Dear Prudence, I work for a very small company owned by a married couple, both in their mid-30s. The husband has a day job, and the wife works from home, so I usually only see them once a week. Two weeks ago, one of the owners informed us, happily, that they are pregnant with their second child. I was very happy to hear this news, until she dropped the bomb: She is only five weeks along. I have never had someone tell me that she was less than three months pregnant, so her news was very shocking. I did feel slightly uncomfortable about knowing about her pregnancy so early on, but I brushed it off. However, my discomfort started growing as it seems like she is having a difficult pregnancy. She takes two- to three-hour daily naps in the afternoon, will check out during meetings because she has a hard time focusing, and is constantly nauseated and has no appetite. During her seventh week of pregnancy, she texted all of us that she had “emergency health issues” and was ordered bed rest by her doctor for the rest of the week.
Now, all I can think about is the possibility that my boss has lost or will lose the baby, and I will admit (guiltily) that I do feel some resentment toward her for spilling the beans about her pregnancy so early on. I am a woman in my late 20s and have never gotten pregnant, so I can only imagine her physical and emotional pain, if something were to happen. Am I selfish to be upset that my boss, whom I have an employer-employee relationship with, told us about her pregnancy so early on? And if something does happen, what do I do? Unfortunately, I am pretty socially awkward, so acting like nothing happened will be close to impossible.
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It sounds like, with it being the second kid, Boss knew what she was in for. So told them early because it was going to be hard to ignore all the issues that she anticipated.
I work for a very small company owned by a married couple, both in their mid-30s. The husband has a day job, and the wife works from home, so I usually only see them once a week. Two weeks ago, one of the owners informed us, happily, that they are pregnant with their second child. I was very happy to hear this news, until she dropped the bomb: She is only five weeks along. I have never had someone tell me that she was less than three months pregnant, so her news was very shocking. I did feel slightly uncomfortable about knowing about her pregnancy so early on, but I brushed it off. However, my discomfort started growing as it seems like she is having a difficult pregnancy. She takes two- to three-hour daily naps in the afternoon, will check out during meetings because she has a hard time focusing, and is constantly nauseated and has no appetite. During her seventh week of pregnancy, she texted all of us that she had “emergency health issues” and was ordered bed rest by her doctor for the rest of the week.
Now, all I can think about is the possibility that my boss has lost or will lose the baby, and I will admit (guiltily) that I do feel some resentment toward her for spilling the beans about her pregnancy so early on. I am a woman in my late 20s and have never gotten pregnant, so I can only imagine her physical and emotional pain, if something were to happen. Am I selfish to be upset that my boss, whom I have an employer-employee relationship with, told us about her pregnancy so early on? And if something does happen, what do I do? Unfortunately, I am pretty socially awkward, so acting like nothing happened will be close to impossible.
—Office Etiquette
This person is a drama llama. She DROPPED A BOMB! IT's SHOCKING! IT's all i can think about! I am Resentful!! My Discomfort!
It’s sort of customary for people to hold off on announcing a pregnancy until after the 12th week to spare the parents-to-be the painful necessity of having to update everyone they know with news of miscarriage, not because the news might discomfit others. It’s certainly not a hard-and-fast rule, and telling people five weeks in might be a little unusual, but it’s not the breach of etiquette you seem to think it is. A miscarriage is not a shameful secret that is best kept to oneself, and your boss will not have done something wrong if she announced her pregnancy at five weeks and subsequently had a miscarriage. She cannot help having a complicated pregnancy, and she would likely still have experienced morning sickness and had to go on bed rest even if you didn’t know she was pregnant. Your resentment is unwarranted and out of place, and you should do your best to overcome it in private. Miscarriages are quite common, particularly in the first trimester, and if your boss does miscarry, you should express your condolences, offer your support, and continue to do your job well.
