DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the last year and a half. He is good to me and good to my 11-year-old daughter.
Recently, a man I have known for 40 years -- but have been in and out of touch with -- appeared back in my life. He was my first kiss at 6, and there were many unresolved feelings that I felt needed exploring. My daughter caught on and told me if I gave up my current relationship she would never forgive me, so I ended the relationship with my old friend, which left him with bitter feelings. Did I do the right thing? -- BITTER FEELINGS
DEAR BITTER: Because you felt it was appropriate to allow an 11-year-old to dictate your future, then yes, I suppose you did the right thing. In any case, it's a little late to second guess yourself now.
How did daughter learn about this old flame's return to her life? And really, she wasted a 40 year long friendship for a guy she's known 1 1/2 years and isn't married to? Hmmmm.....
No. An eleven year old should not be in control, but I can see taking them in very serious consideration.
And it sounds like the 11 year old has a more clear view on the situation.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I can see that great big eyeroll on that daughters face in my minds eye.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
How did daughter learn about this old flame's return to her life? And really, she wasted a 40 year long friendship for a guy she's known 1 1/2 years and isn't married to? Hmmmm.....
My take is she knows deep down the ex is not good for her and so knows her 11 YO is right but LW is a drama queen so feels a need to write about it. She needs to grow up.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I understand that you shouldn't let a 11 year old rule your life but, I'm assuming since there is no mention of her father that maybe the man she has been dating for over a year has acted like a father figure and understandably doesn't want to lose him and start over with another one.
Personally if I was a younger mother with a 11 year old I will be very careful who I would bring into her/his life. I feel that her child should come first.
How did daughter learn about this old flame's return to her life? And really, she wasted a 40 year long friendship for a guy she's known 1 1/2 years and isn't married to? Hmmmm.....
My take is she knows deep down the ex is not good for her and so knows her 11 YO is right but LW is a drama queen so feels a need to write about it. She needs to grow up.
I understand that you shouldn't let a 11 year old rule your life but, I'm assuming since there is no mention of her father that maybe the man she has been dating for over a year has acted like a father figure and understandably doesn't want to lose him and start over with another one.
Personally if I was a younger mother with a 11 year old I will be very careful who I would bring into her/his life. I feel that her child should come first.
This.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I understand that you shouldn't let a 11 year old rule your life but, I'm assuming since there is no mention of her father that maybe the man she has been dating for over a year has acted like a father figure and understandably doesn't want to lose him and start over with another one.
Personally if I was a younger mother with a 11 year old I will be very careful who I would bring into her/his life. I feel that her child should come first.
Yep.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
When I divorced, I made a concious decision not to date.
I was not willing to chance bringing someone into their lives that could possibly hurt them.
All I kept thinking was, it's always the mom's boyfriend they arrest.
I put my kids before every thing and every one.
And I have no regrets.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I know my brother's ex has been married 3 times since they divorced.
Not to mention all the live ins between the marriages.
My nephew and niece have moved to a new school every 2 years because of their mom's "persist of happiness".
It's been heart wrenching to watch.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I divorced my ex when my daughter was 7. I met my now DH when she was 12. I had no problem with dating but they never came home with me and none of them even met her. Until him and only after he proposed and we set a date. I was also home after every date and did not spend the night as I wanted to send a good message to my daughter. Judge me if you want but I did not give up dating after my divorce. I was not ready to be alone for 11 years waiting for her to turn 18.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
I worked 6 nights a week, and the rest of my time belonged to my kids.
I don't judge others for dating.
It just isn't something I was interested in.
Still not interested in dating.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
If that works for you lily all the more power to you. I'm glad I continued to date. I wouldn't have my amazing husband now. Some other smart woman would have snatched him up.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
If it was divorce you might rethink that FNW. Usually if there's a divorce measuring up is not a problem. It actually helped because I knew for sure exactly what I DIDN'T want.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
