So both my parents are 86 and in fairly good shape. Mom drives her friends who can no long drive to Doc app'ts, she hosts 2 bridge groups each week, etc. but the demise of her friends is depressing her. I imagine it does for most people. I am starting to see it in my own age group.
What are your experiences?
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I have recently begun seeing people I went to school with pass.
It is a bit stange.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I have had several friends die in the last few years. Some were my age. My grandparents are gone. I miss them every day.
I barely knew my grandparents. I knew them them when I was a tot. but they all passed by the time I was 12. And I have lost several friends too.
I feel most sorry for my mom. She is seeing the demise of her friends, is close to them, taking care of them. I think I just want to take her on a vaca to get her out of the routine.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I remember interacting with my great, great grandfather on my dad's mom's side.
I grew up knowing my dad's parents and both their parents'. My mom's parents and mom's grandmother.
I have still have 2 great uncles and a great aunt still alive, 2 aunts, 3 uncles, all their spouses, and a crap ton of cousins.
I miss each one I've lost, and treasure each one I still have.
I think the saddest loss is my aunt, dad's sister, growing up she called every birthday, anniversary, and every time anyone accomplished anything. She didn't stay on phone for long. Just said "happy birthday", or whatever the occasion, asked if you had a good day, and let you go.
When she had her stroke, it all stopped. She still remembers you when she sees you, but that's about it.
I miss her and she's still alive.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
I remember interacting with my great, great grandfather on my dad's mom's side.
I grew up knowing my dad's parents and both their parents'. My mom's parents and mom's grandmother.
I have still have 2 great uncles and a great aunt still alive, 2 aunts, 3 uncles, all their spouses, and a crap ton of cousins.
I miss each one I've lost, and treasure each one I still have.
I think the saddest loss is my aunt, dad's sister, growing up she called every birthday, anniversary, and every time anyone accomplished anything. She didn't stay on phone for long. Just said "happy birthday", or whatever the occasion, asked if you had a good day, and let you go.
When she had her stroke, it all stopped. She still remembers you when she sees you, but that's about it.
I miss her and she's still alive.
When I stop remembering, I want it to end.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I remember my Paternal grandmother, only because
my brother and I had to be very quiet around what
used to be our playroom - it was converted into a
hospice room, where my mother took care of a woman
who had only criticized her. Years later I understood
just what my mother had sacrificed.
My Maternal grandmother was a stately lady, always
immaculately attired, who behaved with grace and
dignity. She bought me my first real high heels, and
a hat with a veil (all the rage in in '56). I miss her
laugh and choice in TV shows. Even in black and
white, Gorgeous George the wrestler was fun to
watch. He was her favorite
Many of my classmates have passed away - illness,
accidents, OD, and Alzheimer's. I'm the Matriarch
from late DH's family - there are no other members
of our generation. The closest is a second cousin,
20 years younger. I'm also the oldest at our
Senior Center, and my OES chapter. Church,
however, is another story. One of our members
just celebrated her 100th Birthday last month.
My Dad's parents passed away, while he was serving in France, WWII.
I never met them.
My Mom's Dad, passed away, 6 months after her first husband was killed, at Leyte Gulf.
I only knew, one grandparent. My Mom's mom. Babci.
I wish I hadn't. She beat me, every chance that she got.
She lived with us, so...she had plenty of chances to beat me. (Mostly because she didn't like my Dad. He was Irish Catholic, instead of Polish Catholic. And, I was named after him. Great reason, to hate..right?)
I'm so excited, to be a Grandma!
I vow to do better, than what I suffered, with mine.
I think my Dad's parents would have been fun, from the stories I've heard.
I'm sorry that your grandmother was so hateful to you fwm :( My dad's mom died long before I was born, my paternal grandfather died when I was either two or three so I do not remember him. I wasn't to close to my maternal grandparents. Both my mom and dad are gone as well as my sister. I miss them every day.
My father died when I was 16. I've lost a brother and a sister. 3 of my 4 grandparents are gone - the 4th I don't see. My paternal grandmother didn't approve of her son's illegitimate daughter and after my father was gone - there was no need to even try.
Everyone dies. It's a fact of life. Some people are blessed with wonderful, long lives, and that should be celebrated.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Yes. I have always wondered what it would be like to have a big family. For some reason, my mom was one of 6 and she had a good relationship with her sisters, but all the siblings moved to different states/ towns. And, so I grew up barely knowing my aunts/uncles or cousins. My dad's family was a bit odd. I knew his mother (my grandmother) but he was estranged from a much younger brother and his sister seemed to have mental health issues.
My mom's parents were wonderful and when i was a kid, there were still gatherings at their home. When they died, that all seemed to end.
DH came from a dysfunctional family. His dad was an alcoholic. He did get clean and sober when DH was young (he was the youngest so that was probably most beneficial for him). But, his mother's mom had died and she didn't have much family and neither did his dad. So, we did see his mom and dad for holidays till they died and then we are very close to his brother and SIL and their children.
However, I can count on one hand the number of living relatives that I know. I am always amazed at these huge family gatherings and reunions. I know that i have cousins out there that I know and I have tried in the past to reach out to them but everyone is too busy with life nowadays or the distance is too much to over come.
So, enjoy your whacky uncle and opinioned grandma,etc because eventually, they will no longer be there.
DH has a big family, and they all live forever. I mean, seriously - 90's and 100. We've started going to those family reunions and the kids are enjoying it. But when his aunt and uncles die off, the reunions probably will, too.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
My Dad dropped dead when I was 20. I had called my mother at work to tell her I was staying late at school. I could hear it in the secretary's voice. I ran to the hospital and missed my family. They threw me in a room. No one wanted to tell me. Finally a nurse came in and told me. I asked to see him. Kissed his forehead and walked out. Puked. Then drove home. He and I were best buds.
I went to visit my grandmother who had fallen. Yeah, was in the room as she died.
My paternal grandfather died when I was 19. I had a severe pain in the chest for several hours. I was at a Diana Ross concert, miserable. Got home, collapsed with the phone in my hand to call for the paramedics then the pain went away. Early the next morning I got the call he passed, around the time I collapsed. That hit me hard.
My paternal grandmother died 10 years later. I visited her in the hospital. She was ready. She started seeing dead relatives, she would tell me. I handled that death better.
My maternal grandmother developed Alzheimer's. I had moved away but visited when I was in town. She always remembered me. My mother and aunt, nope. But me, yes. She would ask when I was moving back. My maternal grandfather lived to 90. I sent him a bouquet of balloons and he called, crying. It was the only time he ever received something like that.
Both of my father's brothers have died. It's just him and his sister. My mother lost one sister, with one remaining.
My father came from a family of 4 kids, my mother had two sisters. Two of my father's siblings had 4 kids each. We were all close. My paternal grandmother had two sisters and two brothers. They each had lots of children, and their children had lots of children. Family parties were fun. Little by little the "sisters" died off, and family parties weren't as frequent. After I left California, parties seemed to stop. My brother doesn't see the family at all unless I'm out. Last October we had a big family party at the beach house. Cousins came from all over Cali. My boys are still talking about it. We need to do that again.
I'm ok with it. I reached out on Father's Day and nothing so I blocked him on my phone. He can email me if anything happens.
I don't need that in my life!
My pawpaw's death a few years ago was the hardest.
He was fine, still doing auctions all over the southeast, he mowed his yard every week, was playing in churches all over, and telling jokes then he started having a lot of pain in his shoulder.
He went to the doctor in early March, was diagnosed with cancer, died Palm Sunday.
It was so sudden. From non stop to dead in such a short time.
-- Edited by lilyofcourse on Thursday 3rd of August 2017 01:12:29 PM
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
Even though it is never easy, it is from my experience harder when a death is sudden and unexpected. My mother had been in bad health for years and the last few months of her life wasn't easy for her. She was ready to go and I knew she was going to heaven. She asked me who that young man standing next to me was right before she passed. Her death even though I still miss her wasn't as hard as my dad's passing.
My sisters was the hardest because there was no warning and she died so suddenly.
my parents had six of us--of that group, five are still here(my brother died when he was 26)--both my parents have been gone for a while now and my lady's father died a couple of years ago--her mother is alive and has moved to the mountains--all of our grandparents are gone--as this life moves along have found that if you really loved someone, if you were close to them, they live on in your memory, in your heart(can still hear the individual voices of them all when they replay on a tape in deep storage in my mind)--most of my family are very long-lived--well into their 80s and 90s(and a couple of them to the low 100s)--will not be here that long myself--regards mortality, have always agreed with epicurus who pretty well defined the reality of this life a couple thousand years ago
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" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
It's ok to be old. Being old is beautiful. It means you've experienced life, touched many people. It means you've made mistakes and learned from them, it means you didn't die from some stupid stunt when you were young. It means you've had an impact on the world that you probably don't even know you've had.
And if people cry when you die, it means you were loved, and you didn't outlive all the people you love, having to watch them all go before you.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
our bodies aren't really designed to last more than 75 years or so--just not genetically feasible yet--perhaps our lifespan will extend into the 120s or so in the next 100 years--won't be here to see it so not of great interest to me--prefer a good life to a long life in any case--what ultimately happens is not completely under my control regardless--we've never really lived a chronological life so we view age as time only, not any specific number of years
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" the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. "--edmund burke
People in my family live into their late 90s and beyond. Had an aunt that was 105 when she died last year. She was still living on her own, going to church, cooking, cleaning, and hosting dinners.
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A flock of flirting flamingos is pure, passionate, pink pandemonium-a frenetic flamingle-mangle-a discordant discotheque of delirious dancing, flamboyant feathers, and flamingo lingo.
When you have aged out of being able to buy term life insurance, you is OLD. Like it or not. ;)
If one has lived their life financially minded, they do not need life insurance beyond their kids reaching the age of majority or their mortgage is paid off which should be by the age of 60.
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Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.
I think about these things a lot. While longevity is a good thing I guess, I also see a lot of elderly folks who have outlived their families, friends , most of their resources and because of technology now they're still hanging in and not all are happy about that!
Technology is a blessing and a curse I tell ya!
When you have aged out of being able to buy term life insurance, you is OLD. Like it or not. ;)
If one has lived their life financially minded, they do not need life insurance beyond their kids reaching the age of majority or their mortgage is paid off which should be by the age of 60.
Totally different point.
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LawyerLady
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
)
