DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited a couple to a dinner party and requested an RSVP. Despite two follow-up phone calls to determine if they would attend, I got no answer.
As the table had two empty places, I went ahead and invited another couple who responded affirmatively. At less than 24 hours before said party, the first couple finally responded that they would attend.
I replied that unfortunately as I had not heard from them, I assumed they were not coming and invited others. Did I handle this correctly? Should I not have invited the other couple?
GENTLE READER: Evidently, you should not have invited the first couple.
Rather than performing the minimal duty of answering your invitation when it was issued, they allowed you to assume the burden of finding out their intention — and let you do it twice, without responding.
Miss Manners takes that as a sign that they feel they owe you nothing, and thus are unlikely to trouble themselves to make your party a success, much less to thank you and to reciprocate.
You were prudent to handle the situation as you did. And let us hope that the substitute couple turned out to be more worthy of your hospitality.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I wonder if the RSVP had a "by" date? Although it was very rude of them not to respond, I would feel better about what she did if they had missed a deadline. Of course, her calling them twice should have given them a clue as to the urgency of a response. Hopefully, they learned a valuable lesson - don't wait until you know you have nothing better to do to respond.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
The only time I've ever used an RSVP was last year for mom and dad's anniversary party.
It was extremely stressful.
I'm more in the, if you invite them, expect them, line of thinking.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
