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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Carolyn - My boyfriend DROPPED ME OFF at the ER
Lawyerlady


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Dear Carolyn - My boyfriend DROPPED ME OFF at the ER
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Hi, Carolyn: Yesterday I had a health scare and ended up in the ER for hours. My partner drove me there and picked me back up, but when we got back home, he said he was going out for a beer with his friends.

 

I was fine watching shows and resting, but I’m put out that he didn’t even ask if I wanted him to stay with me. I’m actually thinking of ending the relationship over this; if he had been in the ER, I would have been by his side that evening even if he thought he was fine. Am I overreacting?

Unsupported?

Unsupported?: Nope.

I’ll admit my bias upfront: I had a similar experience early in a relationship. His vanishing when I was at my most vulnerable became a theme and eventually broke us up.

It’s why I’ve watched “The Wedding Singer” a number of times that approaches embarrassing.

So, do with these two points what you will.

You can also decide he’s simply not a good source of something you value — in itself, grounds to break up.

Hope you’re on the mend.



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My ex stayed home when I was stranded on the I-210 Freeway after a car accident. He told me to call Jan (Jan was a friend of his who owned a towing company).

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The OP should run. Fast and far.

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The OP should provide more info such as is she a chronic complainer? What was the health issue? Yeah down on Hypochondriacs tonight.

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Divine Geek


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My questions:

How long has this partner been around? If they've been dating a short time, I can understand where he's coming from

How many of these "health scares" has she had? Maybe this is a common thing for her, so he knows not to get worked up about each one. That was me with my ex, he was always having some kind of crisis. It got hard to get too worried.

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Divine Geek wrote:

My questions:

How long has this partner been around? If they've been dating a short time, I can understand where he's coming from

How many of these "health scares" has she had? Maybe this is a common thing for her, so he knows not to get worked up about each one. That was me with my ex, he was always having some kind of crisis. It got hard to get too worried.

 You dated my ex husband?



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Divine Geek


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I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Divine Geek wrote:

My questions:

How long has this partner been around? If they've been dating a short time, I can understand where he's coming from

How many of these "health scares" has she had? Maybe this is a common thing for her, so he knows not to get worked up about each one. That was me with my ex, he was always having some kind of crisis. It got hard to get too worried.

 You dated my ex husband?

 I don't know, lets see, did he then get all mad and pouty when you didn't react "appropriately" to the latest non-issue? like the LW?



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Divine Geek wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:
Divine Geek wrote:

My questions:

How long has this partner been around? If they've been dating a short time, I can understand where he's coming from

How many of these "health scares" has she had? Maybe this is a common thing for her, so he knows not to get worked up about each one. That was me with my ex, he was always having some kind of crisis. It got hard to get too worried.

 You dated my ex husband?

 I don't know, lets see, did he then get all mad and pouty when you didn't react "appropriately" to the latest non-issue? like the LW?

 yes, this is scary.



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Lawyerlady


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Y'all are projecting.

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LawyerLady

 

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Divine Geek


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Lawyerlady wrote:

Y'all are projecting.

 Some, yes. We fill in the gaps with what we know. 



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Divine Geek wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

Y'all are projecting.

 Some, yes. We fill in the gaps with what we know. 

 It's more fun that way!



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Tangerine


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She's allowed to break up with him for any reason. If she felt like he treated her badly, she shoukd break up with him.

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Vette


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I think he's a butthole

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just Czech


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She was obviously fine when she got home or they wouldn't have sent her home.

She was fine with watching shows and resting until he decided to go out with friends for a beer.

He didn't need her permission to go out with friends.

Just because she would stay with him, and he was fine, doesn't mean he has to do the same.

Oh the drama..

If you want a guy who's going to wait on you, even though you are fine, you need to find a guy willing to wait on you when you are fine.

Let this one go, he doesn't meet your needs.

And I have a hunch, you have a lot of needs.

Something in the letter says "drama queen".

He really is not that into you either.

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She's allowed to break up with him for any reason. If she felt like he treated her badly, she should break up with him.
- Tangerine

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I agree with this.

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Lenni


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My partner drove me there and picked me back up, but when we got back home, he said he was going out for a beer with his friends

WTH???no

She should dump him ASAP.



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Mary Zombie


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I'd dump him too for being an Arse.

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burns07


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well, isn't like she had a gunshot wound or something--what exactly constitutes a " health scare " in her world?--agree, she's likely a drama queen



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Cheerios4606


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yeaahhhhhh I have a hypochondriac family member, so before I say dump him, I am gonna wanna need more info on whether this gal does this on a regular basis.

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Mary Zombie


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I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

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Vette


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Mary Zombie wrote:

I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

 



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Mary Zombie wrote:

I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

 Yep.



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just Czech


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I'm not even sure a woman wrote the letter..

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just Czech wrote:

I'm not even sure a woman wrote the letter..

Now that you mention that...I'm not sure, either.

And, it shouldn't matter.

The bottom line for me is, if you love someone, you will hang out with them, in the ER, until you know that loved one is okay.

To drop off...and pick up? And think that was okay?no

And once you get that person home, your go out for beers with your friends?

Partner, you will never marry me.

Good thing we never tied the knot.

Bye, bye...jerk!

JMHO



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My NEIGHBOR had a health scare at two am. She is young but a widow. She called me and I took her to the ER and sat with her until they ruled out her appendix. They finally doped her up on pain meds, sent her home, and told her to see her regular doc in the morning. I brought her home. I have done this for several friends. Just because it's what you do. Basic human decency.

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Lawyerlady


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Vette wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:

I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

 

 



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LawyerLady

 

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Cheerios4606


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Mary Zombie wrote:

I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

 I get it. However being someone that has a hypochondriac family member, this is exactly what it sounds like when she complains that someone didnt help her out in her time of neeeeeeeeeeed.  EXACTLY like this. Like, scary exactly like this.



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Cheerios4606 wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:

I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

 I get it. However being someone that has a hypochondriac family member, this is exactly what it sounds like when she complains that someone didnt help her out in her time of neeeeeeeeeeed.  EXACTLY like this. Like, scary exactly like this.

 And it is very telling that she hasn't broken up with him given how "awful" he treated her.  Any normal person would throw his butt out, but she didn't.  Why? He probably does treat her badly and she fakes sickness to gain his attention.



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Divine Geek


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Cheerios4606 wrote:
Mary Zombie wrote:

I don't see any reason to assume she's a hypochondriac.

This isn't how you treat someone you love.

 I get it. However being someone that has a hypochondriac family member, this is exactly what it sounds like when she complains that someone didnt help her out in her time of neeeeeeeeeeed.  EXACTLY like this. Like, scary exactly like this.

 Yep Cheerios, I agree. 

I think this couple needs to break up. Either because 1) he's an ass that left her alone. Or 2) she's a hypochondriac and he can't even pretend to care when she's "sick" anymore. Either way, it's not going to work. 

Youre right, this isn't how you treat people you love. He obviously does not love her, but I'm not going to vilify him without some more info. 



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Cheerios4606


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She at least has the option to break up. :chortle: I dont have that luxury with the family member. It is a struggle between feeling like a bich cuz I dont care, or a schmuck cuz once again I got suckered into caring over something that wound up being nothing AGAIN.

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