DEAR ABBY: My husband of three years has visits with his son every Tuesday and Thursday evening. My mother-in-law picks up her grandson, takes him to her home and makes dinner for the three of them. I work 10-hour days Monday through Friday and am not able to attend these dinners.
My question is, isn't it proper etiquette that my mother-in-law should send a plate of food home for me with my husband? She never has, and I think this is rude and inconsiderate of her. What is your opinion? -- HUNGRY IN EL PASO
DEAR HUNGRY: Although brief, your letter speaks volumes about your relationship with your mother-in-law, which appears could be better. No rule of etiquette dictates that she is obligated to send a plate of her food home with her son for you. Perhaps if your relationship with her was warmer, or your husband was thoughtful enough to suggest it, she would. However, since you asked, my opinion is that rather than complain, you should pick up some take-out on your way home from work.
Why can't the husband make dinner at home for his kid, him, and her?
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Personally, I might welcome the free time where I could eat whatever I wanted, drink wine, and watch a chick flick. However, it would probably get old and I would feel like an omission. An outsider in my own marriage.
It would my husband getting a smack upside the head if I was never invited to these family dinners. Whether I am the stepmom or the mom it's still MY family.
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“Until I discovered cooking, I was never really interested in anything.” ― Julia Child ―
The leftovers is a nonissue. Get take out. Cook something yourself, whatever. The real issue, is she unhappy with hubby going over there to visit his son and MIL without her. If she is, then she needs to discuss that with her husband.
The LW doesn't seem concerned that she is not included in the actual dinner, just that they don't feed her afterwards. Have to wonder about the relationship b/t the step-mom and kid as well as with the MIL. There may very well be a reason the MIL doesn't feed her.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
I believe it is more about the husband not being thoughtful. I remember one holiday that I even contributed food to, I had to take my husband to the hospital I haven't eaten anything all day and was Easter and not only the fact they didn't bring a plate to the hospital for me, they didn't even save anything at all. I know it is not a big deal but it did hurt my feelings.
I believe it is more about the husband not being thoughtful. I remember one holiday that I even contributed food to, I had to take my husband to the hospital I haven't eaten anything all day and was Easter and not only the fact they didn't bring a plate to the hospital for me, they didn't even save anything at all. I know it is not a big deal but it did hurt my feelings.
Lindley, I beg to differ.
That was a big deal!
And it was very thoughtless of them, not to bring you something to eat at the hospital, on Easter, when you made part of the dinner.
(Gosh, if they ran out of the house so fast to get to the hospital, sure, I can understand that part of it. But, they should have offered to run out and get you something to eat, once they got there.)
JMHO.
I'm sorry that happened, Lindley.
It shouldn't have happened. Family should be more thoughtful.
The LW doesn't seem concerned that she is not included in the actual dinner, just that they don't feed her afterwards. Have to wonder about the relationship b/t the step-mom and kid as well as with the MIL. There may very well be a reason the MIL doesn't feed her.
Roger that, LL.
I don't think the LW made much of an effort, to be friends with her mother-in-law.
If they had a good relationship, I think the Mother-in-law would treat her better.
And, if her husband hasn't noticed. Or if he has, and has done nothing about it.
Wanna guess why he has an ex with a kid he shares custody with?
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Again, another insurmountable problem... Some people just have it too easy and have to look for things to complain about or worry about. OP should just worry about if she is always doing the nice/right/polite thing and not worry about others....
I believe it is more about the husband not being thoughtful. I remember one holiday that I even contributed food to, I had to take my husband to the hospital I haven't eaten anything all day and was Easter and not only the fact they didn't bring a plate to the hospital for me, they didn't even save anything at all. I know it is not a big deal but it did hurt my feelings.
Lindley, I beg to differ.
That was a big deal!
And it was very thoughtless of them, not to bring you something to eat at the hospital, on Easter, when you made part of the dinner.
(Gosh, if they ran out of the house so fast to get to the hospital, sure, I can understand that part of it. But, they should have offered to run out and get you something to eat, once they got there.)
JMHO.
I'm sorry that happened, Lindley.
It shouldn't have happened. Family should be more thoughtful.
Again, just my opinion.
Thank you fwm! I don't believe they meant any harm but it did hurt. I feel the husband should be the one to say " hey would it be ok if I fix my wife a plate to take home?" She should just ask him to see if he could bring a plate for her. Sometimes people are just clueless and that is one of the reasons couples should communicate with each other.
