do in the LW's situation.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Minding his own business?

You have to be aware of more than your own business when driving.

Yes.

The child, a 5 year old is not a 2 year old, ran into the street and was hit by a car.

There is now a lifetime of pain and disability affecting the entire family.

The family is paying in ways none of us will ever be able to fathom.

But this driver, who can't legally be held accountable but that doesn't mean they are completely innocent, is wanting to compound the pain of the family.

 

The way I see it. The driver should be thankful they were not held accountable and seek out help on their own.

I understand the driver is having real issues.

But the situation could be a whole other level of Hell had that child died.

 

 It isn't the drivers' fault if someone runs into the path of their car.  You seem to be assuming some guilt on the part of the driver of which none was found.  You can't stop your car instantaneously.  The kid could have run out from between 2 cars or any number of things.  It's a shame and it's terrible for the family.  However, i have said that i doubt that suing is really going to accomplish anything.  



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Lawyerlady


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lilyofcourse wrote:

Minding his own business?

You have to be aware of more than your own business when driving.

Yes.

The child, a 5 year old is not a 2 year old, ran into the street and was hit by a car.

There is now a lifetime of pain and disability affecting the entire family.

The family is paying in ways none of us will ever be able to fathom.

But this driver, who can't legally be held accountable but that doesn't mean they are completely innocent, is wanting to compound the pain of the family.

 

The way I see it. The driver should be thankful they were not held accountable and seek out help on their own.

I understand the driver is having real issues.

But the situation could be a whole other level of Hell had that child died.

 

 And yet, had the child not run out into the street, this wouldn't have happened at all.  And since you can't really blame a 5 year old, the blame falls squarely on the parents that let him do it - for whatever reason.  

 

 



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karl271


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Thank you, LL, for your comments on the thread. I can understand what you are saying and have to agree with it...

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lilyofcourse


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I've stated my thoughts on this subject.

I think it's selfish to think of suing the parents of the child you hit.

Tacky, selfish, self centered, thoughess, and just plain wrong.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

I've stated my thoughts on this subject.

I think it's selfish to think of suing the parents of the child you hit.

Tacky, selfish, self centered, thoughess, and just plain wrong.

 And what if the driver had had the time to react, swerve, hit another car, and die or kill someone else?  



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LawyerLady

 

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lilyofcourse


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What if. What if. What if.

What if could keep us busy for the rest of time.

This is my thoughts and opinions on this situation.



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The cause doesn't change. It was not the driver's fault and her life has been ruined.

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lilyofcourse


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And so has an entire family's life.

There are times you cut your loss and move on.

This is that for the driver.

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lilyofcourse wrote:

I've stated my thoughts on this subject.

I think it's selfish to think of suing the parents of the child you hit.

Tacky, selfish, self centered, thoughess, and just plain wrong.

 But it's the insurance company the LW would be suing, not the parents personally.  It isn't selfish.  This person is injured through no fault of their own.



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lilyofcourse wrote:

And so has an entire family's life.

There are times you cut your loss and move on.

This is that for the driver.

 The difference being - IT IS THEIR FAULT.



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It isnt' necessarily anyone's fault. Accidents happen. We dont' always have to blame someone for every unfortunate incident in life. The parents could have been good parents. Kids can do unexpected, unpredictable things. Every parent has had a time where their kid was found doing something they didn't realize they were doing, ran off for a second or all manner of things, but nothing bad happened. That doesn't mean these were bad parents either. Terrible things happen to good people.

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Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

It isnt' necessarily anyone's fault. Accidents happen. We dont' always have to blame someone for every unfortunate incident in life. The parents could have been good parents. Kids can do unexpected, unpredictable things. Every parent has had a time where their kid was found doing something they didn't realize they were doing, ran off for a second or all manner of things, but nothing bad happened. That doesn't mean these were bad parents either. Terrible things happen to good people.

 Accidents are usually caused by negligence of someone.  It is not always the type of negligence we "blame" people for, but if everyone did things exactly as they should - accidents would rarely, if ever, happen.

 

But people are not perfect, and so they do.  That's why we carry insurance. 



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karl - do foreign people in Japan still carry that insurance in case they hurt someone? I forget what it is called. But, when I was there, it was tradition that if you caused injury to someone, you were responsible for helping care for them forever. Since us foreigners wouldn't be there forever, we carried insurance to cover that, JIC.

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Lawyerlady wrote:

karl - do foreign people in Japan still carry that insurance in case they hurt someone? I forget what it is called. But, when I was there, it was tradition that if you caused injury to someone, you were responsible for helping care for them forever. Since us foreigners wouldn't be there forever, we carried insurance to cover that, JIC.

 We have a lot of issues with our team in Japan and driving, almost every infraction is a "crime".  Always involves the PD and a lengthy interrogation and loss of license.  They love to arrest Americans, it placates the locals.  Many times the locals will try to sue the drivers.



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karl271


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LL, as far as I know that insurance is no longer required. The idea of caring for someone forever has kind of gone out; a one time settlement is enough.

IKWTDS. Probably getting back for all the diplomatic plates where drivers are completely in control and ignore all kinds of laws. Of course nothing can be done and maybe this is why the Police are overly zealous when a foreigner has even a small accident. The lady next door is from Taiwan and she slightly scraped the fender of a car belonging to a Japanese. You would have thought she hit him, drew and quartered him and then ran the remains through a grinder. The police treated her very poorly, yelled and then talked as though she were a child, using very simple words. She was livid. But nothing you can do; no recourse over here as yet. So I am not sure they single out Americans.

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karl271 wrote:

LL, as far as I know that insurance is no longer required. The idea of caring for someone forever has kind of gone out; a one time settlement is enough.

IKWTDS. Probably getting back for all the diplomatic plates where drivers are completely in control and ignore all kinds of laws. Of course nothing can be done and maybe this is why the Police are overly zealous when a foreigner has even a small accident. The lady next door is from Taiwan and she slightly scraped the fender of a car belonging to a Japanese. You would have thought she hit him, drew and quartered him and then ran the remains through a grinder. The police treated her very poorly, yelled and then talked as though she were a child, using very simple words. She was livid. But nothing you can do; no recourse over here as yet. So I am not sure they single out Americans.

 That is good to know.



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