DEAR ABBY: I dated the perfect man for two years. When he asked me to marry him, I had to say yes. He was kind, gentle, attentive, easygoing, full of dreams, great sense of humor, an excellent provider and sexually the best.
Three months after our perfect wedding, it all began to unravel. I learned he is bipolar with manic episodes. He has been married three times before me and always lost interest in sex. He says he may be attracted to men, then tells me he's not sure. He also isn't as good handling his financial affairs as he led me to believe.
I'm 58, and he's 59. How could I not have had a clue about any of this? I sold my house to move into the parsonage with him. After repeatedly being lied to, misinformed or left out of the loop all together, I am now couch-surfing, mainly at my ex-husband's house.
I feel tired and broken -- no income, no home, no respect and no hope of him getting it together. I would appreciate any advice or counsel. All I have figured out is to start over and remain single as he is my third husband. -- THIRD TIME AROUND
DEAR T.T.A.: You will feel less tired and broken after you have consulted a lawyer about helping you get out of this fraudulent marriage. And while you're at it, you and your lawyer should bring this to the attention of the church council or whoever holds the lease on that parsonage. I am sure they will be very interested in what you have to say about the leader of their flock.
__________________
LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
If she thinks she had found the "perfect" man, then she likes to live in a world of delusions. She choose to not see. I find it hard to believe she didnt' see any evidence of his bipolar personality in 2 years. And, he was married 3x before so that might be a clue lady!
Get an annulment. Get an attorney. Get a job. She was self-supporting 3 months before she married him, right? Or maybe not. I can understand selling her house to move in with him, but giving up her job? Why?
Good heavens. A parsonage? This man must be a great actor to lead such a multifaceted life and get to59 with no one noticing.... She evidently choose not to notice...
