Dear Carolyn: I am a stepparent to a teenage girl who has recently moved in with us while her mom works in another city. So last week I got buttonholed by another kid’s parent for one of those, “You’re not a real parent, so I just wanted to let you know . . . ” talks. This other parent’s son had asked the Kid out to a school dance, Kid said, “Thanks, but no,” and asked out her crush. (He said yes, my door hinges thank him.)
According to the other parent, if she didn’t want to go with the first boy who asked her, then she can’t go at all and should stay at home knitting her nun’s habit or something.
Is this a thing? Or is this other parent just being a tool because her son got his feelings hurt?
Dance With the One That Brought You?
Dance With the One That Brought You?: No, it’s not a thing, she can dance if she wants to.
Also not a thing: “those, ‘You’re not a real parent, so I just wanted to let you know . . . ’ talks.” Even if they are a thing, please treat them as if they are not, because the surest way to alienate your fellow parents as you negotiate this newish role is to approach them as if you are the eye-rolling rebel to their monolithic sense of superiority. They’re doing their thing; you’re doing yours. Take each exchange as a conversation unto itself.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My first reaction is that this is ridiculous. Of course she can go to the dance. But thinking further, I remember this being a thing when I was in high school. I remember girls being worried about someone they didn't like asking them and having to chose between going with them or staying home.
I was asked by someone I didn't like. Well, I liked him, but we were friends and I thought it would be weird. I stayed home, but not because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but because the guy I liked was older and out of school and he did not want to go with me.
This "not a parent" should have told the other parent to where to stuff it and how.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
So basically... if you want to go to the dance, you have to go with the first guy that asks you, otherwise you are forced to stay home. I would have had a real good laugh at the mom trying to push that reasoning off on me.
I never accepted any invitation to a school dance.
There were about 12 of us who went together and we danced with everyone.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
