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Post Info TOPIC: Dear Amy: Phony I Love You From Inlaws
Lady Gaga Snerd


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Dear Amy: Phony I Love You From Inlaws
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Dear Amy: My husband and I are middle-aged. We got married five years ago.

My husband’s parents live out of state. I only met them one time before we got married, and now see them about twice a year for a day or two.

Every visit or phone call is ended with them saying, “Love you.” It makes no difference if I am alone or with my husband.

I understand them saying this to my husband, but it is very awkward when this statement is addressed to me.

Any suggestions on how to fill the awkward silence after they say, “Love you?” — Awkward

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Dear Awkward: There are many kinds of love, and the way we express our feelings of affection are usually established in our birth family and home culture. I’m going to assume your family is much more reserved than your husband’s, and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is also nothing wrong with what your in-laws are doing.

 

You might examine what it would be like to fill this awkward space with, “Oh, love you, too.” I suspect that the minute you said it, you would feel an interior shift.

However, if you don’t want to do this, you can respond with, “Thank you! I feel very lucky. You two are great, and I always enjoy talking to you.”



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Vette


Owl drink to that!

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It's probably just a habit, I wouldn't read too much into it

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Maybe it is phony but so what? At least they are trying. Sounds like a stupid thing to sit around and be upset about.

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FNW


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They sound nice. Some people can't handle nice. Ugh.

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Lindley


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My daughter in law always says I love you when saying goodbye. the LW should feel blessed that instead of having in laws from hell, she has ones who considers her part of the family.

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Tangerine


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Maybe they know enough to know that they love her as their DIL.
Lw should be happy.

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lilyofcourse


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From my prospective, it's an extension of the love they have for their son.

I love my children, and I love their choices for significant others*.

*Disclaimer* I may not always like them, but I can still love them.

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Lady Gaga Snerd


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Maybe they really do love her, but they way they love her isn't the way she is used to being love? Why not assume the best instead of assuming the worst?

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