DEAR ABBY: I have been married for three years. We are both retired. Five months after the wedding, my husband let me know that he wasn't interested in having sex anymore. We no longer share a bedroom. He's overweight, not in the best of health, and refuses to change his diet or exercise.
I feel like I am living with a very nice male friend. Other than the lack of affection, he isn't a bad person and he pays all the bills. I did state clearly to him before we were married what I was looking for in a husband, and he agreed to everything I said. Although I am lonely, I would never cheat on him.
I have been thinking about an exit plan. We pray every night and attend church together. He refuses to consider any type of marriage counseling. I'm not stressed, but I know I must get out of here. Any suggestions on how to save this marriage? -- THE EXIT PLAN
DEAR EXIT: The answer to your question is no. You made clear to your husband that sex in a marriage was important to you. You say he "agreed to everything." Because that was not the truth and you were misled, consult an attorney to find out if the marriage can be annulled.
If sex, or a lack there of, is her only complaint, perhaps she should leave.
They both could do better.
__________________
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I'm going to post to this thread with the assumption that the husband has no medical issue that doesn't allow sex (like ED).
If they pray together, I am going to assume that they are Christian. She should point out 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
Religion aside, he should also want to do it just to make her happy, even if for some strange reason he gets no satisfaction out of it himself. A spouse should put the happiness of their husband or wife before their own happiness. And while I can accept that there are some people out there that sex is not a big deal to, I cannot accept that there are any utterly repulsed by the act. So since it might mean nothing to him, but it definitely means something to her, he should acquiesce.
If he won't then she should leave him and file for divorce, for I believe that he has committed fraud as well as defiled their marriage bed by refusing her.
If he's not willing to do anything to get help or change then she should leave him. He may have intentionally deceived her and that makes the marriage invalid IMO.
Completely unreasonable to expect her to live like this, feeling hurt and rejected every day between now and dead.
If she has money I would separate the finances immediately as well.
She may already have, but she should have a frank conversation with him and to demand either they go to counseling together or she will go without him.
