DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He’s eight years younger than I am. We have a great relationship except for our world views. While I am liberal, he is very racist.
When the subject comes up, our conversations can become very heated. I believe everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but both of us have a hard time validating our opinions for each other.
My boyfriend never directs his racist comments toward anyone in particular, but it’s hard for me not to take it that way. One of my best friends is African-American, and my son is currently dating someone who is biracial.
How do we agree to disagree without anyone being upset or hurt in the end? — OPEN-MINDED IN INDIANAPOLIS
DEAR OPEN-MINDED: After two years of togetherness, your boyfriend knows full well that one of your best friends is African-American and that your son is dating someone who is biracial.
You may never be able to broaden his mindset, but the next time he makes a racist remark, if you haven’t already, tell him you don’t want to hear it because it makes you uncomfortable. And while you’re at it, make sure he understands that if he says anything that could possibly hurt your friend or your son, the romance will be history.
P.S. You must be desperate for companionship to have tolerated this for two years.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I'm curious what she means by racist, if it is because he doesn't agree with her politically or a true racist. Either way if she can't live with his difference of political views or he is a hateful jerk she should break up with him.
I would be curious to know what she considers racist as well, since she's a liberal and they have a tendency to label anyone who does not agree with them.
I agree that he might not actually be racist. But she thinks he is. And he knows what he says upsets her and still continues. There is no mutual respect here and they should not be together.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
One of my best friends is African-American, and my son is currently dating someone who is biracial.
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typical lib--this tired old cliche
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" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He’s eight years younger than I am. We have a great relationship except for our world views. While I am liberal, he is very racist.
Oh, I am so glad you made the distinction for us. Cuz we all know the opposite of liberal is racist, right? ;)
When the subject comes up, our conversations can become very heated. I believe everyone is entitled to his/her opinion, but both of us have a hard time validating our opinions for each other.
My boyfriend never directs his racist comments toward anyone in particular, but it’s hard for me not to take it that way.
For example? Yes, I need examples cuz what YOU label as being racist doesnt always qualify as being a 'racist' comment. It is simply DIFFERENT from your own opinion.
One of my best friends is African-American, and my son is currently dating someone who is biracial.
How do we agree to disagree without anyone being upset or hurt in the end? — OPEN-MINDED IN INDIANAPOLIS
DEAR OPEN-MINDED: After two years of togetherness, your boyfriend knows full well that one of your best friends is African-American and that your son is dating someone who is biracial.
You may never be able to broaden his mindset, but the next time he makes a racist remark, if you haven’t already, tell him you don’t want to hear it because it makes you uncomfortable. And while you’re at it, make sure he understands that if he says anything that could possibly hurt your friend or your son, the romance will be history.
P.S. You must be desperate for companionship to have tolerated this for two years.
My answers in blue.
-- Edited by Cheerios4606 on Monday 13th of February 2017 03:47:03 PM
He may also not see the problem between them. I've recently (ever since Donald Trump's rise in the election preliminaries) been witness to many people seeing things that don't really exist because they want to see them.
Either way, I think they will both find happiness if they look for it with other people (after breaking up, of course).
