Dear Carolyn: I’m trying to figure out a graceful way to stop my brother and sister-in-law from making absolute fools of themselves. They just completed a remodel of their kitchen and want to have a party to “celebrate” — as in, show it off.
The first problem is that there’s nothing special about their remodel. It was really basic: new cabinets, floor, countertops, a coat of paint. That’s it.
The second problem is that this party is going to come off as a total gift grab. They say they don’t expect gifts, but I know people receiving the invites are going to think it’s required. I even did a poll at my workplace, and most people agreed with me that upon getting a “kitchen reveal” invite, they probably would think a gift was in order.
I tried explaining to my brother that when my husband and I did a huge remodel of our kitchen three years ago — total gut job, kitchen island, all new appliances, the works — we didn’t find it necessary to have a “reveal” party. But my brother is totally guided by his wife, who is a very sweet woman but not socially savvy at all. I cringe every time I think of how clueless and greedy this party is going to make them look, even though they seem to have the best intentions.
(Nick Galifianakis/for The Washington Post)
Should I try to do more to prevent this disaster, or do I need to back off and let them suffer the consequences of their stubbornness?
Cringing
Cringing: Or (c) Do you let them be themselves, as-is, which is what their friends probably/presumably love about them?
Or (d) Why do you care so much?
You can choose not to go, too, and instead luxuriate in your far superior kitchen.
Re: Kitchen Reveal: We had a kitchen “reveal” after a remodel project, and it was a BOATLOAD of fun. Yeah, one or two people brought gifts — that kind of surprised me — but mostly we drank and ate and generally made a lot of noise and just showed off how happy we were about the work. I looked at it as a way to have a party, to break in the new kitchen after months of cooking on the grill in the rain, and showing off the work, and sharing with the neighbors who lived through the noise, dust and a giant dumpster.
Anonymous
Anonymous: I.e., sometimes a party is just a party. Thanks.
-- Edited by Lawyerlady on Wednesday 11th of January 2017 07:30:13 AM
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
She's jealous. I think a kitchen reveal party sounds like a blast. I wish I had thought of doing one. I know I would jump at the chance to attend one, especially in my neighborhood, for ideas, etc. But I'm nosy like that. LOL
Did it say anywhere in the letter that she was actually invited?
She gives herself far too much importance.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Perhaps she is the elder sister and has not gotten over the fact that she can no longer dictate what her brother does or does not do. I have know a few elder sisters that just cannot drop the role once their younger brothers and sisters have married and have their own families....
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