DEAR ABBY: I am an African-American woman who was in a relationship with a Hispanic man. I am now a single parent of a beautiful 6-month-old son who is my pride and joy.
My biracial son, who looks exactly like me, is very fair-skinned. My problem is, any time I leave the house with him, strangers feel the need to ask me rude questions. I have been asked about my child’s father’s ethnicity, and asked if I was baby-sitting someone else’s child.
I’m left flabbergasted and speechless. What should I say the next time a stranger asks about my son’s race, which is none of their business? — COLORBLIND IN TEXAS
DEAR COLORBLIND: It’s normal for people to be curious. If I were you, I wouldn’t tell them it’s none of their business because if you do, you will come across as angry and defensive. When your son is older, it may make him wonder if there is something wrong with his appearance.
A better way to handle it would be to matter-of-factly just tell the truth and move on.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
OH, I don't agree with Abby on this one. My response would be something along the lines of "Do you really think my son's parentage is the business of any stranger?"
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
This happened to DH every time he left the house with DD's. He is a ginger and they both look nothing like him. He pretty much put people on ignore and didn't even answer. If he had to answer he gave them a MM look and responded factually in a very terse manner. People asked me all the time if they were his kids, where they "came from" and who their "real dad" was. It's ignorant. But you have to learn to deal with the ignorant public.
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Out of all the lies I have told, "just kidding" is my favorite !
Oh, hells, bells. When I walked the boys in their stroller around the neighborhood, one of my neighbors came running out (we had never met before) and asked if they were mine. I said, "I think so." She then mentioned that we had a lot of nannies in the neighborhood. My guess is because of my age and the fact that she never saw me before, she wasn't certain.
One time I was having breakfast with the boys at Bob Evans and the waiter referred to me to the boys as grandma. The boys screeched, "grandma?" I said, "Well, his tip just went down" and I winked at him.
I have found it's better to joke about their ignorance and make light of it. It's a much more effective way to get your point across, and brings some levity to what could be an awkward situation for the boys.
I fail to see why we as an advanced society should continue to placate rude behavior. Of all the times to educate someone on how poorly they are acting, a stranger boldly questioning a child's parentage is one of them. "What is his ethnicity? Who is his father? What on earth would make it important enough for me to tell a stranger as to what race is father and I are? He is OUR son and that is all you need to understand. Or perhaps you wouldn't mind offering up your family tree first before I answer your rude questions."
They were really close in age and we're like stair steps.
Had some one ask if they all had the same father.
I said no, two were my brothers.
You should have seen their face.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
My wife and I were in a coffee shop years ago with my niece who was a year old then and is full blooded Japanese. A middle aged woman came over and inspected the baby and then announced that foreign babies were so much cuter than Japanese babies.... Neither of us said a word but still get a laugh out of it (and so does my niece now that she is grown up). Just amazing the assumptions people make and the ignorance they display....
When I was a nanny, I had the baby at the club beach (yes, country club) and a man came up, knowing full well who the child's parents were, to discuss with me, the nanny, that there was no way that child was really theirs, because Jewish babies were not red headed with blue eyes. I could NOT believe it. I just said yes, she's adopted (it was not a secret), but they were most definitely her parents. And I said it very coldly. He walked away after that.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
When I go out with DD and DS, especially to a restaurant, you can see the questions in people's minds; Did she rob the cradle and have a baby with a much younger man or is she the grandmother. It was mostly fun when DD was a baby/toddler. Although, there is no denying their heritage or if I am related.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
When I go out with DD and DS, especially to a restaurant, you can see the questions in people's minds; Did she rob the cradle and have a baby with a much younger man or is she the grandmother. It was mostly fun when DD was a baby/toddler. Although, there is no denying their heritage or if I am related.
You missed it, but a guy running one of the games at the fair referred to me as the girl's mom.
I remember when I was, oh, 21 or 22, I was in a store with my 16 and 12 year old brothers. They were messing around in the line and the lady said "now you boys mind your mother!"
Umm....I guess I look old enough to have near adult children!
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Was it a bad day?
Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
