DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there any way to inquire politely what sort of milk/cream alternatives are available when the hostess asks whether anyone would like coffee? If skim or soy milk is the only alternative, I would rather forgo coffee altogether. I hate to accept a cup of coffee and then not drink it.
GENTLE READER: What alternative are you seeking? Cognac?
A host or hostess should properly ask how you prefer your coffee when it is offered. Should that not happen, Miss Manners will allow the recipient to make a reasonable request, as long as it is succinct. “With a bit of cream, please, if you have it” is acceptable. Ten descriptive qualifiers with made-up Italian words are not.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Well, I agree - just take the cream and deal. However, I can't say the same for sugar. I was out and when asked if I wanted cream and sugar and I said yes, they brought me cream, and all versions of artificial sweetener. When I asked for real sugar, they did not have any. I sent the coffee back. Now, that was a restaurant, and not someone's home, but I would not be drinking poison for the purpose of being polite anywhere.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Well in the current world where someone is sure to be offended no matter what is asked or answered, it's no wonder people are afraid to ask a simple question.🙄🙄 Can you tell I'm having fun with emojis?
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
Well in the current world where someone is sure to be offended no matter what is asked or answered, it's no wonder people are afraid to ask a simple question.🙄🙄 Can you tell I'm having fun with emojis?
Nope. All I see are a couple of square boxes. No emojis. Here are some for you -
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
If you have a preference, why not simply ask if they have it available?
Would you like some coffee?
I would yes, however do you have soy cream available?
No, we dont keep soy cream on our menu I am afraid.
Oh, well then I wont be needing the coffee after all. Thank you tho.
See? That wasn't hard now was it? Really... where do these people live that they cant figure out how to ask for something they want, and then politely decline if it isn't available?
Well in the current world where someone is sure to be offended no matter what is asked or answered, it's no wonder people are afraid to ask a simple question.🙄🙄 Can you tell I'm having fun with emojis?
Nope. All I see are a couple of square boxes. No emojis. Here are some for you -
I can see them.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
You missed that thread? Someone wrote into ask advice about how to eat a fat sandwich when lunching with coworkers. It became a very contentious thread with some saying you should be able to answer that yourself if you're an adult and others who said it was a valid question and we were mean for not realizing they had a terrible dilemma. It still makes me giggle that a grown adult needs advice on how to eat a fat sandwich.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
You missed that thread? Someone wrote into ask advice about how to eat a fat sandwich when lunching with coworkers. It became a very contentious thread with some saying you should be able to answer that yourself if you're an adult and others who said it was a valid question and we were mean for not realizing they had a terrible dilemma. It still makes me giggle that a grown adult needs advice on how to eat a fat sandwich.
I was somewhere in the middle there. If I remember, she was either interviewing and being taken to lunch or was new at the company. So, I understand the overthink. The first time I was invited to lunch as part of an interview, before the interview, I asked my sister what I should order. Now, I've been here long enough, I'm going to eat whatever I want, dripping sauce be damned
I suggested a fork and knife or taking off some of the meat if it's too much. I just think that an adult should be able to figure it out without Dear Abby's help.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
